I have been described by people as thoughtful, selfless, loyal, and compassionate. I think I am a very loyal person. It takes A LOT of things to cause me to actually cut ties with a person. One thing that is guaranteed to get me pushed over the bridge and have me burn that bitch down? Get my kids involved. That will get you cut out real quick. I am fiercely protective over my children. I am a GOOD and DECENT person and try to be everyday. I TRY to become a better person everyday. Today I learned something about loyalty. I woke up at 2 or 3:00 am to 15 missed calls and 100's of texts from a "friend" who was drinking and as he usually does he blows up my phone when he drinks and when he gets in a spat with his ex wife. *backspaced a long vent that is inconsequential that wasn't one made by a good and decent Christian LOL * I then found out his ex wife went to the Hospital ER to have an MRI and let her young children wonder around a busy hospital parking lot, 4 lane highway... because she didn't feed them and they were hungry. I woke up MY daughter, my husband got ready, got the other child and the dog and drove two cars (I cannot drive at the moment). So we could go pick up her kids. Where from that point both people made me out to be the bad guy. The one that hasn't rushed to their side for years. I have taken them in. Given them money. Given them food to eat. I have been a good steward. I have been loyal and kind. Okay honestly as kind as my very unfiltered mouth can be. For THEM though I stay very reserved, I push things down. I turned my cheek to the betrayal etc. Forget it. Its not even MY feelings that are paramount here... Its MY children and THEIR children. I can build my children up. I can repair some of the damage they do to them but I am helpless with as much as they destroy and wound their children. *should I backspace here too heh?* Broken kids make broke adults.
Anyways back to the topic its not even just about these particular people in my life but also my sister and others that have betrayed me, wounded me (or my children), Disrespected me. Then turn around and make me the bad guy? I give up my last slice of bread and you say I AM THE BAD GUY? I couldn't figure it out. Then epiphany.... I am the bad guy because they don't recognize loyalty. To one person their definition of loyalty is never showing them that they are wrong. To another it may be giving in to every whim. To another it may be lying, deception, and manipulation. Those aren't the definition of loyalty. So I am the bad guy here because no matter what I do I will be the one disloyal to them because they don't recognize a loyal person because they aren't one themselves.
I am a person that has your back even when the wounds are fresh in mine where you stabbed me. But if you don't recognize that then I guess you won't recognize how once-in-a-lifetime it is to have unconditional love given and real loyalty? I don't know I have been on the soul search myself about unconditional love since I have never had it from people who shared my genes, my blood, whom fill my memories. So I treasure the even THOUGHT of a person being like myself to someone like me.
