Dear Mr President

Hands Held High by Linkin Park

There are a lot of things I haven't done.

I was on a Marriage Retreat several years ago hosted by the Chaplain in the Army. The Chaplain tried to explain to us wives that our husbands had been through more life experiences than we could ever experience. I beg to differ. My husband has seen Iraq, he's seen war, he's seen hunger but not experienced it, he's seen and been through some pretty tough stuff. But in most common terms he is book smart to my street smart. There are a lot of things I haven't done.. I have never served even though I tried they wouldn't take me in. I applied for 3 out of the 4 main branches too!. I haven't been to a country such as Iraq and I haven't been globe trotting and seen the ruins in Turkey, the Salt Mines, Castles, and death camps of Germany. I haven't seen the beautiful greenery in Ireland. But I have seen things in this world he hasn't seen. I have lost a spouse and a child. I have had a lot of tragedy. I had no one picking me back up once I had fallen. I was almost completely alone. He's always kinda had the military to support him in every endeavor. They cook for you, they tell you when to get up and when to go to bed, they give you clothes to wear, they train you and protect you.. They even teach you how to drive if you need it. He's never been without a job for long or insurance. He's never really had to live on Welfare as I have and bust my ass to try to find any way I can to pay my rent. I have hustled many times to make four pennies rub together to make a nickel.  There are things I have more experience in than he does. I think its important in a marriage to respect your spouses strengths and not challenge them when they show you their strength. Its not emasculating to let the wife win sometimes. Its not even about me winning its about respecting the knowledge I have acquired and acknowledging I did go through that and I might know a thing or two. Not all advice given has to be taken but at the very least like when your a new mother and you get an absurd piece of advice you brush it off you don't fight with your mother in law about it just to make tension. Do you think it might be wise to take someones advice if it makes sense if things haven't been going your way for some time? You think maybe you can say I tried it didn't work and throw it back in their face politely? Maybe then they would shut up. As I tell my step son what your trying isn't working and your frustrated with not making progress why not let someone in? Why not let someone give you advice? Why not let someone else take the reins? I am a special brand of stubborn but I am not so stubborn if I don't know where the hell I am going I don't ask for directions. I don't believe in wasting time or energy about trying to attempt something without direction. That's like a doctor doing a procedure without knowledge isn't it? Playing with fire a bit. The whole time your playing with fire your wearing the other people down and they are loosing hope. They are eventually going to give up. I am tired of being bloodied trying to help others when all they have for me is a brick wall and they don't want my help. They don't want to be my partner. 

I haven't done a lot of things in my life. I haven't achieved my life long dream of animal conservation. Dreams don't die though priorities change. There are many of my dreams I don't know where to begin to go and achieve them though. I have never been popular at least by my standards I have never been a cheerleader or a football star but perhaps something I have done make the difference in this world. I believe I can make a difference in this world even if not everyone is pleased by what I do or haven't done. 

Brag bag or tacky bag

I am sure I have written about this in some way shape or form but here I go AGAIN.

