The Misadventures of Bella's second life- a chapter about Autism

I admit I used to blog more regularly but over there years I have come to realize the impact blogging about the family has on my adult step children and now all my children are old enough to read and understand my blogs. Its out there for their friends to read as well. 

With that being said I specifically asked my 9 year old if I could write a blog about our Autism journey and he said its okay. 

Today I was told that my son's need for routine isn't healthy. That in adulthood/society wouldn't allow for concessions for people like William.

First of all most human's thrive on routine period. Most adults would get upset and throw a fit if their check didn't come in when they expected it, When a service wasn't provided of anything, Who doesn't have issues when they are late and stuck in traffic? Hmm? 

Secondly what is different about a person that can't walk and they get a handicap sticker and special parking spot. A person who uses a wheel chair gets a wheelchair ramp. A person that is vision impaired gets braille and sign language. A person that has a hearing impairment gets an interpreter. What is so different about Autism? Because its a disorder that cannot be seen?

Yes William can get concessions because its called the American with Disabilities act.

The thing holding back society is the need for conforming instead of embraces differences. Before the 70's a handicap parking space or sticker was rare. Before Helen Keller there was little done about blind and mute people. We are not cogs in a machine the world needs free thinkers not closed minds.

So why CAN'T people do the same for disabilities that cannot be seen. William's disability will never go away. A need for routine is VERY common with someone on the spectrum.

So until that day that people aren't close minded about disorders or disabilities I will continue to be the voice and advocate for Autism and my son.

  

Country Christmas

I had a vision for the past few years of getting a pretty country quilt and going out to a piece of land that has the big rolls of hay...and have the backdrop of what is so beautiful around here mountains and our tree's.. The clouds and sky are also unique to me..

In 2011 I was working with an awesome photographer for all our family photos. We had paid and scheduled a country vintage photo shoot.. We had bought our outfits and then a tragedy struck.. our area was hit by a series of tornados that is rare nationwide.. So the photo shoot was off.. Since then I had the idea for the roll of hay but never got the money or area to do it in.. I don't have a DSLR camera myself either.

I was lucky to find William a pair of overalls just like my grandfather would wear. Overalls for my son's size are hard to find apparently. I actually needed them for Johnny Appleseed day and someone on a yard sale page answer my request and they happened to be just like my grandfather used to wear. They were a smaller size so I just prayed they fit. They fit perfect so he wore them for Johnny Appleseed.. I was under even more pressure to get that picture done but its been cold or rainy for the most part. Its been very all over the place impossible to schedule an outdoor appointment.

I figured Skylar already had some country styled dresses I know one I bought for her birthday. I remember that a friend had pictures done JCPenny that had a bit of a country western theme.. So I called JcPenny and they had a bit of country theme but they told me the Christmas tree was up to stay.. I was like shoot. Then I saw groupon so I decided there was no time like the present to jump. I would make do with angling the Christmas tree out since we didn't get Christmas church clothes this year and William's Christmas Pajamas have also not been easy to get my hands on.

I was talking to my cousin and she said she never remembers Papa Bear (my grandfather) out of overalls I vaguely remember one time going to church with Papa Bear and Nanny on Easter Sunday and I don't think he was wearing his signature overalls but perhaps a crisp button down and slacks.

This is the only picture I have of Papa Bear (and my horse Nugget)

We went to get ready and Skylar tells me she outgrew her dress... and two dresses.. I was so frustrated and couldn't find William's button down. William's boots would go on his feet but they were really tight. Skylar also didn't want to wear her boots. I spent 45 minutes getting the kids ready I didn't have time to get myself ready or hair and make up done nothing. I was so frustrated ready to cancel the appointment with Rick being sick anyways. Rick and Skylar still wanted to go so I was like whatever.. It has been years since we've gotten our picture done.  Make do with what we got and how we look.. whatever..

We got our pictures done then walked around the mall. An elderly woman walked up to William she started to get visibly emotional. She told William how adorable he was. She said little boys don't wear overalls anymore but her grandfather always wore overalls every day of his life. He was even buried in them. Rick told her that's the reason why I chose the overalls as well because my grandfather wearing his. Just an interesting encounter. It seemed to move her that William was in them.

