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I am setting up my closet and shopping closets together on Poshmark. I want you to join! Help get both of us a $5 credit (how can you go wrong! Its free to join!) Get your credit and mine by using the code BPGNZ DON'T forget the CODE! BPGNZ!https://poshmark.com/getapp 

Its going to be really hard, we're gonna have to work at it....

Have you read Love Dare? Or read the 5 Love Languages? It is important that you take from those books and learn that it doesn't have to just apply to your significant other. You wonder how you can apply it to others? Why not "exercise" it on all types of relationships. The Relationships you have with your child(ren), your co-workers, friends, family member, and even a stranger. So my friends and I love a blog called Momastery. I admit I don't read blogs as often as I wish I could about as often as I write in my own... yet I digress.. Glennon Melton the author of the Momastery wrote a blog about the Questions that could save your relationships..  Another GREAT read and I highly recommend it. I read it and gave it lots of thought because I too have the "sticking to the health and weather type of conversations" that don't lead me to a deeper connection with a person. Its all sugar coated and fluffy. I admit sometimes its just too taxing for ME to be the deeper conversationalist and sometimes I only want fluffy stuff conversation because my brain is too full or I am emotionally drained but sometimes I want people to call me in genuine need for my companionship. They really want to talk to me out of a mutual need not just to fill in the blanks that its been 3 days 12 hours and 5 minutes since we last talked. Lately I've been talking more to a Facebook friend and we have really dived into some of each others skeletons.. I don't think it was intentional it just happened and I have really enjoyed the conversations lately and have had some insight on myself and a lot of new things I have learned about myself I am going to try and address. If I only talked to this friend about the weather in New York and her nieces I don't think I would gain so much. I have certain friends I know I can have common interests with that are more likely to gain/grow/appreciate certain topics of conversations. This may be wrong of me but anyways. My friend Stephanie posted the Momastery article from Huffington and she said what questions could we ask better of our loved ones? what questions do you wish your friends asked? Instead how are you? How are the kids? Everyone just says okay, fine, good whatever... What are you doing today? Housework... No one REALLY wants to have that conversation or do we have that conversation to save us from having REAL conversations. Do you sugar coat it and only talk about your health and the weather so you don't have to use real compassion and intellect. So read this article and don't just think it applies to a significant other but what about a child or a friend or even a stranger. It will be epic if we could all try this. On my Facebook I asked all my Facebook friends to comment below my article and maybe even tag a friend of a question they want to ask. If they didn't "tag" the friend then its a generalized question. So lets all dig a little deeper and try to ask a deeper questions in our relationships. Then the next time your husband says Hi Honey, I am home, how was your day? You will want to smack him! So what kind of questions would you like to be asked? What kind of questions should you be asking?

Remember its going to be real hard but relationships take work and the rewards are endless.

Fairy tales

So I am on the third book of a book series and my Face Book friends must think I never read because I have been having several status just about this book series. I am currently reading the Crossfire Series by Sylvia Day.. It was highly recommended to me after I finished 50 Shades of Grey but I never picked it up. Honestly I LOVE books I am a classic literature freak... Beowulf, Shakespeare, Edgar Allen Poe... etc. The greats I could get lost. In the Crossfire books the main characters Eva and Gideon have a love that is co dependent and most people would say unhealthy... They can't live without each other and they physically need each other. There are relationships where I've felt that need or felt I needed it in return. There are relationships where I would listen to the sappy love songs and wished that I could dedicate them to someone or they would dedicate them to me. That we would feel like that. That we would feel like the words of our own song. I read an article a few years ago that said the Twilight Romance is unhealthy for marriages because wives begin to expect that type of love out of their romance. What about way before that? What about the romance in movies? Or Romeo and Juliet? What great lengths that Romeo and Juliet would do to be together. Some pieces of 50 Shades of Grey were a lot like my past in a relationship I once had where he was terribly beautifully broken then with Eva and Gideon I think how ironic it is that the characters (even the gay best friend in the book) reflect my own life. No my husband isn't a hunky ribbed ab'd martial artist with billions and he certainly doesn't stalk me (or does he?) He's hunky to me *blush* and the character in the book Gideon possess some very similar traits to +Richard . Some I thought he had when we first were just friends, Some I wished he would have and some he does have. Gideon is like Rick in many different aspects its like a prism. Some of the quotes from the book make me do a face palm because I am like that is so like Rick or Eva your so like me... even though I find her a twit like most female leads in the books I read. I guess that's the going thing for romance novels when that's not me or whom I like at all. I am very independently thinking, strong, take no crap kinda gal... Amelia Earhart, Beatrix Potter... are all some of my favorite women. They didn't follow rules certainly not the ones men or society laid out for them. The women who had the mental abilities and strength of any man but still had the kindest softest heart of a woman.  But that's getting off topic. The girls in the books I read like Bella from Twilight and Eva from these Crossfire books just seem to be puddy in the male hands. No I WON'T Be with you then of course they fall in the next second and give in to every command... ugh.