I respect the uniforms of the men and women in the Armed Forces as I respect the men and women who wear them.
I believe in taking the up most care of the uniform by keeping it as clean as possible (being in the military is a dirty job), pressing it when possible, and keeping it up to standard. I do stick my nose up in the air when a redneck or a hunter gets a second hand uniform and cuts them into shorts or makes it look totally tacky. (By the way tacky is a matter of opinion for you and for me.) 
I think re-purposing uniforms into household things, bows, clothing, and purses can be done nicely. There is always someone that has to be tacky LOL.
I do not believe in any way shape or form should the American flag should be cut and re-purposed into anything. It IS against flag code. I do not believe its the same thing as re-purposing the uniforms. 
The argument is I didn't earn the uniform my husband did. My husband did earn the uniform and its his choice what he does with them when he is done with them. He has his last uniform he wore hanging in his closet and I have a purse made from his last uniform from his last deployment. A lady named Jennifer through Hero on my Shoulder http://heroonmyshoulder.vpweb.com. My husband actually bought me my very ACU bag while he was deployed off of Ebay so it had nothing to do with his uniform. He bought my daughter one from the shop at Ft Campbell when we were visiting as well. Since then I have a total of  6 uniform bags including my daughters. I never wear rank or medals. Who does that? That is ridiculous IMO. I do wear my name tape and usually a tape that says US Army Wife, Veterans Wife, Merry Christmas... something like that. I have his unit patch because I am proud of his unit and to be apart of it. Since my husband retired two years ago the unit doesn't even exist anymore. They no longer use the patch so someone of the same unit would be the only ones to recognize it. If I could find more Army Wife/ Veterans wife patches I would think its cool to use them. They make child sized uniforms and sell them through Clothing and Sales... How is that not tacky too? They should really make patches for the kids (I survived my first deployment with daddy, I PCS'd to.., I left my childhood home.. Things that kids do for the military life.) I got so many compliments and only a very rare rude comment about my second purse (it also has photo pockets to show off my Soldiers too!) I wanted a second one badly. The photo pockets need some work and the ribbon too. I decided if I am going to get complimented for wearing my bag why not get PAID for it. So I joined as a recruiter for Military Apparel Company and started to carry their bags. I got a Class A uniform for a diaper bag and a smaller purse to carry. Again I would get many compliments and tried to make money carrying these awesome bags. I did nothing but carry a bag and hand out a card to those who asked about them. I finally got the bag I use now as a surplus from someone's business online. So I only really have three bags made from my husband and step son's uniforms. I love my ACU bag... it works for me its not just the uniform that makes it perfect for me its got a nice strap that sits on my shoulder the way it should... lots of pockets inside and out and it fits my style and personality. I don't walk around in ACU all day no... I don't wear Proud Army Wife shirts very often since he retired (but hey the hoodie is still warm on some days). But it works for me and I do like the compliments on my bags. I have even got stopped by a 4 star General. So if its so disrespect to the uniform wouldn't he know instead of telling me how nice my bag was? Not very often you get stopped by a male to tell you that you have a nice purse even if its Gucci, Coach, Chanel, Dooney and Burke or even a bag from Good Will. MEN do not tell you that you have a nice purse unless they are homosexual LOL. Yet I get compliments all the time from our men in uniform :)


If a chick wants to have a proud army wife sticker on her car, a proud army wife shirt on her body, Recruiting for booty undies under her jeans, and carry an ACU bag... That's her damn business. She's not showing off her booty underwear and just maybe her husband likes that she is proud of him. There is a classy way of carrying off your clothing and gear and there is a trashy way of doing it :) Knowing the difference is huge! So if you think I am tacky in my pink Army Wife shirt with camo pants carrying my ACU bag while holding the hand of my toddler wearing her ACU dress.... look the other way we are proud to be in such a unique family. I won't be walking a run way in New York City but I didn't consider your opinion when I was in my closet this morning anyways. Those of you who have something nasty to say about it are the ones that people shouldn't look at when looking at the military wives. 

I saw on Facebook this morning someone said "What i can't stand,gets under my skin like no other..when girls (usually) foam at the mouth about how great their man is because he's a serviceman or cop or firefighter,etc. No no no...an occupation doesn't make a person good. Can't they "brag" about how great he is because he's loving,caring,understanding,accepting,kind, a good dad,funny,etc. Those are brag worthy traits. An occupation is just a check!!" How true is that... I am proud of my husband because he tries to be a good father and husband and he has strong work ethic and takes responsibility seriously... too seriously LOL. Being in the military service for over 24 years shows sacrifice and commitment also traits to be proud of. It IS hard work. Being in the military doesn't make you a good person... Timothy McVey was in the military... He's not a good person and hopefully is burning in hell. There are plenty of Military service people that aren't good people I just snagged one of the good ones :)

Dear PTSD (Love this article)

*Editor's note: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) affects untold numbers of American servicemembers  and veterans. What is easy to overlook is the toll taken on their family members. BI Military & Defense is starting a series of letters written by Battling BARE members, a group of women married to PTSD sufferers hoping to give light to life with someone suffering from PTSD. We believe these letters offer a stark and unique insight into a growing American epidemic.

This first letter is from the Heather Goble a Navy spouse of nine years.

Dear PTSD,

Before you came into my life, I had heard rumors. Back then, no one really spoke about you unless it was in hushed whispers. No one knew for sure what you looked like- but I heard you did unspeakable things... that you crept into bed with husbands and seduced them away from their unsuspecting wives. I also heard that you drank. A lot. I heard sometimes you could be two places at once- physically in one place but mentally elsewhere. It was also said that you were a liar, home wrecker, careless and violent... that sometimes you would take your mounting anger out on walls or whatever or whomever happened to get in your way. You left shattered picture frames and broken memories in your wake. There have been songs written about you... yet they don't even begin to do justice to just how evil you are. In fact, there has been talk of you being a murderer. I can't say that I'm surprised. I wouldn't put it past you. I believed those rumors and I certainly never invited you into my life.

