Letters to Myself- You had the best of intentions.

Dear Bella,

    From the very start you had the best of intentions of being an amazing parent to your children. You were a young twenty-one year old when you became a real mother, not just for pretend. You had big plans for their future but you were ill prepared for a world yourself. You still had the best of intentions and you tried your best. You followed advice from people you thought you could trust. You wanted to give your children the whole world and you tried making good on that promise but your life didn't pan out as you planned. "Best laid plans of mice and men often go awry." Some people may think are a deadbeat parent, a looser, or worse because you don't always get things right. Please remember that there are many more people who's opinion is that you are a good mother. The opinions that matter most are Jeanette and William who show you that you are a good mother. They trust you, they confide in you, they want to be around you- sometimes a little too often. They are watching you, they see you for who you really are. A mother trying with the best of intentions. You may not always get things right. You may not always get perfection but you are trying your best despite things going up against you and them. You get up and fight even when there is no fight left. That's what matters. There are children that you didn't give birth to you that trust you and come to you when the world has rough storms. That means something. Maybe one day Mackenzie will give you a chance and know truths. The opinions of those who don't know you don't matter. Those who don't matter pay no mind to and don't let it stop you from having the best of intentions.

Happy 21st birthday Mackenzie

New blog series! Letters to myself.

Dear Bella,

    Healthy relationships don't make you question your worth. Just because you stop being loyal or giving all you have to give that doesn't mean your not worth loving. Stop being loyal to someone who is inconsistent with you. Some people will not recognize your loyalty because they themselves aren't a loyal person. Stop apologizing to someone who treats you like shit. Show other people your value. You deserve that apology. Some people come into your life to show you what love isn't. Madea says "Some people are like leaves on a tree. The wind blows- they're over here. They're unstable. It blows the other way- now they're over there. The seasons change and they wither and die. They're gone. Some people are like a branch on that tree. You've got to be careful about them branches too cause they'll fool you. They'll make you think they're a good friend and they're real strong, but the minute you step out there on them they'll break and leave you high and dry. But if you find two or three people in your life that are like the roots at the bottom of that tree, you are blessed. Because they're the kind of people that ain't going nowhere. They ain't worried about being seen. Don't nobody have to know what they're doing for you but if those roots weren't there that tree couldn't live." Stop being impressed by minimal effort. Sometimes doing what is best for you won't feel the best for you. Its going to hurt. Its going to hurt a lot. Lessons are that way. They hurt so that you learn from them.