Not My ..... Monday

The blog meme was made by www.mycharmingkids.net but she no longer hosts the meme but I liked it :)

So I survived Black Friday shopping. Cats needed liter. So we went to Petco and got cat treats and liter.. They gave us a free $20 Shutterfly gift card. So while we were at that strip mall. I walked next door to the dollar store just to look around. Ended up buying stockings and a roll of wrapping paper. Nothing exciting. Then I wanted to look at Ross because a good bit of people on Facebook have been bragging about their American Girl finds at Ross, TJ Maxx, and Marshalls.. Nothing at my Ross :/ But I did find some prospects to get Cocoa's outdoor house through the winter I will have to go back in a few days and buy them. I went into Target to get a magic eraser... Then home we went. Well while going into the dollar store... there was a family approaching us so I asked William to hold the door for them. He was holding the door open but as the family got closer he ran away and back into my arms I apologized to the family and she jokingly said, "Chivalry is dead?" I said well in training we have a long way to go LOL :)

Tonka Truck

Did you ever have those metal Tonka trucks you would play with? I remember them being outside and playing with them in the sandbox and they would rust but still be very usable. The thing never seemed to break..

Well I call William my Tonka Truck. He's also been nicknamed Bubby, Destroyer of Worlds (and eyeballs), ER baby-- you know how many times do we rush to the ER for this kid? Actually we've only made it to the ER twice. Once when his fever was high but got to the parking lot and the pediatrician told me to go home- after all what can they do for a fever? I never liked that answer but that's what she said. The other time when he was in his space saver high chair and he would put his feet up on the table and tipped himself back while buckled in and some how his head hit the hard wood floor. He nearly had a concussion.. Got him home and then he started showing more symptoms of a concussion so yeah for sure he probably had one.

had his feet kicked back like Obama on the edge of the table.

The school nurse called me today. My phone didn't ring for whatever reason. So I get a notification that I have a voice mail. The voice mail says they have William in the clinic to give her a call back hmm. I am trying to listen to my voice mail and Stephanie my friend beeped in to ask me a question. I guess she heard the disconnect in my voice and I told her Mill Creek called and I was trying to listen to the voice mail. I call Rick and they hadn't called him either. So I called the nurse back and she said William was told twice during in class recess not to run in the building on the 3rd warning he bumped into a little boy holding a stick. I said okay. She said it barely scraped his eye but it was very close. He acted like it didn't really bother him so she packed it with ice and sent him back to class she would call me in half an hour when she went to retrieve the ice pack if anything changed. Well I had to check the kids out an hour after this so when I got there Skylar told me she saw William with an ice pack. I explained what happened and I said I don't want to know why there was a "stick" in the classroom LOL. The lady at the front desk so oh is he yours? I said yes. She said I was wondering about the stick too come to find out its not a stick its a plastic piece like for those builder things. I was like OOOH makes sense now...  Him and Skylar both have scrapes near their eye now. Skylar woke up with her's this morning. I am wondering if she had a run in with Tinker Bell in her sleep? LOL

If William is really not getting over a boo boo I know its serious. He usually cries enough to get a little comfort and then his world is too busy to dwell on it and he acts fine. He is a tough cookie! 

Wordless Wednesday

I haven't been taking pictures as much so I don't have much to share but maybe this Wordless Wednesday should be wordy Wednesday. We have made it a habit to go to the library nearly once (or more) a week. Sometimes TWO libraries. We live near our military post so we sometimes go there to change things up a bit. William my 5 year old even does reading therapy with a dog named Taka. 

This is a picture of William in the children's garden at the Madison City Library. 

Welcome 2014!

What a way to start out the new year... 

Monday William was burning up running a temperature and then he started to get a sick tummy.. I usually don't rush my little ones to the doctor since 99% of the time I hear Skylar has strep even though she rarely has symptoms and/or its just a virus it has to work its way out. But I was genuinely concerned and Rick said he would just feel better if I took William to the doctor so I did. He weighed just shy of 40 lbs and he had a 103 Temp. They swabbed him for influenza and strep throat. Strep came back positive. Poor Bubby was more still and quiet than he's been since the day before he was born. He slept almost all day with a small spurt of energy.. Anyone that knows William knows he has the energy of 4 - four year old boys. Yesterday he wasn't any better and for awhile we were really worried because the stomach got much worse and he had not gone potty. So we canceled the sitter (she is sick anyways) and just chose to stay in. It was also my husband +Richard Stevens  50th birthday. He ran to get take out from one of our favorite resturants and I ran to Publix to get birthday party supplies (cake, ice cream, birthday card, present, candles)... We had our own little party here at the house. Not the Steam Punk bash I had planned :( 

1/1/2014...

William is better. He only vomited this morning and has been holding down everything else. His fever finally broke after 3 days and he hasn't napped today. We've had a chill and lazy day. The kids playing Sims and Just Dance and just playing. Rick building his war game and me bouncing between things like the new American Girl Release of Isabelle, Sims, chores, and playing with the kids.

