What Appliance Can I NOT Live Without

April 27th of 2011 We had a series (MULTIPLE) EF5 tornado's tear through our community. Houses & grocery stores were destroyed like bombs had gone off. The storms manage to damage huge power lines coming from the dam a hour away or a hour and a half away. Which made most of North Alabama without power except a small oasis of power called Athens. A couple of the bigger stores like Target and Publix got generators but many many gas stations and smaller stores didn't have generators. Many restaurants had gas stoves so they could still cook and they tried and just served $5 plates out their back door it was better than the food going to waste. Then small city of Athens, AL with a population of 21,000 was overwhelmed with people waiting in line for hours for bottled water, gas grills, charcoal, batteries, and gas. Cell phone and land line phone coverage was pretty much out. We had to live without power pretty much for about a week. We got power back a few days after Osama Bin Laden was killed. If I remember that was the day they announced it. So if you would have asked me a year ago what appliance could I not live without my answer would have been different. Now I would say I have lived without them all. The only thing I didn't have to do then was to hand wash clothes I went to Athens to wash clothes at the laundry mat. I could live without owning a washer I actually like going to the laundry mat. Thank God after all that destruction we had weeks of beautiful weather that had wonderful temps to be able to stay outside, grill out, open our windows for fresh air, and warm water by sunlight.

This was a Piggly Wiggly & Dollar General the survivors hid in the walk in Freezer

Anderson Hills 

Subdivision

A Funnel Cloud that was larger across than the four lane parkway (Memorial Parkway at Drake)

Another shot of some houses

My Eyes

As a child I had (still have) Lazy Eye or Amblyopia. I know I wore a patch for some time with glasses. I remember being on my Papa Bears farm who owned an extensive amount of land (okay so it seemed that way to me and I remember walking with my sisters and maybe some cousins in the wooded part of the back end of his farm. They were doing some logging (possibly my mom and Papa Bear) and while we were walking I dropped my glasses. But you know when you take off your glasses (or a hat) you still feel like its still there? I got back to my Mother and she noticed my glasses were gone. She gave me a tongue lashing (from what I remember) and told me to sit in the car. When they found my glasses they had been crushed by a truck. So I didn't have glasses from that point on. Either she refused to spend the money on them or couldn't afford them.

Of course at the age of ten I became ill in other ways and a woman ended up getting custody of me and I became the ward of the state. If you've been reading my blog or have known me for awhile this is "Helene". Anyways I went through several treatments for other problems and when I went to an ophthalmologist at Scottish Rite (Children's Healthcare of Atlanta) they said nothing else can be done but she has unique shaped pupils or irises.. I don't remember which but they are shaped like footballs more than they are round. I didn't have another eye exam until I was pregnant with my second child (my only daughter Skylar). I only had an eye exam then because I was dizzy a lot and my eye sight tended to be more blurry. They said it was the hormones from the pregnancy... um k...

I had been to the eye doctor for the first time in 8 years three weeks ago when my handsome little man poked me in the eye on February 21st.  My eye had never hurt so bad. I had a corneal abrasion. First day I had an eye patch and the ophthalmologist seemed concerned that my vision was limited due to my Lazy eye being the only eye I could use LOL. No matter what I would do (or the lens he would use) my eye never got stronger. It was almost as if the brain didn't know it was there. I could see letters but it was like I didn't know how to read. My brain wouldn't process it! How frustrating it was. The second day of my abrasion I had an eye patch, the third day I had a contact lens to serve as a band aid. By the third day I was a little bit better and by the fourth all seemed well. Until I was sitting unsuspecting on the potty and BAM he hit me in the eye with the end of a broom stick! Can mom please not get injured or can mom just get some privacy? It hurt  like hell for the rest of the day and then I was fine. Well a few days after that Little handsome *err* Mr Temper punched me... I got a new abrasion. Its not as bad as the first as far as discomfort, but worse than the second. Most of the times just irritating and at night it gets pretty tired and I have to just keep my eye closed with a cold compress. Did you know a regular cloth diaper (clean of course) makes an awesome compress? I have had eye migraines for about a week and two days, Where the pressure is on the back of my eye (I've never felt that before), I am also sensitive to light and movement... Except its not a headache like the traditional migraine just in my injured eye... for the JOY of it

 LOL. 

