Friday November 21, 2014: It's just another day.

Its just another Friday here. Every other Friday (most of the time) my husband has them off. So we typically go on our date if we can afford it. Don't get too excited its just lunch out somewhere while the kids are in school. I am grateful he volunteered that we should go to take care of our Christmas shopping. So we took care of most of our shopping and didn't spend near as much as we used to. I am TIRED of toys. My kids either like being outdoors or on their electronics. There are times when my son wants his hot wheels or his legos but most of the time its electronics, board games, outside stuff. I have their big gifts to get but I didn't get them yet because I have no where to hide them LOL.

My blogger friend Beth and I were talking... Have you read her blog +Beth Applegate ? Anyways she was like I am not sure readers want to read about that. I was like have you seen the insane stuff on the internet? I never know what to blog about. I haven't been getting many comments so I guess I will just take the comments as suggestions. Like Beth I am not sure you want to read about the boring parts of my day? So what say you? Do you want to read about just an average day in the misadventures of my second life?

Monday November 17, 2014: They'll be waiting for us...

I usually will find any excuse to shop. I try to dress my kids up for any ole holiday.. Why not? Buy presents just because. oh the treasures you will find at Dirt Cheap, Marshall's, Ross, TJ Maxx and thrifting! I adore yard sales as long as my co-pilot isn't grumpy. In less than two weeks begins the biggest shopping season of the year- Christmas! Black Friday is coming and the retailers are waiting for us. We are getting armed with our leaked ads, our coupons, saving our discount cash for that one particular store only to find out it expires Wednesday before Black Friday. Yes I am the one person that tries not to shop without RetailMeNot dot com. I do shop around my husband will try to blame me for spending too much on my shopping addiction and our dolls. Its really him you can't take into certain stores without breaking the stereotypical you have to spend $100 just to leave the store. I can go into Walmart and pick up what I need. I despise Walmart first of all but its the only place that carries the type of Febreeze I use and the Ecos laundry detergent. But I can usually brave it enough to go in there once or twice a month and just get the laundry detergent and not go much further. It is hard to go Christmas shopping though and keep it reeled in. I have been working harder and focusing on things that would be better for the kids and not just a bunch of toys that sit around. Especially as money has been tighter..Sticking to a list and checking it twice. Shopping around regardless of Black Friday getting the most bang for my buck. After peaking at the Toys R Us Black Friday ad I was disappointed that not much of what was on the kids lists weren't in there. So it just means I will be double checking the list and being grateful for being able to give whatever I can give.
What kind of shopper are you? Do you shop for Christmas year round? Do you go out Black Friday or even Thanksgiving now that it is a thing? Do you oppose shopping on Thanksgiving? Or are you one of those people who waits till the last minute? Do you buy gifts for extended family, the mail man, the neighbor, and all the teachers?

Whatever type of shopper you are there are people out there that over shadow the goodness in the world. There are 3/1 angels walking amongst us but the squeaky wheel gets the attention so the bad guys always get the most attention. There are retailers out there not to be friendly. Small Business's that don't deserve our business although I am a huge advocate for Small Business shopping. There are dangerous people at the ready to steal our credit card information, our identities or break into our homes to rob us of Christmas. The Grinch these days is a lot more mean! Be mindful this holiday season posting information on social media or talking in groups. They are at the ready and they will be waiting for us

Then there are the people that are just greedy and grouchy. I have a few Scrooges in my life too. I just let my light shine and don't leave it vulnerable to those who are in a hurry to snuff it out. Misery loves company but just try to extend the warmth out but don't invite it in. Rick and I recently watched a movie called the The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry  and its a movie about forgiveness and parables in the Bible. I just think its also just something like Timmy showed the Scrooge, or Cindy Loo and the Grinch, no matter how much someone is grouchy showing them your heart might change them. Don't expect change but I still think we should show everyone our heart just not necessarily leave it vulnerable which is so easy to do during the Holiday season.

Anyways do your shopping with the best heart possible and remember those who don't have anything under their "tree". Teach your children the true meaning of giving and Christmas. I love me some Santa but its really St Nicholas's spirit isn't it? They will be waiting on us...

