No Mom Talk Monday ~ Communication Devices

Lets talk about communication and how its come to be...

Who uses email, Instant Messenger, Black Berry Messenger, Social Networking Sites, or Text Messaging?

I use everything but BBM (only because I don't have a Blackberry LOL)

Do you think Email has replaced REAL letter writing? When is the last time you wrote a letter? Sent an actual Thank You Note vs an email... even worse an informal email? What about E-vites vs Invites?

I am actually shocked as I am typing this that my spelling checker is triggering these electronic things that we use everyday. 

So what do you do when someone doesn't respond to your phone call? Do you leave a voice mail? Send a Text Message, or Instant Message? Or something else?

I had a friend that when I didn't answer my home number she would call my cell and then Rick's... then blow up my phone with text messages. Maybe I didn't answer my phone because I just didn't want to talk? Its not like what she had to say was life or death! When I moved I ended up never giving her my home number. Honestly though I never really answer my home phone and I screen the calls because 99% of them are for someone I don't know that seems to LIVE using my phone number for everything. I have even had people tell me I need to be home because they need to serve court papers to this person... that I don't know... that never EVER lived at this address. So lets get with it people its the 21st century... Phone numbers don't come with addresses.... they don't directly relate. Every time I move I can change my number.... So don't assume Natasha Gillespie lives here or her cousin Johnny and her sister...

So I get those calls all day long until 9 pm... Its a pain in the butt!

So what makes it okay to blow up someone's cell phone? Lets talk about etiquette..

Ok I get certain Instant Message to Cell phone providers only limit the amount of Texts to phone... But TRY to finish your thought in that amount of words (1)... Don't ask me one question before you ask me another (2) I am working on a response and you will freeze my phone... my high tech smart phone freezes.... okay that's BAD! Okay... so you freeze my phone and I have to restart it... then my text message program has to go through its issue of being in shock (LOL) and your bombing my cell phone before I can even access my menu for text messages and your saying... Hello? Are you there? Why didn't you respond? Hello? Well I guess your too busy to talk.... BYE... Okay I have told these people hey don't talk so fast your freezing my phone (even when I had an older simpler not so smart phone it was just as bad if not worse!) So don't be getting freaking rude because your keyboard on your computer you can type faster than I can AND your freezing my freaking phone. I can't respond if I am reading. So please remember when your on your keyboard I am on either my touch screen if I only have one hand free or a keyboard smaller than my fist... 

Conversations go like this 

**Them** What are you doing? **Me** I am shopping. **them** What are you buying? **Me** insert eye roll.... like I want to type my grocery list on my tiny keyboard... all awhile Rick is yelling at me for texting!

So lets talk Texting/Instant Message etiquette...

Ok first of all I am a mom I totally get pulled away from my computer because the frequency of hearing MOMMMMMMMM from three rooms away following a *crash* *bang*.... I am NOT going to respond to the last IM until I have the situation under control... NO I am not stopping to put my away message up either... But unless on the rare occasion I can't come back to my computer... I won't leave you hanging for a hour. 

Secondly I do occasionally leave my instant messengers on if I am in a hurry or something or they come on *shock* by themselves. I don't have a whole lot of people Instant Message me soooo I shouldn't come home to a million different people. My Facebook Instant Messenger STAYS off... I don't like to talk to strangers and there are.... some strangers on my page. I don't like Instant Messengers that are attached to webpages anyways. I just don't like it... 

Ok so those are my disclaimers...

When you IM me especially if it goes to my phone...

I regret giving you my number

KNOCK BEFORE YOU ENTER. Why don't we try to say. Hey are you busy? Are you available? I might just tell you I am busy... If I do... then just say okay talk to you later... It drives Rick CRAZY when we are having a family weekend and someone is bored at home because they don't go out on the weekends like we do and your bugging me.

Oh and I just might be at church where I turn my phone down low... I am NOT going to respond during church unless its an emergency.

BE BRIEF okay so the article on PCworld.com says to treat an IM/Text like a post card... get to the point etc. If you have more to say write an email or just call. Okay so its usually EASIER for me to Text/IM instead of talking on the phone because I always have a kid screaming at me. William is very tech savy and if he see's me on the phone he is going to want to talk to Daddy. So as for me I don't mind carrying on a conversation in an instant message and sometimes text but I MIGHT be busy... so inquire first... be polite if it takes me a minute to answer... Your texting or IMing my PHONE... 

KEEP IT CASUAL Electronic Communication isn't a replacement for Face to Face in Person Communication. If you need to say it... say it to their face. If its important or life changing. Don't be rude in general... Your a guest interrupting their real life remember you burn that bridge you might not be invited back. Lately I have people say the rudest things to me. I think did you really just say that? Are you trippin? Is there something mentally WRONG with you? 

Some people just need to stick to the How's the Weather? conversations... 

AVOID SLOPPY WRITING 

I got this in my inbox a few weeks ago on Facebook

hey im new to0o da army life.. n ii will b marrying my hunnybun next week.. n iii want to0o try n learn new things so if u dont miind can u help.. or give some ideas

Don't talk to me using this bad English.. Okay I admit I am bad about using jargon and short hand but I am not so bad that its every other word. I am not so lazy that I don't try to at least spell every word out and use the correct spelling in grammar. You won't see from me " How U B?" I type things out in my communications 99.9% of the time so it may take a little longer in response and I just generally don't tolerate Typo hell especially if your doing it on purpose... Ignorance is bliss so go live in it and leave me a long.

AWAY When my away message is up or its showing me offline.. Then you can leave me a message and say hey get back to me when you can (IF it goes to my phone then you might be lucky and respond with What's Up?) If I don't answer with my away message up its because I am AWAY from my keyboard, I am NOT at my computer, or I just don't want to talk to you.