I had scheduled a regular eye exam after the first eye injury and tried to endure it today and my cornea is just too sensitive. Did you know your cornea replaces itself every 30 days? How miraculous our bodies work eh? From what he can see my injured eye has 20/20 almost more than perfect vision. My lazy eye has 20/40 which isn't horrible BUT it cannot be improved using glasses or contacts. Its not so much a problem seeing its a problem with the communication from eye to brain. It doesn't "get it". There is not much of a chance it can be improved and if I did patch my good eye long term then I would loose my independence and it would be harder for me to take care of the children, drive... etc. It would be impossible to read almost. During the first eye injury I was using Windows Magnifier to make things larger. It helped.... but it didn't work totally. I couldn't use it long term if I couldn't use the perfect, perfectly, injured eye.

Friend Makin Monday

here

 . .I have been on a friend hibernation during the winter. A lot of things happened in the fall that made me step back and say whoa I need to re evaluate. So I have been. I have been staying close to home and family. Luckily (haha) I have had a terrible cold/ Flu/ pneumonia something since November. So I CAN'T go gallivanting around spreading my germs especially if I am under the weather at that given moment. I just now started returning to church sitting away from the crowd etc. I feel so disconnected from my ladies at Playgroup and at church. I missed church dearly I just had to return. The consignment sales have returned and due to a fever I didn't get a chance to consign myself. Anyone in this area knows there are the big 4 consignments twice a year for kids clothes etc. I HATE doing it alone. I despise it but Rick gets in there and he shuts down, gets angry, gets short... I just can't deal with him when he is overwhelming like that and he makes no attempt at being there for me when I need him. This is one of the major times I wish I had a good girl friend to shop with, A good girl friend to hold William while I get my hair done (and I can hold her baby while she got hers done or something of that nature) you know what I mean? Am I the only female that craves that kind of relationship with another female? A female to do female things with that males hate to do no matter what? Its always been a very sensitive topic for me. Anyways since the fall and all the drama went down I have limited my association with a lot of people because of the drama and pain they put me through. I have been networking with some new ladies and talking to them on Facebook and whatever... I am liking the sound of a new group of women rolling off my tongue... Oh honey Stephanie had this idea that.. Michelle said ... I love that! So its a new me and a new change.

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1. Favorite things about Spring: Butterflies and life becoming a new again kinda like the scene from Bambi LOL

2. What I'm doing for Spring Break: I WANTED to go to Georgia but it looks like I am stuck at home.. not all true there are consignment sales that week LOL

3. Favorite Spring flower: Tulips, My Papa Bear had a field of tulips on his farm he owned when I was a child. Ever since then Tulips are the one thing guaranteed to make me smile. Its so sad they are only fresh and in bloom for so little a time. I love them and Daffodils so much I am motivated enough to dig up my flower beds and plant some Tulips in the Fall! So I can have them next spring. Oh and the hydrangea at the stores is making me want them SO badly so I might have to plant some of those too. I just gotta find my green thumb and some knowledge... Lets see how my Lilies and Irises survived the winter first lmao

4. Do you have a garden?  I have what was built with the house. A nice sized bed with two rows of shrubs and I have made a small bed on the side of the drive way for Irises and a small bed with a holly bush that badly needs trimmed I guess.. Like I said all this was here from the previous owner and probably the builder.

;

5. If so, what do you grow. I will know for sure it is Iris when they bloom. When I planted them last April they didn't look identical.

6. Do you do Spring cleaning? YES

7. What is your weather *really* like right now? {Just b/c it's "officially" spring, doesn't mean that it feels like it for some of you}

Cool spring temps, rain and tornado warnings... this week LOL maybe blizzard next!