Thankful Thursday

So who does the 30 days of Thankfulness on social networking? I have heard some people say that you should be thankful every day not just because Thanksgiving is coming. I am thankful every day but sometimes we just need to speak it out loud. Plus! social media could always use some more positivity am I right? So yes I have been doing it. I think I have missed one day but I have been keeping up with it pretty good coming up with heart felt thank you's. I was going to do them on the blog but I realize I am behind so maybe I will just post them on my weekly meme of Thankful Thursday? I don't know I am even hoping to keep up with my blog that long. Also in November is Epilepsy Awareness month so I try to spread awareness of Epilepsy because I had it until I was 21 and my first husband died from it at 27. So I think its important to educate! We have so much emphasis in October for Breast Cancer Awareness and Susan G Komen where is the awareness for the other types of cancers and conditions? Sure we can't fit them all into a 12 month calendar but I can't walk into Walmart in October without feeling like I walked into Barbies Dream house because even the mop is pink!  Day 13 of the 30 days of Thankfulness I am going to go back 2 years ago to what I wrote. I am thankful for my mommy group. Bella's Mommy Chat. I found mommy groups 14 years ago when I got my first home computer that had internet. I was a member of a few as they were the thing at the time. BabyCenter.com was growing. AOL groups were growing, AOL chat was growing... I am not sure I remember much about my first group I joined or who was in it. I know one of the groups the owner ended up loosing the internet and I ended taking it over and it became Bella's Mommy Chat. I started in in October 2000. We are still around today some of us are pretty close some of us have drifted apart. Pretty soon some of us will be having kids that will need their own type of social networking. I always kind of thought our kids would join BMC after they had kids. I don't see that happening now LOL. We have had pretty much the same staple group of ladies in our group. Some of us have children that keep in touch. My daughter tries to text and Instagram with my friend Kristin's daughter who is just a little bit older and Kristin's son who is a year older. We've met in person a few times but she lives a few states away. I have rested my head on their shoulder for the whole time I have been a mommy. Sometimes things get busy and we leave and come back or the group will grow quiet. Sometimes I feel like its just me bitching to myself haha. They put up with my bitching. We are from all over yet we come together. We have had a baby shower for a member where a lot of us traveled to her home state to throw her the surprise shower right after Hurricane Katrina. Some of them have been there for me through times of me running away from my first husband's abuse, living in a battered women's shelter, being homeless, through my trials and tribulations that spell my "first life" We welcome new members too and we are all types of people and we are there for each other I think for the most part. It must be hard for some new people because we have known each other for over a decade so we can be a little bit cliquey but we are overall a warm group of mothers. Some of the mothers have 22 year old children, One is a grandmother! Then some of us like Kristin and I thought we were done making babies and we decided to have one more and surprise the world again!  I am very thankful for my group of Loopies as we call them as they have been there for me through thick and thin. Good weather and bad.  Day 1  30 days of thankfulness. I am thankful on the chilly days that I can just relax in my fuzzy pajamas and stay warm. It reminds me to pay my "angel" backpack and put it in my vehicle. I think I will be working on that soon. What is an Angel bag? I have an old book bag I got from some local company. Inside I will put a blanket, water, maybe some food, and a little money, maybe even a first aid kit. I give it to a homeless person if I happen upon one. ‪#‎angelsamongus‬ Day 2 of 30 days of Thankfulness. I am thankful for Patti  for coming up with Tots 2 Teens and Dianne who I affectionately call boss lady has taken it and grown it to Rocket City Consignment it gives me the ability to not stress about how I am going to pay for my children's wardrobes every season and gives me money for holidays to boot or other things that we wouldn't be able to afford. I don't care how much money I make to take home because I know I paid for my kids wardrobes. The added cash is just bonus! Very grateful for you two ladies!

Day 3 of Thankfulness. I am thankful for the military service members and emergency workers that hold ground back home. They all sacrifice a good bit to keep us safe, free, and healthy. Our lives wouldn't be what it is without them. My life wouldn't be what it is without my husband's 24 years of sacrifice and his hard work for the past 4 years at Northrup Grumman still continuing to do what he does and supports the troops at the same time.