But you came anyway.

And you were relentless.

It was four and a half years ago when you crept into our lives- an unwelcome guest. I'm not sure if you were in his med (medical) bag on the plane or if you quietly crept in through an open window one night making him awake in a state of panic... but once you came, no matter how much I begged and pleaded, you just kept finding ways back into our life. Persistent. I still can't believe the cops were never called when you would be banging down the door just to prove you were still there, still providing him the thrilling "alive" feeling I couldn't... At first you were just a nuisance... doing stupid things like ruining our sleep and tracking your sandy footprints all over our home, leaving shattered glasses, like a disrespectful child never cleaning up after yourself... leaving your mark to let us know you were still there...then you started turning up and interfering with his job. Distracting. Leaving us on edge...but you proved to be a stealth, well-trained machine... incognito even. We knew you were there but no one else admitted to seeing you- some might say you were a ghost of sorts. Eventually, we thought maybe they were right- that maybe you weren't there to stay.... So we tried so many times to go on pretending we had moved on... but you are like the ex we avoided yet managed to bump into on the fourth of July at the fireworks, causing him to hide under the nearest table so you don't see him and have to wax nostalgia about all of your memories. Those trips down memory lane were always too much to handle anyway.

But we were wrong. And you were angry. Angry that we wished you away or that we ignored you - I'm still not sure which but you sure let us know it. Quite the elaborate production. You make quite a scene, don't you? You followed us everywhere we went. Proof of your existence began popping up everywhere but, like us, others knew of your bad reputation and hanging out with you started to get him into trouble at work... and then at home... You once left a hole in the wall at the top of the stairs...and I read the elicit text messages between the two of you... you sure were proving all the rumors true.
The last straw was when you began attacking me for trying to pull him away from your allure... your antidepressant induced numbness ... All I wanted was to go back to being a couple but everyone knows, PTSD, you're a dirty, dirty whore. You weren't ready to let go yet. You had greater plans... the ultimate sacrifice was number one on your list. You wanted his life. And you tried to take it. You probably would have won if I conceded defeat that day but, unlike you, using him for whatever thrill... I love him. So I saved his life. I'd heard you'd been violent before, or in instances like ours, cowardly, disguising yourself as miracle pills that would end the suffering you've caused. Some might say you are the snake to Adam and Eve. Even the experts trained to recognize you, they were so afraid of you and the implications of your existence that they concocted an elaborate cover up and sent us on our way. Maybe you are just bloody brilliant.

I've been reading in the news lately about how good you've gotten at tricking the military into believing you aren't real and I gotta say, I'm impressed. But I'm not buying it. At all.

I've been talking about you, PTSD, and I have about had it with you in my life. The few bruises, the tears, the fear, the insecurity, anxiety, infidelity, deceit and the broken heart.... I'm over it and I want my husband back. I bet you feel real big... that uneasy feeling you leave in the pit of my stomach never goes away anymore. Empty promises don't ease my pain. You have even stooped so low as to bring my children into your little shenanigans and that is just crossing the line. They aren't babies like they were when we first met. They're perceptive. They've witnessed our arguments. They've seen how terrible you are to me but I'm strong. I'm a fighter and when it comes to my children, I always show them that...but you're expertly trained and certainly know how to subdue your victim until they concede defeat.
This time is different, though. You have me so close to waving the white flag to protect my children... but I know once you put the pen in my hand to sign away the relationship I committed to, you will only find another home to ruin. It is for that reason that I will let you win this round. I walked away... No, I ran. In fact I fled. Hundreds of miles. Too tired to fight... but I'm regrouping. Preparing. Training. Filling my arsenal. More focused and driven than before. I'm sure you've heard the phrase that Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned. If you won't go quietly into the night and leave my family be, you need to know I'll never give up. And when you come at me again, I'll be prepared. This time I have a ton of women who have my back. We will tell everyone what you do. I won't let you have him. I want him back. And I don't care if you have to rot in hell but you will lose. I hope you're ready. PTSD, I hate you...

Sincerely,
Heather Goble,
-wife of HM2 FMF Justin Goble
United States Navy 2003-pending PEB
-mother
-fighter

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/dear-ptsd-letter-from-a-military-wife-2012-7#ixzz20eMXEru2

I thought I would hate...