8. Snapped any weather related photos lately? Share one with us! 

just my babies playing outdoors in the warm 60-70 degree sunshine

9. What's your favorite thing to do on a sunny afternoon?

play outside!

10. Favorite TV show right now?

It starts a new Season on Sunday Army Wives

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Pray for Me Monday

If your a friend of mine on Facebook you've seen me for the most part of last week sending out prayer requests for my friends son Dylan. Daddy is a Soldier currently deployed and Dylan is my sick dill pickle who doctors don't know why or what is wrong with him. Blessings for Brandee. Then another prayer request is for Ty Campbell who is my little cancer Warrior! I have been following his story a little while now and he is just the sweetest little boy. His mommy's blog is here 

other prayers are for my friends Jennifer and Chris back home in Calhoun who are due with a new baby that has had some hurdles. To all the men and women in the Military. God knows my prayers. He knows my struggles and I pray that I can take the most out of this sermon series we are hearing at church. Here is the first post of the series here. The second week is coming soon. The associate pastor did the sermon and he is harder for me to keep up with for some reason so I am going to review my notes and the online podcast here then I will post my blog. 

Go to Home Grown Families for more Prayers

The Mommy Matters

In a few weeks I am thinking about going to Calhoun this month to visit a friend who is due next month. Or do I just want to mail her the baby stuff I am giving her and wait till next month when I can actually see the little baby bean? On top of that there is so many mini vacations I would like to do this Summer and I am not sure how to make up my mind. I guess I need to price things and see what Rick thinks and how things pan out. Its hard to get away from home since James depends on Rick for a ride to work and well him getting his own license has been delayed due to his own actions. grr... Anyways so I am thinking of going to the Atlanta Zoo, Aquarium, and the World of Coke one weekend. I think going to the zoo would be fun! Maybe go camping at the Lake near Calhoun... Then we talked about last fall when we were visiting coming back to Daulphin Island since we weren't' there for recreation but we would like to see Gulf Shores and Daulphin Island. So how do you come about the decision to take a mini (or large scale) vacation?
Any suggestions?

Random Spatterings About Attachment Parenting

I don't know about you but I have read up on Attachment Parenting since right after I had my first born. I am not considered a crunchy mama but I LIKE crunchy mama's and fully respect them for their discipline and skills.

I read this article today on Celebrity Mayim Bialik. Its amazing that a working mother still feels so strongly about following Attachment Parenting practices. No one said you have to follow all the guidelines to be an AP mommy but some are such a beautiful wonderful thing. I look forward to reading more about her parenting and her blog on Todaymoms.com

I have a friend Brittany who writes her own blog (I wont' credit her unless she says its okay) but she is a good Crunchy Mama that has all the right stuff. She is studying now to become a Doula so other people might be able to achieve their dreams of this ONE aspect of Attachment parenting. Reading her blogs about Natural Child Birthing at home made me think about my own experiences. I don't feel secure enough to have a baby at home because of my history but I believe if you have a clean bill of health embrace God's given gift of your natural ability to birth your child without strings.. Who wants to be a puppet?

I did have my first two children in a state where home births are against the law or frowned upon but Midwives are allowed. Here in Alabama both are illegal. Midwives or Medwives for that matter. Now I don't have the facts but I am willing to be more OB's have c-sections here than natural unmedical assisted deliveries. How many mothers are offered pitocin or some other inducing technique? It just sounds horrible to me to intervene unless medically necessary. My first born was induced (even for just a few minutes), and I had IV Drugs as well as an Epidural but I did have him vaginally. So I am not against it but the support should be there. The knowledge should be there. I know of someone who has had three children with no epidural but she wasnt  encouraged to not induce and try more natural techniques. Am I the only one that see's a disconnect there? So I give props to people like Mayim Bialik and Ricki Lake.

