Fairy tales

So I am on the third book of a book series and my Face Book friends must think I never read because I have been having several status just about this book series. I am currently reading the Crossfire Series by Sylvia Day.. It was highly recommended to me after I finished 50 Shades of Grey but I never picked it up. Honestly I LOVE books I am a classic literature freak... Beowulf, Shakespeare, Edgar Allen Poe... etc. The greats I could get lost. In the Crossfire books the main characters Eva and Gideon have a love that is co dependent and most people would say unhealthy... They can't live without each other and they physically need each other. There are relationships where I've felt that need or felt I needed it in return. There are relationships where I would listen to the sappy love songs and wished that I could dedicate them to someone or they would dedicate them to me. That we would feel like that. That we would feel like the words of our own song. I read an article a few years ago that said the Twilight Romance is unhealthy for marriages because wives begin to expect that type of love out of their romance. What about way before that? What about the romance in movies? Or Romeo and Juliet? What great lengths that Romeo and Juliet would do to be together. Some pieces of 50 Shades of Grey were a lot like my past in a relationship I once had where he was terribly beautifully broken then with Eva and Gideon I think how ironic it is that the characters (even the gay best friend in the book) reflect my own life. No my husband isn't a hunky ribbed ab'd martial artist with billions and he certainly doesn't stalk me (or does he?) He's hunky to me *blush* and the character in the book Gideon possess some very similar traits to +Richard . Some I thought he had when we first were just friends, Some I wished he would have and some he does have. Gideon is like Rick in many different aspects its like a prism. Some of the quotes from the book make me do a face palm because I am like that is so like Rick or Eva your so like me... even though I find her a twit like most female leads in the books I read. I guess that's the going thing for romance novels when that's not me or whom I like at all. I am very independently thinking, strong, take no crap kinda gal... Amelia Earhart, Beatrix Potter... are all some of my favorite women. They didn't follow rules certainly not the ones men or society laid out for them. The women who had the mental abilities and strength of any man but still had the kindest softest heart of a woman.  But that's getting off topic. The girls in the books I read like Bella from Twilight and Eva from these Crossfire books just seem to be puddy in the male hands. No I WON'T Be with you then of course they fall in the next second and give in to every command... ugh.

I saw P!nk on Ellen (another woman I admire) and I had to laugh what P!nk said about her and her relationship. Ellen said well now your happily married. P!nk just laughed and said we are married things aren't always happy. We are REAL. I think that explains my marriage too. Our marriage really seemed fairy tale in the beginning perhaps that's why I am here (haha) I often told him I was on cloud nine... but after the Army, deployments, diagnosis',  a baby and more... we are worn now. Cloud Nine isn't all puffy white clouds and falling is even harder when you've been raised so high and let down before. Our marriage isn't always Romeo and Juliet... it never will be. Its not Bella and Edward, Christian and Ana, Diana and Charles, Grace Kelly and Prince Rainier, Elvis and Priscilla, or even Eva and Gideon. Its Bella and Rick :) Its not always a love song, a poem, or a fairy tale its what's real. We have bills, sickness, work, and stress like everyone else. In ways all those things define us good and bad. We came into this marriage with baggage.. We aren't high school sweet hearts. We aren't each others firsts... nothing fairy tales are laid of... its what real life is made of.

Do I still crave and want a possessive, romantic, knight and shining armor? Yes. Who doesn't?
But I am willing to accept my whole life can't be a Notebook romance.

Thoughts of a Dysfunctional Veterans Wife

We saw this on a patch once and we joked whether it meant I was dysfunctional or was he the dysfunctional one. I decided to leave it up to the reader of the patch.

Watching my husband march a few weeks back in the Veterans Day Parade I got a little emotional. Emotional for the pride that I have. I am so so proud of him and Alex too. Both of them are so brave and don't even realize it. Emotional over the times I had to say goodbye as he went to Iraq. Alex going to Afghanistan. Feelings and emotions that an Army Wife can't explain to anyone else. Feelings and emotions she should HAVE to feel. At hte same time I am glad I did. I am thankful for what my love for him has taught me surviving and thriving during his deployment. I learned the true meaning of inner and emotional strength. I learned survival and tough love like no one could ever teach me only I could teach myself.

I had a fabulous time at New Moon with my dear friend and old neighbor Danielle. There was a preview for a movie coming out called Dear John. Again seeing a Soldier deploying and doing what he was taught to do brought me to tears. Duty, Honor, Country... Words I still don't grasp, But I know they are everything to Rick. Sacrafice. If I were to ask you what have you sacraficed this month? Does your answer seem so petty compared to a soldier who says my life for your freedom. I can betcha that alot of Soldiers can say they sacraficed hearing their child's first cries, first words or first steps. I betcha a lot marriages that would have lasted decades broke apart due to a Soldiers Duty. Do we even want to pretend to understand how it feels for them to not comfort us wives and our children during one of the hardest trials of our lives?

I think back on my short time as an Army Wife. I look at Army Wives who've stuck by their husbands through decades of service, 4 or more deployments, countless times where they didn't come home to tuck in their children. Countless times the wives kept watch over their child who is sick in the hospital... alone. Although compared to me I have never had to PCS and move to a different city except this once. I never had to drive days just to get to him. I never gave birth without him by my side. Those are the true Army Wives. The true Military Wives. While the average person complains that her husband can't come home for dinner, or he didn't take out the garbage, or remembered their birthday... at least he was there. I am selfish too... my husband had CQ Duty twice this week and I complained (not too much I knew I had to suck it up, but it sucked none the less) at least my husband came home from his deployment, he came home from Korea the two years before that. He comes home to me every night that he's not pulling duty for the Army. At least he comes home. So many families won't ever have a Holiday with their loved one again. I just missed one Thanksgiving, One Christmas, One birthday... just one. So I try to remember how selfish I am and calm down and just suck it up. I miss him much but he will always come home to me and that should be enough. Shouldn't it?

If you really think about it. The emotions over come you. They do with me and I lived it.

Be Thankful that your husband comes home most nights. If he's gone working be thankful he has a job and is willing to support your family. He works hard and he is always thinking its just not enough. Be thankful this Thanksgiving your husband is there to watch football with his buddies LOUDLY. Some wives would give anything for that sound. Be Thankful you have a wonderful family some of us Military Wives haven't seen our families in years.

Please be sure to remember what you should be Thankful for our freedom to celebrate Thanksgiving a soldier gave us that right. Be thankful for the chaos of Black Friday and be gracious to each other. Pray for our troops serving over seas and their families who are worried about them.