Growing up I always said I wouldn't marry into the military and being a Georgia Peach I always said I wouldn't live in Alabama in my Carpe Diem moment I did both. I can't say I don't still HATE Alabama but Huntsville I have learned to love. It woo'd me and I am here. You go an hour outside of Huntsville and you definitely see a difference. I was born in California and raised between the suburbs of Los Angeles and Atlanta until the age of 10. Then I lived in the suburbs of Atlanta until I separated for my first husband.Then I lived in the peaceful mountains of Georgia... Still a Georgia Girl through and through. I didn't leave Georgia until I met Rick.

I thought I would hate being a military wife but being something is more mind over matter. Of course I was spoiled by being stationed at a TRADOC post where the rules are a little more lax for my husband's rank. Its a smaller post (also a bad thing with the drama), great housing... I can't complain about much. It was an experience I would do over and over again. No regrets.

My Volunteer Work

I don't mind Volunteering as a matter of fact I am always trying to scheme up ways to volunteer. There is just never enough time. Sadly I haven't been able to volunteer with my daughters activities (class or girl scouts) because I always have to have William with me. Its something I have felt guilty about for awhile.
As a teenager I volunteered in a Homeless shelter in Atlanta for recovering Drug Addicts. I would volunteer to clean up the Atlanta Motor Speedway after a race (that is DISGUSTING!), I have volunteered to clean up rivers and creeks as a teenager. As an adult I have ran a mommy group since my oldest was 6 months old and Bella's Mommy Chat is 11 years old going strong :) Why do I consider this a volunteer activity because I believe I have helped many young mothers through the loneliness and difficulty of having a new baby. When I was in the thick of my "first life" I had Department Family and Children Services examining every move I made, They had me in a job program where I had to get a job, daycare assistance, Medicaid, Food Stamps, WIC, and Temporary Assistance for Needy Families. I have had all the assistance they can give me... the good and the bad. They believed I was doing volunteer work through Bella's Mommy Chat and PAID me until I had a regular paying job. I also volunteered at Tallatoona CAP to help Low Income families get heating costs met, medicines, and food. Once I became an Army Wife I did volunteer at Army Community Service. I didn't get to do much but I wanted to do so much more. I helped out with the Waiting Spouses. Waiting Spouses are those spouses who have husband's that are geographically separated. I was also like an FRG Leader/Point of Contact for my husband's MITT team. I was the go to girl for the whole Tennessee and Alabama area :)

I wish

There are many things I wish for.. I wish that Scientist and doctors had more of a knowledge and could answer more questions about Autism and other disorders on the spectrum. Not what is happening with DSM-5 proposal to eliminate all other disorders's on the spectrum and just keep treating and diagnosing the very classic Autistic children and adults. I would wish for a cure for Autism or at least a treatment. I would wish for an end and cure to Childhood Cancer. I would wish for an end to child abuse, sexual abuse, and domestic violence. I would wish for an end to end the suffering of our troops and their families. For all their sacrifice that is the last thing they should have to do is suffer through whatever ail's them. Homelessness, Mental Illness, Suicide, Loss of Limb, PTSD, etc...I would wish for more peace, understanding and compassion in the world.

I don't know if I could honestly say that if I had one wish I would wish anything above would actually happen. I would have to say if I had one wish that I would be tempted to wish that Mackenzie would have never left my side that he would have never had to suffer through the loss of a parent (or both parents). I would wish Mackenzie home. I would wish that if I could I would wish I could bring him home. Its terribly selfish but it is what it is.

I write..

I write because:

I write because most of the time it comes naturally to me.

I have written in one form or another since I was little.

I write because I have forgotten things I would have liked to have recorded in some way and shared perhaps only with Mackenzie. I write to record thoughts, feelings, events, pictures... etc.

I write for my children to share about their childhood unfortunately its the good and bad.

I write for Mackenzie for all of the time he missed and everything I want to share with him. I write for Mackenzie.

I have had a blog since my old life. I remember my first blog on Livejournal. Its still there 

I have used Yahoo 360, Myspace, Xanga, Open Diary and other pages.  Look here

I blogged then to vent I am sure my friends were tired of  me nagging about one ex or another.

I still vent on my blog but I try not to get as deep as I used to. I wonder if that's why my comments and views went down since I became an Army Wife. 

I have a blog to write my experiences as a wife, daughter, sister, friend, Army Wife, Army Mom, and mother to kids of all different ages. I write as my experiences dealing with Aspergers. I write with my experiences in my journey as being a spouse and step mom to someone in the Military. I write for those of who've dealt with depression or mental illness or any illness at all. I have. I have overcome challenges. I defy odds.  I write for you if you can relate to being a widow, a new mom, a military wife, a military mom, I write for you.