I opened a people magazine and there was a small tid bit about a picture of a celebrity mom breastfeeding in a previous issue. Miranda Kerr was pictured breast feeding her infant son Flynn in the Feb 28, 2011 issue of People. Someone emailed the editors stating," This picture is disrespectful to all those who believe in a woman's right to breast-feed but don't want to see it!" another said "This crosses tehe line and makes mother/child bonding provocative." -- In response to those two say WHAT? A third person wrote "way to go, Miranda Kerr, for showing that breast-feeding is not only beautiful, but natural." 

Here is another article with the picture here .

Again I have formula fed my children but I wouldn't do it again unless I had to. Why did I formula feed? Because I didn't have the support around me that I needed to be successful at it. I didn't educate myself ENOUGH on the how to's and actually when I decided to wean William I am surprised I weaned him so fast (both I was unemotional about it for the most part and he took to his bottle and cup) I am so tired of Formula Feeding being the norm but not because of the lack of medical necessity. They choose to Formula Feed because its their choice.. okay....

That's just not how I roll LOL.. I would have given anything to be able to breast-feed Skylar & Mackenzie longer. 

Its often a source of topic in some of the groups I am in. Should everyone have to TRY to breast-feed? Why is it even a topic? Why should I person have to walk when we have really cool ways of getting around? Do you honestly want your butt kicked by someone who doesn't have the ability? Ugh.

Another topic I saw once was Co-Sleeping. The poster says it ruins marriages because you can't possibly have the same amount of intimacy. I think people especially parents need to get their head out of their bum... life isn't about adults anymore... the world now revolves around a mini helpless person. Babies are a gift. 

I co-slept with all three of my children till the time was right for them to go to their own beds.. each at a different time in their first two years of life. It hasn't even been a source of discussion between Rick and I lol. 

I don't get why AP is such a taboo. Its common sense parenting. 

Oh and for the record William my youngest who is almost 19 months old he is in love with breasts. He blows kisses at the bra's in the store and he looks down my shirt at times to make sure his Momma Honey is still there but he never wants to nurse lol. I don't think its perverted or sick I think its cute. Its been a source of love and nourishment for him why shouldn't he remember them so fondly. 

Military Monday Welcome Home Soldier

http://armywiveslives.com/category/military-mondays-carnival/ 

Job Well Done to you Jasper, and your wife Heather!

I met you and Heather in 2008 on Fourth of July through Betty. You were new to this life and in AIT here at Redstone for my husband's MOS. I think you two have had some trials from the starting line but you made it over your first major mountain and you can hug and give yourself a true pat on the back.

I am sure Austin, Jayden, and Dezaray are all glad to have you home.

I hope you adjust back at home on post.

Thank you so much!

http://armywiveslives.com/category/military-mondays-carnival/

which Dr Seuss Character am I?

Day 14 of the 30 Days of Truth. A Letter to a Hero that let me down

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Dear Helene,
Since I was young.. much younger I always felt like a responsibility a burden. Like you took care of me because I was sick and there was no one else. You felt you had to take care of me because it was the right thing to do. Like it is your guilt... When I turned 18 and started to live life for me and not under your roof. You basically told me hey your not my responsibility anymore your Martha's child. While Martha gave me the feeling that I was your responsibility. When I came into my own I felt motherless. I could understand the anger and hurt that Martha had. Living with you from the age of 10 till 18 I looked up to you a lot. You busted your ass, sacrificed time and effort. Lots of traveling, court dates, and doctors appointments and time in the hospital. The more Sherry was in the picture she became the favorite daughter. You would give her the little gifts and I felt jealousy and I didn't feel like your daughter. I called you mom... I introduced you as mom.. you introduced me as that girl you have custody of. I was the black sheep. I felt unwanted and I didn't feel I could ever make you, Duane, or Barbara proud of me. That's all I ever wanted from you guys is acceptance. Until one day I said why? I am sorry if that day became a disappointment for you. I am sorry if you felt like Duane and Sherry could never adopt because of how I effected their view of adopted children. I can't believe you actually said that to me. I can't believe you weren't supportive of the custody case with Mackenzie... not for MY sake but for the well being of Mackenzie. You turned your back on not only me but my children. Growing up from the age of 3 you WERE my hero. You WERE the wind beneath my wings I tried to show you the best way I could... But ultimately your out of my life now and you turned off the lights and locked the door on our relationship. Your not my kids Nana... Your closer to my sister than you are with me. I miss my family but I am not willing to be stabbed again and again by your disappointment in how I turned out when I did everything I could not to get disapproval. I can't give much more of myself and I don't plan on it. Because at the end of the day a Good Christian doesn't turn their back on family. A good Christian only lives to please God. I don't need your approval just my kids and God. At the end of the day... only I have to be happy with my life. When I become a foster parent I won't treat that child like oh this is the kid that lives with me... That child needs the same love and attention as other children probably MORE to make them feel reassured they are loved. At the end of the day I still tend to call you Mom because I know no other words. At the end of the day I always thought you were a Mother to me.