Don't have a conversation with my away message. I will get back to you when I can. If I don't respond the the possibility is there you just don't SEE my away message. Its technology not perfection. If I don't respond to your text. Maybe I didn't get it but that could also mean I am driving. Don't text and drive.... It could mean I am busy, in the can, I don't have my phone attached to my butt, I am at the doctor, or I just don't want to talk to you ... Please try again later. Yes it is possible I have a life that doesn't involve your blessed presence. As I said before there are times when I forget to turn it on or its not working or I stepped away for what I thought would be a few seconds and it turned into 30... so it happens but on to my last point....

If you forget, don't use, don't know how to use, or just generally don't have the politeness to say goodbye....pfft!

So do you have one of those people that are in the middle of a conversation and they disappear? Not for like 10 minutes but for like an hour or longer? So your just going in your best cartoon voice over "Where did they go? Where did they go George?"

Or one of those people who seem to only want to talk when they want something or your busy and they interrupt what real life you have and then they disappear?

On one hand your relieved that they are out of your hair then you get annoyed they took that time away from you.

So I ask... How long do you wait after a break in conversation to resume whatever you were doing before hand? Or are you sitting there praying that whomever has left the keyboard will come back and remember they were in the middle of a conversation with you?

No Mom Talk Monday ~ Shopping

I lost contact with one of my best friends for almost a year... .damn technology and sickness. Well anyways when I talked to her again I found out she was six months pregnant and she had been unable to work. I said I will help you I got tons of boy clothes (she didn't know the sex of her baby) and I will start looking for unisex and girl stuff. I hit my favorite thrift store called Asbury (Everything that is clothing is a $1)... steals! Then Consignment sale season started and that is my biggest shopping spree twice a year. I have gathered up over three jumbo diaper boxes for her full of clothes. Two are unisex and one is all girl.. YEAH that's right she had a baby girl last Friday. Anyways we aren't talking about MY kids or HER kids either! But mommy and baby are doing well! We are going to talk about my favorite hobby... SHOPPING At the four consignment sales I went to I spent roughly 3.33 an item... on average. I did get an RC Wall-E Robot for $8, Leapster Two with Two games for $40... almost everything my kids need for Spring and Summer.. There is still a few things... Oops we aren't talking about KIDS here. No way! Anybody that has lived here for just a little while knows the Consignment Sales are DA STUFF! I didn't even go to the biggest one! I really enjoyed buying the tiny baby clothes that were all prissy since I probably will never get them for myself! It was so much fun! I could do it all the time.. Oh wait I have another friend due in the Fall... plenty of time to round up some wardrobe!

No Mom Talk Monday ~ Manners

Why is it when I talk about manners people say oh that must be a Southern Thing. When your rude to me I don't go around saying oh that must be a Yankee Thing! For those who don't know I was pretty much raised the core of my youth by someone who was born and raised in New York and New Jersey but very much had been a southern lady by the grace of God.  Why do manners have to be a southern thing? I don't get it. Maybe if I said Yes Ma'am in New York City to an elderly lady she wouldn't think our future had gone to hell in a hand basket. So why don't you try it! Maybe the world can start being a little southern... there is NOTHING wrong with it. I make it a point to note the name of the bagger, cashier, waiter, or someone who is providing a service for me. Mind my manners and say Thank You, Please, and Have a good day or weekend. Whatever. Don't you think they feel down beaten enough just doing that fairly if not all the way sucky job? Maybe they are going through a hard ship and need prayer.. So slow down your day a bit. Notice the girl sitting next to you and maybe help someone across the street. Its gonna be alright!

Now while we are on the subject of manners. Do you go around asking people to buy you stuff like they are loaded and have all this money to blow because you asked them to? It makes you look petty and jealous. You may envy my husband's 9-5 job (which is hardly 9-5), his paycheck, or my car, or my house. But at the same time I can envy (I am not the jealous type)...the fact that your close to your mother and family. I am not close to my extended family. I got great (most of the time) kids and a husband that helps because we are ALL we got... each other. You do what you have to do to survive.

Okay so a little refresher... on manners
1) Don't ask people to buy you stuff all the time.. They should be buying it because they want to. I don't know about you but when I feel like I talked someone into doing something for me I can't enjoy it as much as doing it for myself.  Begging isn't cute...
2) Don't ask people how much money they spend unless your just curious. Occasionally its all good and I don't mind bragging about my great deals but its really none of your business and its up to me whether or not I want to tell you. Bragging isn't cute always either.
3) Don't ask people how much they weigh... ugh... Anorexia anyone?
4) Don't ask people how much they make... I may have more money than you but I still got debt, I still got bills, I still have things to pay for and NO ONE else... pays my bills for me. I don't get any kind of government assistance or an allowance from mommy & daddy. I don't get Christmas gifts from family usually... So be thankful for what you do have because all of Americans DON'T GOT IT! They are still living in a fema trailer down in the 9th ward or they are that poor guy outside of Burger King yesterday with his face weathered, his clothes and skin dirty, talking to himself and making hand gestures... damn I should have bought him some food or something. He didn't ASK me for anything either!
5) Don't ask me why my kids do certain behaviors that you don't think are normal or that your PERFECT little brats don't do.. These are children raised by me and not you therefore they are going to act differently because I am different than you. I was raised with a different belief system, I have been through my trials  and only I have walked in my shoes. I still find it incredibly rude for someone to ask if my kids are spoiled. Yeah and so what? Don't compare my children to yours then complain when someone compares theirs to yours. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.