I write because its an outlet. Its an outlet for me to express myself without laying my crazy head on some one's shoulder. I am very well aware that I am a lot to handle. The pure number of therapists and their exasperation at me wasn't my first hint. Very little people can handle all this so at least as I lay it out in a blog its in bits and pieces and you can tune me out, X out of my blog, and never come back. But I want you to come back. I love comments and feedback for the good and the bad (just not too bad okay?) I write for me.

I write because I am an emotional person. I am a talkative person. Its therapeutic for me to write.

Its therapeutic if I can read what I wrote and remember everything about that moment. There is comfort in my blog. In my home away from home

I write for the memories. Memories fade especially as you get to be elderly or you loose childhood memories as you grow so I write for my future self. I write for Alex, James, Skylar, Rick, and William.

I write because I have met many people over the years in my Mommy Support Group online and they like to hear about things I might forget to email. A lot of us have moved on from the email groups because our kids are growing up, we have started working, gotten busy or whatever the reason. Thanks to Facebook and my blog they still have a view into my life. I write for my Online Friends and Family. I write for my Mommy Group Friends.

I wrote while my husband was deployed so encase I didn't get to talk to him on the phone or I forgot to tell him something I would write and rant about my day to day on my blog as long as it wasn't too personal. I write for my husband. After all I owe my blog for introducing us ;)

I write because we are a military family. Being a military family the best way to share what is going on in my world with my extended family spread all out is to share it on my blog. I wish my mom had internet and a computer.. maybe soon. I write for Rick's family and my family.

I write because I wouldn't remember my cat's birthday's LOL. I blogged about when we got Tinker Bell and when we got Mittens.

I write on a blog because paper is too easily destroyed, misplaced, or worse. When I wrote things down in high school and middle school I used a special type of Five Star Notebook with the spiral on top. Do I have those now? No I wish I did even though my poems are probably embarrassing it was me at 15 & 16. I have been published I don't have any of that either. I write this because things are lost and forgotten.

I write this blog to inspire. Perhaps a new military wife will read this blog and realize she has the strength to survive a hard deployment. A single mom has the fight of fight left in her. A lost Christian can find their way back. A widow will learn it doesn't heal but it does get easier. I write to a mother who has lost her husband or her child as I have and just tell her to hold on. If I can educate one person with my experiences my blog has done what I want it to. I have survived child abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, I've been widowed, lost the rights to my child, and I can survive two deployments! Go me! I write this blog to spread laughter. I am no comedian but I am sure something my kids have done is funny or perhaps a funny story or graphic made you smile.

I write on StormyAries Creations http://stormyariescreations.blogspot.com/ to show off. To teach. To keep track of what I do and what I create. To list ideas. To try new ideas. Its my creative side.

I write because its who I am.

My Life As a Military Wife

I am a guest blogger for a blog called My Life As a Military Wife here
I used an old blog I had written awhile back. So give me love... give me feedback. Is there any issues I should blog about? or take on?

Books that make an impact

You know I was raised in a church. When I was living with my mom she would load my sisters and I up on a bus and we would go to Pinecrest Baptist Church in Morrow, GA. When I lived with my Guardian I went to church every Sunday that I can remember to Trinity United Church of Christ/ Trinity Community Church. I even went during the week to choir, to youth group, to do the Newsletter, to volunteer. I was at church a lot. But on my journey of learning my faith I've had to learn on my own. I have had to follow my own road. My relationship with my spiritual faith is a very personal, deep, faith. Its unlike any of yours.

So how did the Bible and Gianna impact my life? Well obviously when you attend church you learn about stories in the bible, the history, the future, what God wants for us... etc. That's the easy part to explain. Gianna if your a reader you know I've mentioned that book at least two times. Gianna impacted my life because she is a deeply spiritual woman who didn't let life's challenges or her "deck of cards" change her. I have learned about my own faith through this strong woman. Its been awhile since I read the book but to paraphrase she is asked how do you deal with your issues? She said I give it to God. I wasn't sure what she meant when I read the book. Through my own challenges of life I had to learn it myself. I have posted about my journey in Jesus Take The Wheel

Other posts on Gianna:

Book I've Read That Changed My Views On Something

Giving it to God My Journey

What's My Favorite Book and Why

I read this book shortly after I married Rick. The stories in the book put things in a perspective for me that helped me through my deployment. I had to remember what it would have been like for wives of both the World Wars. How extremely HARD it was for Vietnam and Korean wives because their husbands were fighting in unfavorable wars. Unfavorable like Iraq but the Soldiers and Wives didn't get near the lack of support as the Vietnam Wives and Military Men got. I wasn't a whiny mess during deployment. My world didn't fall apart. I raised two kids on my own with little help from my husband. Sure it was nice to be able to speak to him and get money and its different than being a single mom trust me I've been there to but its

 un-explainable and it differs from couple to couple. Was it the book that helped me? I am not sure but it did give me perspective and showed me even a Military Wife was special.