I've Learned

"I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life." I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn. I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
— Maya Angelou

Day 13 of the 30 Days of truth

Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
**This one was tough my favorite band is Age of Daze but I don't think a particular song has gotten me through tough times I just love their music*

Dear Mr. Allan.
I've been a fan for a long time. I have heard Man to Man and The One before the tough times hit. Tough times for you and for me. Your wife passed away in 2004 and the music you played and wrote during your time of recovery was from your soul. I think its important to be a good musician if you can sing from your soul. If you feel your music your fans will too. While I was down and in pain I was listening to See If I Care and Tough All Over. Some of the songs from those albums speak volumes of what my soul, my heart, my body, my mind want to scream. Your last three albums continue to speak to me. When i have a blue day I am sure to sing at least one of your songs and if my biography was based on lyrics they would be ones from your albums. That's why a lot of your songs are already on my blog soundtrack. Um I am not normally horrible at this letter writing stuff but as a fan of yours you truly play from your soul and it helps others make it one more day. Keep singing and writing... Your songs have soul, character, truth and meaning..

From a True Fan
Bella

What are Words-- Chris Medina

Day 13 Part Two..

Dear Chris Medina,
Its true your story about Juliana did strike a cord on winning America's hearts. Every good woman on earth deserves a man with your faith and devotion. Juliana must be a very special woman. But when I hear you perform you did send tingles down my spine. As the judges have said you sing from your heart and that's where your talent comes from. I am sure Juliana has helped make you the man you've come to be. The saying goes Behind every great man there's a great woman. I was heart broken when you were sent home. I laid in bed right after Idol and cried. I just said God has a bigger plan than we know. I hope he achieves his goal because a person with that type of soul deserves it. Then I thought to myself... what if I ever had the choice between death and watching Rick in a vegetative state or severely brain damaged... What would I choose? The fact that I couldn't choose and that it was a hard decision I just couldn't make. My thoughts that night gave me even more respect for you. Well the next night watching Idol seeing men go through that were more inconsistent than you were. I was angry seeing some of the others make it through. I am praying for you and praying for Juliana to make a full recovery so you can get married.

Sincerely
Kristy

Day 12 of the 30 Days of Truth -- Something you never get compliments on

No particular reason why I chose this caption from Will & Grace I just love her (it!)

Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

I don't really get complimented on my parenting style.. I don't know why?? I mean I am not mother of the year but I do sacrifice a lot and have always been attentive of Skylar. William is a daddy's boy. 

So I am not voted Mother of the year or Wife of the year... ha lol.
Hell I am probably not even a good step mother.

I don't really get compliments on my style.. LMAO I only WISH I could look stylish. I know what style looks like but don't know how to translate that to me. My buddy Kira took me out shopping once and gave me some ideas.. otherwise I look to fashion of the skinny bitches that don't look like me or have my size wallet Hollyhell. 
Publish PostFrom outsides people think my Mommy group I've been running for ten years is a big fat joke.. Its certainly not a joke to me and I would be lost without a few of those women. yet I still am told its unhealthy...