I saw P!nk on Ellen (another woman I admire) and I had to laugh what P!nk said about her and her relationship. Ellen said well now your happily married. P!nk just laughed and said we are married things aren't always happy. We are REAL. I think that explains my marriage too. Our marriage really seemed fairy tale in the beginning perhaps that's why I am here (haha) I often told him I was on cloud nine... but after the Army, deployments, diagnosis',  a baby and more... we are worn now. Cloud Nine isn't all puffy white clouds and falling is even harder when you've been raised so high and let down before. Our marriage isn't always Romeo and Juliet... it never will be. Its not Bella and Edward, Christian and Ana, Diana and Charles, Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier, Elvis and Priscilla, or even Eva and Gideon. Its Bella and Rick :) Its not always a love song, a poem, or a fairy tale its what's real. We have bills, sickness, work, and stress like everyone else. In ways all those things define us good and bad. We came into this marriage with baggage.. We aren't high school sweet hearts. We aren't each others firsts... nothing fairy tales are laid of... its what real life is made of.

Do I still crave and want a possessive, romantic, knight and shining armor? Yes. Who doesn't?
But I am willing to accept my whole life can't be a Notebook romance.

Where I am on your Totem pole?

Ask yourself about your priorities in life... For most people or should I say most Christian's its supposed to be God, Spouse, Children (if you have them)... then fill in the blank.... job, hobbies, friends, SEC Football... whatever. So everyone has a Totem Pole of priorities. I was just talking to someone about a friendship I had/have with someone else. Then I mentioned the conversation to my husband. If a friend has certain actions that occur over time that leaves me to believe of where I am at in her list of priorities. I have never asked to be anyone but my husband's priority... maybe my parents as well. But I would never demand a friend make me a priority in their life when they have their own faith, job, family, possibly spouse. I have had friends multiple times make that demand of ME though. So if your looking at a Totem pole and you can place the priorities at the top being faith, then your spouse, then children or job or whatever... Then you have another totem pole of friends and maybe hobbies. Perhaps we all have Totem Poles in our lives where we categorize things like this... even friends. We have BEST friends and Childhood friends and perhaps if my BEST friend +Michelle Jorden  asked me to be there for something or do something for/with her and an acquaintance asked me to attend a birthday party or some other event the same time of course I would go be there for my BEST friend because I think it would mean MORE to her than it would the acquaintance and it would also hurt her more if I chose the other person over her. In peoples lives its okay to be at the top of some people's Totem Poles... its just as okay to be on the bottom as well. You can't be at everyone's top! Its nice to know where you are on another person's Totem Pole though. How I rate myself on your Totem pole is how I am treated. Do you take time out to check on me when you know I've been dealing with a lot, leave a text message, voice mail or even an email. I'd feel really special and near the top if I got a letter or Christmas card or something. You really took time out to show me you care. When you return a favor or do something out of goodness. I can accept being at the bottom of your Totem Pole but I know not to make you a priority.

Home Sweet Home -- kinda

I am from Georgia. I lived in Georgia until +Richard Stevens kidnapped me and I didn't think I would ever move even though I've been Wooed by Tennessee and Michigan before... I just didn't think I would ever move away from family. I lived 4 hours from Family and that was hard at times. But I've grown to love Huntsville... Not Alabama just Huntsville. I do always look forward to going home for visits with my best friend. Even if its a mini road trip like it is today... I only went right inside the Georgia border to meet up with someone then I drove straight home we barely made any stops. I love Road Trips. I love driving MOST of the time. This is the first time I ever went over the Scottsboro Bridge and up Sand Mountain by myself. Usually Rick does those tricky parts. But originally I intended for it to just be +Michelle Jorden her daughter Kilie, and I.... at the last minute and I mean the VERY last minute Rick decided to join us which also means William had to come too. William was excited about seeing Shell and Kilie anyways. Just going barely inside of the state lines makes my day YAY :) On a bad note Michelle's van got a flat tire. Pray she can get a new to her one soon :( She just can't seem to get a break. Maybe next time one of my Georgia friends will decide to drive half way and meet me on the border for a lunch date or something *wink*

New Facebook Cover

Allowance, Chores, Good Grades, Respect in a world of self entitlement.

When I was a single parent Skylar got an allowance... If I had 10 cents left out of my earnings and after bills/needs that's what she got. She got whatever I had left which usually wasn't much since I was single. I usually put it on a gift card or something so she could have the cute Dora gift card (it was what she was into at the time) from Walmart. 