Fever Bugs showing a Normal temperature.

The first time I saw...

my youngest William they announced that he was 8 lbs 3 oz and I said are you sure you got the right baby? My last baby was barely 5 lbs. Because of the C-Section I didn't get to do his first bath or any of that but his Apgar was a lot better than Skylar's and it was a much better experience for me and the healing was awesome. I enjoyed watching Skylar with the baby that she wanted for so long. She is such a good big sister and Rick with a new baby to love. We really didn't have any adjustment problems. William was a nursing champ before he left the hospital but he only wanted one breast. We did great! I can't believe how big he is now. Almost 2½ now and copying everything and getting into everything. I can't blog about my first memories of seeing him or his older sister and brother because I wouldn't be able to explain the joy in my heart. What a miracle having a baby is!

William & Skylar

Skylar

Mack & Adam

I can't believe...

William likes the Three Stooges. He found them on Youtube and loves to watch them haha

William

William was looking outside in the hole in the blinds that Lightning made. I heard the garbage truck outside. I asked William if there was a truck and he kept saying bus. Bus.

Potty Training with William

Since he turned two I have been inconsistently just introducing him to his potty chair(s) and underwear. Just getting him used to the idea. I've spent some time outside when we had warmer weather in his underwear so he knew what "wet felt like". He has a potty chair on both levels of the house as well as the kind that sits on the big toilet. We've been asking him to sit and go potty (with and without getting undressed). We've even played shooting for cheerios. Rick takes him into the men's bathroom and William got curious about standing to pee. So he would lift up his shirt and pat his belly but he wasn't sure what came after that LOL. Over the past 5 months he's only went in the potty twice. I call it "Pre-Training".

Today I was researching and reading articles and I read maybe put big boy underwear of his choice over his pull up so he's been doing that all day and I've been asking through out the day if he has to sit on the potty or does he want to go potty with mommy and he always says "No" so I will do the same thing probably tomorrow until I get a yes or some curiosity out of him.

I might have to stock up on cloth pull ups. I am too afraid of going to straight underwear.
Shock and Aww

He loves my hair and his own!

I don't know what you would call it but when William wants comfort or wants to give comfort he rubs my hair. Its just a sign of love from him. I want to treasure it for always. I would love to do a scrapbook page but not sure of how to go about doing it so I can tell him about it when he is an adult. 

Rick and I went out and saw Breaking Dawn tonight and William went to his friend James house. James mom offered to baby sit. Which was very nice of her. I guess the boys were doing something cute right before we knocked bu as soon as William saw me he came up to me with his arms up stretched to be held and immediately his hands went into my hair. I have to admit here that since I was itty bitty one of the most relaxing things I enjoy is getting my head rubbed or my hair played with so perhaps I passed it down to my son. Rick enjoys it himself. William is different though he is very attached to his own hair. When he gets a hair cut he is rubbing his head for days and whimpers and cries like we took away his super power. He rubs his own head to go to sleep at night if I am not close enough for him to rub mine. I love this its so sweet and wish I could keep it like this way for a long time. My baby is growing up. He's officially a toddler

November 8th 2011

We left the house a little after 5:30 this morning. A long day ahead. Rick had to be at Crestwood by 6 am to have a kidney stone removed. William got bored, nervous, anxious, and scared for awhile. Especially when they called Rick back about 7:45- 8 am. It was like separation anxiety all over again. William was terrified when Rick left his sight even with me soothing him. He can be such a Daddy's boy. They took Rick to the back and had him put on the hospital gown then they gave him some IV fluids. We came back but the kids just got too crazy in the room so I said my see ya later's and gave him a kiss. We went to the Cafeteria for breakfast and ice cream and the kids were so behaved there. Then back up to the waiting room in the kids area and William was wanting to leave SO badly. He doesn't like the hospital at all. Even with Super Why on the TV, Netflix on his ITouch or Rick's IPhone, My IPhone, Crayons, Nintendo DS' and Coloring books with Crayons. Then two little girls came in the kids area. Aspen was between 1-2 years old and her older sister Jersey was about 3-4. They called the girls mom to the back and Jersey had the same reaction William had but her Father wasn't happy. Jersey cried for her mother. Her father said Do you need me to take you into the bathroom if you can't STOP CRYING!. He shook her and told her to stop crying. I moved out of the kid area right outside so I didn't have to be right there with them. But I couldn't leave because I was trying to keep William distracted. She started to whimper and started crying for her mommy again. Her father screamed at her You'd better stop crying your mom is having surgery there is nothing you can do for her. My heart broke for little Jersey. I wanted to say there is so much a child does for their mother you just don't know! She started to cry and her dad shook her again and told her that he was going to take her in the bathroom. I had to walk further away and fight back tears. If I felt violated how did Jersey feel? I am thankful my husband and I have a better way to discipline our children. That doesn't resort to threats and spankings in a public bathroom.
   The doctor called me to tell me Rick was out of surgery and that it would be about 45 minutes before he would wake up. So I just had to wait there for as long as I could stand fighting back tears. 30 minutes later I figured I could go get Rick's clothes out of the car. That would keep us busy and me away from that family.
After an hour we could finally go back into his room and get him.
    He's now resting upstairs in our room. They blasted his kidney stone and sucked out the fragments. They did have to put in a temporary stint :( Poor baby!