I am not complimenting on my gaming skills.. I consider this a good thing lol.

I am not complimented a whole lot on my photography.

I am definitely not a good house wife and never claimed to be. I am an organized mess. I love to be organized but my house can look pretty messy. I just don't have good time management.. yet I am hardly ever late... unless like today I couldn't find my car keys because everyone in the house had borrowed them. Then my CAR locked my keys, purse, phone etc INSIDE my car... I put my stuff down to run inside to grab William... and my car auto locked my keys.. So I almost made Rick late for his doctors appointment while he came to save his damsel in distress. I never claimed to be a neat freak. My oldest sister and adopted mom are OCD cleaners... I just don't get the point in making a bed every day? I think I need Flylady to save me... 

I am not complimented on my driving aside from James. I learned to drive at the age of 27 just moments before Rick deployed and I swear I got a pity vote and got my license because she knew he was deploying and I promised her I would only go to the Commissary and PX (sorry I lied!) My friend Pegan thinks I drive like a Grandma but she is proud of her lead foot LOL. I get easily anxious in a car because it is one of my biggest fears after knowing several people die in car Accidents plus several of my own mishaps LOL... 3 hours after I got my learners permit in Calhoun. I was driving the wrong way in the Wal-mart parking lot and plowed my Oldsmobile Cera into a Dodge Ram. Of course you couldn't see any damage on that jacked up 3 month old Dodge Ram (even if there was $8K) but there was a hole above my head light all the way down the side board of my car... What's that called? Then when I got my drivers license. Rick was in KS in training and I swipped a car in the Commissary parking lot not a lot of damage to either car. It was my bad I admit.. I was trying to avoid the Case Lot Sale Tent behind me and I am not too confident on my handling and vision. Oh yes and lets not forget me totaling the Green Machine in October 07 just weeks after Rick had boots in the ground... but I haven't had anything since then... except I hit one curb texting while driving on post near Magnolia Circle... NOW I don't text or talk while I drive unless its an emergency! 

I could probably tell you 101 things I am not complimented on... my weight gain since William, my scars all over my body, my facebook skills lolz, My spanish or lack there of, my hair, my skin, my double chin, my extended family, my college degree that I don't have LOL.. but I have a great pair of shoes on and the cutest purse!

Day 11 of the 30 DOT.. Like a Good Neighbor...

ay 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

Like a Good Neighbor State Farm is there....


I have gotten compliments on my outlook on life for most of my life. Its awkward being in school and the teacher says she looks up to you. For my LJHS crowd do you remember the sub that was a light skinned black woman that dyed her hair a sandy blonde? But the same compliment comes up a lot today. I am told I am strong.. WTH? I AM? Shoot if you call this strong... then you need help lmao. I was told by one of the therapist I have been to.. you mean all this happens to you and you are Anti Drug and you don't like alcohol? Yes I am anti drug I always have been, No I don't like alcohol aside from the occasional glass of Wine or Long Island Ice tea that I usually take a few sips and give the rest of it to James even though I have diluted it so bad with Soda you wouldn't be able to taste the alcohol! AND I quit smoking Cold Turkey in October 08... LOL Cause thats my form of crazy bat shit... and that's how I roll. I don't pop Xanax to get me through it either... I just hit my knees and listen to my music... and do this little thing.. Blogging. So my motto in life is.. Quit bitching and do something about it! You have no one but yourself to blame for your mistakes. TRUST ME! I've been through a lot of crap in my childhood and I could blame my drug addiction on my mother, alcoholism on my mother and father.. oh wait... I am not a drug addict or alcoholic even if I am predetermined and exposed to those gene's... I am emotional.. very emotional. I always have been. I love too deep and too fast. I am loyal even if it kills me and trust me its came close.. If you have my heart your a fucking lucky person I am tellin you.