Adult Bullying

 
So We're All Sensitive Military Wives Huh?<~~ Read this post then come back here for a vent...
There are four videos at the bottom of the blog :)

Then check out the Overly Sensitive Military Wife page to see if I am posted on there haha!

I agree with this post 110%. With everything that is out there right now about bullying. I think this type of activity and the same type of activity on http://youarenotaphotographer.com/ or their sister site http://youarenotagraphicdesigner.com/ is breeding bullying. The people that think this is "cute" could possibly condone their own children bullying others. To them it may not be bullying when their child snatches another toy from a kid at the playground or on a play date. Not teaching your child to share or manners is condoning bullying. So yes these three sites are in my opinion Cyber Stalking and Bullying. I just LOVE that NOT! I think all three of these website/blogs are demeaning. I personally don't have an expensive DSLR camera I have a tiny pitiful point and shoot. So I am not trying to impersonate a photographer. Well I guess because this new photographer only charged me $25 that means she is a phoney photographer that she doesn't have talent. So wait?? If you don't charge a buttload of money then you must not be the next Anne Geddes, Kim Anderson, Ansel Adams? EXCUSE ME! I think there is enough bullies in our world without certain people to be tearing other people down. I think adults who act like this are the ones who raise bullies themselves.

If I do get a DSLR from Santa this year I will not be a professional or even semi professional photographer that's NOT what I am trying to do. Btw that webpage makes fun of Military wives who choose to try and make a living off of photography when let me tell you what its hard enough for Military Wives to keep a career when we are supporting our man. So they can CHILL out. I think by getting a DSLR and offering inexpensive services they may not be a professional but maybe someone DOES like their work and is willing to pay for it. Maybe they can improve and become a talented photographer. Why tear that down because I can't afford to go pay a $200 sitting fee? If there is a military wife (or civilian lady) out there with a DSLR and a fan page, photography blog that wants to aspire to become Anne Geddes why must people tear her dreams down? Its a free country. She may not have taken Photography classes but I've been told by high priced photographers that you don't have to they would rather you not waste your money on expensive classes there is too much free information out there in books and on youtube on how to correctly use your Camera and software even for Point and Shoots. You may have your fancy DSLR camera and want to grow and learn. So your like how a Private is in the US Army he isn't ready to lead, fire a gun, or save a life yet and your not ready to shoot pictures for the White House but could you one day be a General or a Highly Paid Photographer for New York Times YES you can! Whether your doing it on your own or you work at Sears. You GO girl!

Now for the Overly Sensitive Military Wife. I was called that pretty much on that second webpage link up there. I have a ACU hand bag (actually two!) I wear Army Sweatshirts, T-shirts and even a sweat suit. I wear my husbands PT shirt to bed (NOT outside) and I don't wear his uniform. Oh yeah and my car shows my pride too so that makes me overly sensitive. I think the people who contribute to Overly Sensitive Military Wives Facebook page, You are not a Photographer, You are not a graphic designer need to mind their own damn business.

In the past few months I have had my work basically made out to be trash when the people who were trashing my work (I do graphic design) I have been doing it longer than most of them have been out of high school. I deleted my professional page just because I can offer my services, I have a blog, word of mouth can get me business but all be damned if I catch my work on YOU ARE NOT A GRAPHIC DESIGNER to be bullied by immature idiotic adults.

My definition of an Overly Sensitive Military Wife is the one's who whine their husband is in the field, has duty, is on their millionth deployment. Its all PART of their job. An Overly Sensitive Military Wife whines the military comes before them. Yes its a sacrifice and it sucks. My husband did it for 24 years and my son did it for 4 more years. I am sorry your husband (husband of an Overly Sensitive Military Wife) missed your birthday and didn't get to call you when you had a bad day but so and so's husband didn't come home from Iraq or Afghanistan at all. There are over 3,000 of those! I am sorry that you had a Migraine yesterday but so and so had to have her entire pregnancy without her husband and give birth on her own. THAT my dear is an overly sensitive military wife!