As for the discipline. I don't know if he was abusive but because of my history I can't bring myself to do that to my children or think in my head that it is okay to threaten your children when she had a reasonable reason to cry. It reminded me of being at a friends house babysitting her kids. Her 3 year old got out of bed and the room mate closed the hall way door and the girls bedroom door (with my child in the room) and paddled the 3 year old with Skylar present. I was speechless and had words with the father of the child. I try not to interfere with people's parenting or discipline but sometimes my heart just breaks and I have to look away. If I ever saw abuse... I wouldn't walk away though.

Deedle Deedle

For the first two years of Williams life we have had him sleeping in a crib in our room. Since right before his second birthday I decided to convert the crib and move it into his own room. Before we converted the crib we would put him in the crib and he would settle down and go to sleep. Since the conversion there has been more of a bedtime challenge. For the last month we or just one of us sits in his room or right outside the door. It's usually a lot of getting up to play, going into our room, or Skylar's or playing with his train table.
Tonight I went to the store to return the rented movies while Rick gave William a bath. I came in and William saw me. So I decided to help Rick get William down. Tonight didn't start no differently than another. We sat against the empty twin in Williams room (Alex's bed) for awhile. Then we left the room to "throw away the dirty diaper." While in my own room I caught William sneaking out of his a few times. Doing the Jo Frost method, I tuck him back in bed without a word. Like the fourth time he snuck out he came into our room with his head tucked between his shoulders, looked at us with grin and his big brown eyes. He had his hands close to his face. His expression could be explained like when someone talks about money. Rubbing his fingers against his thumb. Maybe to be explained like Gollum from LOTR when he says "my precious." William only said Deddle Deddle Deddle. I went to continue doing what I had been doing and taking him back to his bed. I reached the corner of my bed where he was just to collapse with the giggles. The next half an hour would be one thing to giggle after another. Rick thinks he was saying little more time.

William

William loves anything to do with Disney Pixar Cars. He doesn't have the attention span to watch the movies but he does like them. Why don't they make Disney cartoons like they used to? That might hold his attention. Instead we set this up on Rick's computer screen and at any given time William he will sit cross legged in front of the computer monitor and watch the trailer reel that goes continuously http://disney.go.com/cars/#/videos. Lately we showed him one of Skylar's favorite websites when she was in preschool called Poisson Rouge or Red Fish. http://www.poissonrouge.com/ He's getting quite smart about it. Then there is the Itouch. One year for Christmas we bought James an Itouch because we thought it had the best of all worlds pertaining to James... Apps, Music, Videos, Games, Drawing... etc. Rick and I thought we were being sneaky and also got one for each other without us knowing. Mine died first because it probably had a sippy cup contamination. Then Rick's was replaced twice and died as well so he had James Itouch (James got an Iphone less than a year later.) Now Rick who pretty much can't function without his other brain aka Iphone has given me James hand me down Itouch which I love to use for music and Words for Friends but I rarely use it and find myself keeping William entertained with it. He likes to use the preschool applications for puzzles and shape sorting and has mastered so many of them I have had to pay for the app instead of using the lite version LOL!

PS I get my Iphone so we don't have to worry about loosing the Itouch in a month

Getting Behind

William makes it difficult to do any sort of typing on the computer since he has an angry email or two he wants to write before I get to type anything, plus climbing on my desk, opening up my CD ROM thing... exiting out of what I am doing or going back to Google.com so he can see a picture of himself. So I have gotten behind on my blogging because the only time I have gotten to blog is while he is napping or sometimes at night if we aren't having family time which we really TRY to do. Evenings are just hectic in general around here.. Anyways. I am behind on my blogging, on my consignment, on my scrapbooking, on pretty much everything...

