Grief and mood tracker

July 27, 2025

Mood (1 = Terrible, 5 = Peaceful/Content): 4

Grief (1 = Overwhelming, 5 = Calm): 4

I worked today. It was a quiet day overall.

I’m not feeling well. Last night I used ChatGPT to spell check and make my journal concise and it responded with a letter from Brandon’s point of you. It was so close to his cadence and his quirky sayings- just CHILLS man!

It’ would be Adam’s 51st birthday. 

How do I make an imprint on the world?

A homeless couple came in looking for help. He said he was a vet with a pacemaker and the heat was very high today. So I told them they could take their dog and sit in an alcove area of the building to charge their phone and cool down. I printed off resources to find help. Sadly it’s hard being homeless with a pet. I know what it’s like to be in their situation. I’ve been homeless, I’ve couch surfed. I know it all to well.. with a baby. I hope I showed them compassion and kindness. My mom asked us in her will to donate to homeless pets so I try to do that. I asked them if Princess Boots needed anything to eat or did they want they leftover pizza. I hope they get the help they need soon.

Welcome 2014!

What a way to start out the new year... 

Monday William was burning up running a temperature and then he started to get a sick tummy.. I usually don't rush my little ones to the doctor since 99% of the time I hear Skylar has strep even though she rarely has symptoms and/or its just a virus it has to work its way out. But I was genuinely concerned and Rick said he would just feel better if I took William to the doctor so I did. He weighed just shy of 40 lbs and he had a 103 Temp. They swabbed him for influenza and strep throat. Strep came back positive. Poor Bubby was more still and quiet than he's been since the day before he was born. He slept almost all day with a small spurt of energy.. Anyone that knows William knows he has the energy of 4 - four year old boys. Yesterday he wasn't any better and for awhile we were really worried because the stomach got much worse and he had not gone potty. So we canceled the sitter (she is sick anyways) and just chose to stay in. It was also my husband +Richard Stevens  50th birthday. He ran to get take out from one of our favorite resturants and I ran to Publix to get birthday party supplies (cake, ice cream, birthday card, present, candles)... We had our own little party here at the house. Not the Steam Punk bash I had planned :( 

1/1/2014...

William is better. He only vomited this morning and has been holding down everything else. His fever finally broke after 3 days and he hasn't napped today. We've had a chill and lazy day. The kids playing Sims and Just Dance and just playing. Rick building his war game and me bouncing between things like the new American Girl Release of Isabelle, Sims, chores, and playing with the kids.

Fever Bugs showing a Normal temperature.

Jig is up. I share an embarrasing moment.

Well on Tuesday I got up put my nice jeans on (Ok so they were a $1 at a yard sale, but they were Avenue, they were soft, and they fit comfy)... I went to Chuck E Cheese to meet the rest of the Military Play group. After Chuck E Cheese we went to Party City, Babies R Us, Michael's and even Rick ran into Target. After we got home I baked cupcakes (Cinnamon Tea Cake) and then went across the street to my neighbor Brittany's. Every time I get into sunlight I sneeze. So I have to crouch down (so I don't wet myself) and pull the cupcakes, ice cream and my coke away from my body so they are germ infested.... I go to Brittany's and we have a good time. Eating cupcakes, opening presents etc... I come home go the bathroom and it looks like a bomb blew out the back of my jeans. I am not talking I split the seam. I am talking about you clearly see my butt! I put pajama pants on and marched over to Brittany and asked if she noticed my hole. I mean crater... She said sorry honey I don't check out your ass LOL. I was mortified and wondered how long it had been there... Like since Chuck E Cheese?




Now I mourn my comfy jeans and had to get an old navy credit card to be able to afford another pair which aren't so comfy and nice *wah*

Happy Birthday Mackenzie

Yesterday my oldest son -that I gave birth to turned nine. I just wanted to wish him online a Happy Birthday and on myspace (only) I told some of his story. So if you know my Myspace account you can see it or else ask :)

First of all Mackenzie Robert Taylor's Birth story. The second part I wanted to share is only my Myspace due to privacy.


I was married to Adam at the time and we worked at Domino's Pizza as managers together. My sister Cherish and I were pregnant at the same time. I would talk to my sister Angela who had already had a baby and she would tell me labor feels like someone squeezing my stomach so hard I can't breathe. Well one day I had pain but it didn't feel like that it felt like someone stabbed me and twisted the knife in my cervix. We lived an hour and a half from the hospital I was supposed to have Mackenzie. I went to the local hospital that had a bad rep and rubbed me the wrong way early in my life. They told me to take all these IV drugs and I didn't want to. They told me if I could talk through my contractions I wasn't in labor. They finally told me that they were giving me a bag of saline to hydrate me to help labor along. It wasn't saline and my labor stopped. I had an OB appointment and Ultrasound the next day and I couldn't' move out of my car. Adam ran in and got a wheel chair and a nurse. I begged them to induce me. Not that I needed much help. They did the exam and ultrasound I was 38 weeks. They sent me to the hospital to induce me and gave me a bunch of guilt trips about it. They put half a dose of cervidil and five minutes of the pit (hell in a needle I call it lol) and my contractions were right on top of each other. But they wouldn't show up on a stress test. It looked like uterine irritation. Oh man I was in pain. I finally gave in to IV drugs. I slept for 9 hours. I woke up like I was being stabbed to death screaming my head off. Adam and I had an argument over the epidural. I didn't want it. Finally I gave in to that as well. I slept another 9 hours lol. They woke me up to check my cervix and I couldn't feel NOTHING but a wet butt lol. I said I think my water broke because my rear is wet.... It had and I was at 10. They said ok time to push and I am like what how? I can't feel my own rear end! They woke up Adam and my sister in law. Adam had a seizure. Then there was drama about whether or not he should go to the ER. Then he wanted my sister in law to coach me. I was like no make sure Adam doesn't hurt himself this baby is coming with all the help of these nurses and midwife. I pushed out Mackenzie in about 30 minutes and he was perfectly fine. I had a great labor in my opinion.
By the way Mackenzie was born a week to the day of my nephew Matthew. Matthew was still in NICU when Mackenzie was born.

Its that time again... I am thirty!

Happy Birthday, Mackenzie, Matthew, Cherish and Phebe!

I went to Adairsville today to see Cherish and family she had a birthday party for Matthew his birthday was actually on the 24th. We had a good time long drive. I drove most of the way there :) Share pictures later...