We've gotten away from having so many assigned chores. I have fought with myself over to let kids be kids and she struggles enough with getting homework completed and not having any time with friends much less extra circular activities like her beloved Cheer. Rick and I pick up the slack and James helps out in the areas in which physically hurt me. I've tried doing chore charts for all three kids and included in some commission chores as Dave Ramsey suggests. They had their responsibilities to just help out as being part of a family and then they had other chores they could do to earn commission but yet no one helped enforce or manage these. So I gave up. James said he didn't want to earn any money. Skylar's too lazy to take care of her regular chores or like I said too busy doing her first responsibility -- school. 

Then I tried http://www.myjobchart.com/ but again my husband and kids seemed uninterested. 

I've tried Cozi and all sorts of different types to organize and keep us connected it usually falls on deaf ears.

I don't want to raise my child to be self entitled especially in this society where we've elected politicians that support this YOLO belief. I visited this on my blog last week HERE.

Again I am running into the gimmies and my Christmas Tree is still up so that means my children have no business with the Gimmies when they were just spoiled beyond belief a week ago.  I don't see the sense in a North Face jacket when its just like any other furry fleece Jacket... You appreciate what you had not a name brand or a fad. .

Does your child get allowance? If so how much for what age and what portion do they earn? 

My goals and resolutions for 2014

I made a resolution to not make new resolutions just to keep the old ones.

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My New Years Resolutions are to snail mail important people that I may have lost contact (Dr, David Hermecz, Barry and Joanne Mick, Joey Harmon, Stephanie White) with or that are special enough to know I take time to hand write them. This is now going to include Thank You notes. William's birthday was in August and his are sitting on my desk WHOOPS!

Recently I saw a music video and it shook me. Sadly its not the first time I just chose then to not change at that moment. I am going to try to change this time... I know from my faith and my beliefs I can't change other people but I can change myself. I can pray for the other people and hope that God's will works for me or I can learn to change ME and accept the things I cannot change and that it is not in God's will to change. This isn't so much a New Years Resolution as it is reconfirmation of my faith. To let God lead me me. To let God handle the dirty nitty gritty. To go with the flow. I saw Say Something by a Great Big World I know I have a temper and because I am not quiet or keeping things to myself unfortunately there is confrontation. My husband and I have our disagreements. Sometimes the kids are present. I am not proud of this! Seeing the little girl in the music video and the one in the Pink video just left a void in me. I have to respect my children by controlling my temper and finding another way without them being hurt. Again I trust in God to help me through this as this is a bad habit.. its a cycle of abuse I need to break. 

My third big goal/resolution is I resolve to take care of my body my health and my emotional and spiritual being.

This year a bad habit I'm going to break: Is loosing my temper around the children

A new skill I'd like to learn: Sewing! oh and Cake making/decorating

A person I hope to be more like: My idols and my role models... Dr Dave, Barry Mick, Beatrix Potter, Audrey Hepburn, Jack Hanna, and Amelia Earhart.

A good deed I'm going to do: I always do good deeds its how I am built! Set forth out every day with selflessness.

A Place I'd like to visit: My grand parents head stones, My ex's father's head stone, Friends, the beach, Atlanta, Ruby Falls, and Pigeon Forge.. In the future Arizona and Disney World.

A Book I'd like to read: A child called It, Confession time Sylvia Days Bared to you ( I got it for Christmas!), Scream Free Marriage, and Parenting with Love and Logic.

A Letter I'm going to write: One to Barry Mick, Dr Dave, Joey... and William's thank you notes!

A new food I'd like to try: I tried Hummus yesterday it didn't go over well :( 

I'm going to do better at: NOT screaming

What are yours?

Welcome 2014!

What a way to start out the new year... 

Monday William was burning up running a temperature and then he started to get a sick tummy.. I usually don't rush my little ones to the doctor since 99% of the time I hear Skylar has strep even though she rarely has symptoms and/or its just a virus it has to work its way out. But I was genuinely concerned and Rick said he would just feel better if I took William to the doctor so I did. He weighed just shy of 40 lbs and he had a 103 Temp. They swabbed him for influenza and strep throat. Strep came back positive. Poor Bubby was more still and quiet than he's been since the day before he was born. He slept almost all day with a small spurt of energy.. Anyone that knows William knows he has the energy of 4 - four year old boys. Yesterday he wasn't any better and for awhile we were really worried because the stomach got much worse and he had not gone potty. So we canceled the sitter (she is sick anyways) and just chose to stay in. It was also my husband +Richard Stevens  50th birthday. He ran to get take out from one of our favorite resturants and I ran to Publix to get birthday party supplies (cake, ice cream, birthday card, present, candles)... We had our own little party here at the house. Not the Steam Punk bash I had planned :( 

1/1/2014...

William is better. He only vomited this morning and has been holding down everything else. His fever finally broke after 3 days and he hasn't napped today. We've had a chill and lazy day. The kids playing Sims and Just Dance and just playing. Rick building his war game and me bouncing between things like the new American Girl Release of Isabelle, Sims, chores, and playing with the kids.

Fever Bugs showing a Normal temperature.