So I guess what I am going to try to do is squeeze in some blogging and save it as a draft for whatever day I want it to go out so I am not a blogging fool when he DOES take a two hour nap at the RIGHT time (like now is a great time) 8 am not so much 12 o'clock not the best time either... So I will do the meme's especially when I am inspired and have them preset to go out on the proper days. I hopefully wont suck so bad I won't forget to visit those who I've linked to. As for random blogs about daily life I will try to squeeze those in there when I can. *sigh*... oh AND I have missed two weeks of church and the sermons aren't posted online yet. EEK help me!

Oh and Rick bought me Sims Medieval for an early Birthday Present so I am going to be hooked on that for a little while.

William's firsts

I didn't mention in the last blog and I don't think I mentioned last week. Last Saturday (or was it Sunday) the family & I went out to Putt Putt. It was William's first time doing it and Skylar's REAL first time (she did it once before at a Glow in the Dark Course at the mall) and then this past Saturday we went bowling. So that was a first for William as well!

My Eyes

As a child I had (still have) Lazy Eye or Amblyopia. I know I wore a patch for some time with glasses. I remember being on my Papa Bears farm who owned an extensive amount of land (okay so it seemed that way to me and I remember walking with my sisters and maybe some cousins in the wooded part of the back end of his farm. They were doing some logging (possibly my mom and Papa Bear) and while we were walking I dropped my glasses. But you know when you take off your glasses (or a hat) you still feel like its still there? I got back to my Mother and she noticed my glasses were gone. She gave me a tongue lashing (from what I remember) and told me to sit in the car. When they found my glasses they had been crushed by a truck. So I didn't have glasses from that point on. Either she refused to spend the money on them or couldn't afford them.

Of course at the age of ten I became ill in other ways and a woman ended up getting custody of me and I became the ward of the state. If you've been reading my blog or have known me for awhile this is "Helene". Anyways I went through several treatments for other problems and when I went to an ophthalmologist at Scottish Rite (Children's Healthcare of Atlanta) they said nothing else can be done but she has unique shaped pupils or irises.. I don't remember which but they are shaped like footballs more than they are round. I didn't have another eye exam until I was pregnant with my second child (my only daughter Skylar). I only had an eye exam then because I was dizzy a lot and my eye sight tended to be more blurry. They said it was the hormones from the pregnancy... um k...

I had been to the eye doctor for the first time in 8 years three weeks ago when my handsome little man poked me in the eye on February 21st.  My eye had never hurt so bad. I had a corneal abrasion. First day I had an eye patch and the ophthalmologist seemed concerned that my vision was limited due to my Lazy eye being the only eye I could use LOL. No matter what I would do (or the lens he would use) my eye never got stronger. It was almost as if the brain didn't know it was there. I could see letters but it was like I didn't know how to read. My brain wouldn't process it! How frustrating it was. The second day of my abrasion I had an eye patch, the third day I had a contact lens to serve as a band aid. By the third day I was a little bit better and by the fourth all seemed well. Until I was sitting unsuspecting on the potty and BAM he hit me in the eye with the end of a broom stick! Can mom please not get injured or can mom just get some privacy? It hurt  like hell for the rest of the day and then I was fine. Well a few days after that Little handsome *err* Mr Temper punched me... I got a new abrasion. Its not as bad as the first as far as discomfort, but worse than the second. Most of the times just irritating and at night it gets pretty tired and I have to just keep my eye closed with a cold compress. Did you know a regular cloth diaper (clean of course) makes an awesome compress? I have had eye migraines for about a week and two days, Where the pressure is on the back of my eye (I've never felt that before), I am also sensitive to light and movement... Except its not a headache like the traditional migraine just in my injured eye... for the JOY of it

 LOL. 

I had scheduled a regular eye exam after the first eye injury and tried to endure it today and my cornea is just too sensitive. Did you know your cornea replaces itself every 30 days? How miraculous our bodies work eh? From what he can see my injured eye has 20/20 almost more than perfect vision. My lazy eye has 20/40 which isn't horrible BUT it cannot be improved using glasses or contacts. Its not so much a problem seeing its a problem with the communication from eye to brain. It doesn't "get it". There is not much of a chance it can be improved and if I did patch my good eye long term then I would loose my independence and it would be harder for me to take care of the children, drive... etc. It would be impossible to read almost. During the first eye injury I was using Windows Magnifier to make things larger. It helped.... but it didn't work totally. I couldn't use it long term if I couldn't use the perfect, perfectly, injured eye.