Day 4 of the 30 days of Thankfulness. I know this is going to sound forced and cheesy but I have always been patriotic I am thankful for the right to vote. I can't vote this year because my voter card is locked away where I can't get it  but I am very thankful for the right and never neglect or abuse them. *Update I don't know why I had two on the same day- ah it was a typo? I did go vote and thankful I did! 

Day 5 of 30 days of thankfulness. Marriage isn't always easy. Its usually actually pretty tough- at least for me. Marriage is work but I am thankful I get to go to sleep with me at night most of the time. I can't say wake up next to the same person because he wakes up hours before I do LOL. I am thankful for Mackenzie, Skylar, and William. Skylar & William are healthy and moderately happy. I am blessed.

Yesterday was one of the worst nights I have had in a long time and I just longed for a hug, some reassurance, an "its going to be okay", How about we fix this problem etc... yet I felt so cold and alone it hurt that much worse. I was even drawing a blank for my thankfulness until this popped up on my feed. Day 6 of my 30 days of thankfulness

Day 7 of 30 days of thankfulness. I am taking this one back from the history books. I am thankful everyday for my lord and savior. Its nice to thank him once in a public forum. I try to talk to God or pray every day and sometimes I take time to meditate with a play list of praise music and some other songs that seem to set the mood of peace for my day. Some days I use praise music to calm myself too. Like the last two days my anxiety has been the worst its been in a few years. PTSD is cruising high because of the school. I woke up this morning and turned on my praise music to start my day off right and I am jamming along and I am just thankful knowing that he picks me up and hasn't let me down I am thankful for him! I am thankful for my faith. I am thankful for Willowbrook Baptist Church and Pastor Mark.

Day 8 of 30 days of Thankfulness https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QJyMq6UN48&feature=share

Day 9 of the 30 days of thankfulness. I am thankful for my life experiences. When someone shows empathy for me and says I am so sorry that happened to you. I do want to say I am not. The only things I wish didn't happen was Adam passing away because Mackenzie lost his father and the custody war with Mackenzie because both have been unfair to Mackenzie. Adam had dreams and potential he was very talented just shrouded in sickness. However both events very much shaped me good and bad. I am thankful for most of my past relationships because each one has left a tattoo on my heart and soul. Some relationships I learned lessons, some have changed my life and made a lifetime impact on me. Some I remember fondly and some not so fondly. Either way I try not to make regrets. No matter what happened in my life I have learned every time I have gotten burned. I have learned with every success and failure and as one of my favorite poems says its in the valleys that I grow. I may have gotten lost a time or two but I know that I held on to my faith and he kept me straight and narrow. I didn't question loosing children or Adam. Loosing family and making me sacrifice to teach me and I believe I am on a path. So I am thankful for every person I encounter on my path, every bump, stall, rock, boulder, mountain, valley, rainbow, storm... Along my way for they shaped me and I would only take back the two things above for Mackenzie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Do32g82qilk

I missed day 10 because of my pain I think?...lets get back on track.. I already had a day of thanking our troops Day 11 of the 30 days of thankfulness I am thankful for those doctors and other medical professionals that DO care. That aren't in it for the paycheck (I don't see most of them driving Mercedes Benz so I am not thinking there is money to be had) but those who actually strive to have good bed side manner and take the time to listen to their patients and will do what they promised in their oath. 22 years ago my life was in a doctors hands after I was neglected and very ill for a long time and he took my face and made it almost as good as new. I have never seen such a caring doctor and I probably won't trust a doctor so blindly like I do Dr Burstein. He set the bar really high for the other doctors in my life.

Day 12 of 30.. I am thankful for laughter. I laugh a lot even when I am sad. There is much to find amusing in the world and you don't even have to look hard. He's not funny but how can you watch Richard Simmons and not smile? Okay so he may be over the top and annoying to some but I grew up seeing him.. literally at his gym in LA. He makes me smile he exudes happiness. I can't imagine a world without Robin William's laughter. Now he is gone from this world but I still have his work to hold on to. No one can make me smile and laugh like he can. I still feel tinges of deep sadness if I see him on the TV, or an article or whatever but he can bring me out of my mood. I love to laugh and laughter is the best medicine.