May 2009

Your Military Man

You know you're a military lover when ...

1. Your cellphone is always in view.

2. You're an expert in the culinary field of which baked goods have the longest staying power.

3. You've mastered the smile and nod technique after countless dinners with his military buddies where the only time they involve you in conversation is to ask how the kids are doing or how your job is.

4. At one point or another, you've made a list of things to tell your sweetie the next time he calls during a long deployment.

5. You know the difference between an APO and an FOB.

6. Your home looks like it's decorated for July 4 year-round.

7. If your state doesn't sell alcohol on Sundays, you're not worried because you can always get it from the local PX (it's the Army's miniature version of Target).

8. You don't think twice looking at a military time format.

9. Your neighbors think you're cheating on your guy with the mailman because you get so excited to see him every day.

10. You find comfort knowing you can overpack for vacation since your man is used to carrying a muchheavier rucksack around in hell-like temperatures.

11. You can't watch Dear John without crying at least five times.

12. The people at the post office know you by your first name.

13. You have an urge to talk to every single man or woman you see in uniform.

14. You wish they made cuter military bumper stickers so you could brag to the driver unnecessarily tailgating you during rush hour.

15. Hearing your girlfriend complain about her significant other leaving for the weekend makes you want to shake her uncontrollably (with love, of course).

16. You understand the importance of physical fitness, mostly because your man will be a cranky mess if you don't give him time to hit the gym.

17. You don't think twice about going to family dinner (with his family) when he's not around.

18. Hello homecoming! You know exactly which of your coats you look the thinnest in, and have shopped one-too-many times for the perfect accessories to go with it.

19. You can tell whether he's having a good or a bad day by the way he says hello on the phone.

20. You can proudly say you're a better woman because of your soldier.

What's your favorite thing about your military man?

http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/128679/20_signs_you_love_someone

Military Monday

I just got a book I ordered called Military Love Loving You From A Distance. I read the first paragraph and I loved it... so I thought I would share...

The love of my life is a hero. He doesn't wear a cape but he models cammies every day. He doesn't rock the newest designer shoes but instead he laces up his combat boots no matter how uncomfortable they are. He doesn't have the newest hair style because he has regulations he has to abide by daily. He has to wake up before sunrise so he could go to PT than he endures a long day at work. He signed up to ensure that freedom of speech never gets belittled. Sometimes with that freedom he is protecting, people speak words of disrespect towards him. He has to leave home to fight a war he was not sure if he believed in. ...

I just thought it was touching and beautiful as well as the rest of the introduction. The book is entries of different military love stories. I am on love story #4.  Not every story is for me but so far I like this book. I belong to a Facebook group called Military Love. Thats how I found out the book. Aparently when she started the group, she started a traveling notebook.. one got stolen, they were worn out and beaten so she decided the best way to do was virtually through an email address and she compiled all the stories into this book. Again the book is called Military Love: Loving You From A Distance and its by Samantha Rehder and the rest of the wives who submitted their stories. The book is available at Lulu.com and she also now has calendars out too!.

What's your military love story? Would you share it in a book?

My Military Love story is...Rick my husband was stationed in Korea and he was pretty bored so he was looking for blogs to read on Yahoo 360. He found my blog and started reading. I was writing about life, my bad relationship, my struggles with my ex and parent hood. He finally started leaving comments and so I read his blog too! The first comments came in December of 05. By the summer of 2006 it was time for him to leave Korea and he was being stationed in Alabama just 3/4 hours away! We begun to talk more in IM just platonic since I was in a relationship and he was trying to find his own love for a lifetime time of love. He was having problems with it and he would admit himself that he was in a destructive downward spiral. I wasn't handling things too well either. In December of 2006 he told he heard rumors he might deploy but not to worry too much because it would probably be to the green zone. I DID worry. I have friends and family that have deployed and I have never worried so much as I did this stranger... I only knew Rick virtually. I spoke to my two best friends Kristin and Olenka about what was going on and showed them the emails and I was at the point of ending my relationship. I asked for my mother for a loan to help me get my own place with my daughter and help me out. She told me to wait till after the holidays. My boyfriend was abusing xanax and alcohol. It was becoming more and more abusive and controlling. I wasn't getting hours at either of my two jobs. Things weren't well. I went to stay with my sister for a few days just to get my head on things. This was about Martin Luther King Weekend. Rick had a four day weekend and decided we should meet. He thought maybe I could just house sit while he was deployed and get back on my own feet with no strings attached. No relationship.. I wasn't looking for anything but standing on my own two feet. Again I pleaded with Olenka and Kristin and they could tell I had already fallen even if I denied it. They said it was Kismet and I had to meet him or I would forever regret it.