I am complimented on my thoughtfulness. Yes I remember that my High School Friend Suzan is afraid of.. well it starts with a S and its creepy crawly!... Melissa B loves Frogs and has since High School. I remember weird shit. I remember where i was and how the significance of a song in my life is. To just tell you about my memory I was 3-4 when I lived in a house in Hampton, Ga and I was giving Rick the Audio tour of the house...I could probably lead you blind folded in every house I have lived in since I was 3. I remember a lot of likes and dislikes that my friends have. I remember when Alicia who was my best friend at my earliest of forever we love the movie Beaches and she had a crush on Billie Joe Armstrong from Greenday. I remember when Jake Johnson at the age of 5 sang shameless and it was AMAZING! I remember these things. When I am out shopping.. because I am addicted I don't always buy for myself matter of fact I rarely do.. I say hey so and so would love that and I pick it up for them.

My neighbor across the street, I can't even tell you her name.. She is a school teacher, she has a toddler little girl, and she is married... had a baby boy not to long ago and I had formula cans samples, baby food, and some newborn diapers...

I have been called the queen of Google.. If you need something I can probably HELP you find it. I have saved alot of crap from my Paint Shop Pro Files, Digital Scrapbooking, Music.. whatever I have a lot... I am the queen of useless knowledge. Did you know the confetti thrown out in Times Square on New Years Eve has a message written on it and it could be from YOU? Did you know you can own a square foot of Scotland? How about adopting your own star? I did those for Christmas gifts one year LOL So a person I used to hang out with called me the queen of useless knowledge. LOL I swear sometimes people just ask me questions because my brain retains so much CRAP...

Physical features? I would have to say my eyes. They are large and odd shaped. Years ago when I worked at Pizza K in Marietta. I had a customer come in and ask if my eyes were surgically enhanced. I was like um? Is that a compliment or what? My kiddos all have my eyes of different shades of color :)

Its just what I do...

30 Days of Truth Day 10 Someone you need to let go or wish you didn't know

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
I am not going to name any names in this post because I suppose that would just be cruel or something. If I were ready to let this person or people go then I would. Over the past 6 months I have had to let go of a few people. It was EXTREMELY hard. It has become an intensive topic through therapy for years. My need to be bluntly honest with people but at the same time when someone is giving me grief or just not doing me right I can't say hey... that's not kosher... I have a problem sticking up for myself I guess. I don't take shit from strangers or people I am in a romantic relationship with but if your my friend I just deal with the bad and plead for something good. Even if the friendship is poisonous and self serving to the other person. I tend to land myself in unhealthy relationships. I couldn't define a good relationship I have been in. I treasure the relationship I had with my Grandfather but that is about it. Most other relationships I am in have their own poison. There is someone in my life over the past 6 months I have been teased, gossiped about, talked about behind my back, used, and the occasional oh hey there you do exist..

Then there is a person that I probably am unhealthy for HER not the other way around. She has her own issues and I just don't tolerate them well. I think she's not too bright and seeks attention. A few people just tend to whine more than be positive. I may bitch a lot about my life too but nothing gets me down for long. I mean hello here I am with 10% of my vision typing this post to you. My eye hurts like freaking hell but I am not boohooing about it. I wish I had oral medication for pain and I am probably abusing my motrin bottle this week. I will pay for that later. But I am here. I am not laying on my back crying about why me... I am bigger than that. God has bigger things for me to deal with. I don't need to boohoo about the why so and so doesn't like me, why can't she or he just be honest with me and tell me what's on their mind. But that's not a ME problem its a THEM problem if they can't be honest with themselves about why they gossip and why they have the waahhhmbulance. I am a big girl and I put my big girl panties on and I am dealing with it!

People can judge me because most of my online friendships I haven't met yet we have remained friends since I can remember. Some are as deep as ten years. Nothing is fake or topical with them. They were there for the late night scared to death phone calls when I was being beaten, the ones from the homeless shelter, the one when my own family walked out. Some true I have never met them but I know all about them as they do me! Some of my online friends would give me away at my wedding yet my real life friends I can not even depend on to show up. Judge all you want!