We met that weekend and we planned on having dinner and just talking about the possiblity of me moving to Redstone with Skylar and house sitting. At the time he knew he had to leave his boys who were 19 & 20 alone but he thought htey could handle themselves and I would just be making sure that everything was okay while he was deployed. Crazy things happened that weekend that weren't what I planned dealing with police, my adopted mother, my ex boyfriend (we broke up before New Years Eve), and my sister. Things got out of hand and my daughter was in danger. I literally packed what I could carry and Rick called James and Alex and told them I was in a bad situation and he was bringing us home. Everything seemed meant to be and it was so wonderful we got married on Feburary 5th of the same year. Alex his oldest son left for boot camp a few days later and Rick left for training to join his MiTT Team in Kansas by July 22, 2007. He deployed to Taji Iraq October of 2007. Alex left for Korea for a year a few weeks later. He came back to Alabama to visit with James, Skylar & I before leaving for Korea after he graduated from AIT (Advanced Individual Training).

During my first deployment I learned so much about my marriage, my step sons, my own self and my daughters strength. I will never forget how I grew and how we grew as a couple that year. I hope we can get back to that.

Coming home on a 4 day weekend from Training Summer of 2007

R&R on our 1st Anniversary Feb 2008

Shortly after we met

Great Video

MilSpouse Friday Fill-In #33

Please link up at Wife of A Sailor

The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter. 
~Author Unknown



This week’s questions are:
1. During military separations (whether short or long) how do you keep yourself positive and motivated? submitted by Married/Single Parent
I keep myself busy. If your new or not in the Mil Community I am sure you've heard that more than once. Well its true for most of us. Before my husband deployed we established a schedule. HE MADE TIME and got leave to go over his pre-deployment stuff, establish me in a schedule.. play group, two story times, movies, ballet, gymnastics, swimming, and my Waiting Spouses group. I knew i couldn't fall apart in front of my then 4 year old. I pushed on. I just too busy to think about it. We went on vacations to see family and went on a marriage retreat. The marriage retreat was just a few weeks before he left for training in Kansas and that was kinda rough but there was little time to pout. I think the time he was gone we made more time for ourselves than we ever have and that kept my home fire burning. It was actually wonderful!


2. What is your favorite concert you have ever been to? submitted by Young but Not (Completely) Dumb
Actually I have been to two main stream concerts. Lynyrd Skynard in 2006 my boyfriend went psycho crazy and I left him there. I decided to take cover with the biker dudes until my sister got me. Then I went to the Army Concert Tour in 2008 and watched Kellie Pickler and Brad Paisley. I had to take Skylar my daughter since my husband was deployed and she eventually just got tired so we left right before Taylor was to come on stage. I pouted but I got over it and my friends met Taylor back stage.


3. What do you miss most about your “hometown”?  submitted by A Florida Girl and Her Soldier
I miss the people I grew up around, They are as much part of my family as my family is. I miss the past honestly a lot of things that were there like a mirage and are now grown since I am grown. My Grandfathers' farm which is now a large housing development, I miss the little fruit stand on the end of Tara Rd (I think) where she had Boiled Peanuts... I wonder if she is still there... I miss all the stuff there is to do in Atlanta and the history of Jonesboro. Home of Gone with the Wind, I miss wonderful Dean's BBQ... I haven't had BBQ I like since then! My family (except the guardians) have all but moved away so I can't just go back and visit them but I would like to visit my child hood friends and others!


4. If you could run in any race, which charity would you choose to support? submitted by Wookie & Co.
Oh geez there are so many I have been a big supporter (Yes I donate money) to Autism Speaks, St Judes, March of Dimes, Epilepsy Foundation, World Wildlife Fund, AIDS Atlanta, and Wounded Warrior Project and other great great ministry's out there to serve those who serve us!
5. You find out Willy Wonka is your father, what 3 course meal do you INSIST he create in that stick of gum?  submitted by A{muse}ing Mommy on a Pink Park Bench
Olive Garden Salad, Logans Steak cooked to Medium/Medium Rare with Skewer Veggies, Big Portabella Mushrooms, Grilled Shrimp, and the Applebee's Blonde Brownie with Maple Butter... I would be a smacker... you know those who chew gum like cows? That would be me LOL