I Am Kintsugi
There’s a Japanese art form called Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired using lacquer mixed with powdered gold. Instead of hiding the cracks, the artist highlights them. The break isn’t something to be ashamed of—it becomes part of the object’s story, making it more valuable than before.
My therapist recently told me, “You’re like Kintsugi pottery.”
I took the illustration she gave me and sat with it. The more I thought about it, the more I understood. I have been shattered—by grief, by loss, by things I never asked for but had to carry anyway. When someone I love died, I cracked in ways I didn’t know were possible. My routines broke. My beliefs broke. My sense of time, of fairness, of safety—splintered. I thought I would never be whole again.
But I’m starting to learn something: healing doesn’t mean going back to who I was. It means honoring who I am now—because of what I’ve lived through.
Even though the cracks are visible, a lot like scars on our skin, the gold inlaid is a sign of healing.
The gold that fills my cracks isn’t glittery or obvious.
Sometimes it’s quiet strength—the ability to get out of bed on days I don’t want to.
Sometimes it’s vulnerability—the way I can now speak openly about my pain.
Sometimes it’s connection—how I can sit with others in their grief because I truly understand it.
I didn’t choose the breaking.
But I am choosing the gold, for now.
And every time I show up for myself—every time I write, cry, or reflect instead of going numb—I’m painting those cracks with something resilient and real.
So no, I’m not “good as new.”
I’m better.
I’m different.
My scars are beautiful.
I am Kintsugi.
🌀 Reader Reflection
If you’re reading this and feel like you’re in pieces—know this: you don’t have to put yourself back together the same way. You can be changed and still be whole. Your cracks don’t make you less; they can become the most honest, human, and beautiful parts of you.
How have your broken places been filled with gold?
I’d love to hear what healing has looked like for you.
Here are a few questions to reflect on:
- What are the “cracks” in your life that you’ve learned to live with—or even grow from?
- If you were made of Kintsugi, what would your gold be?
What strength or lesson has filled your broken places?
- Has your pain shaped you into someone more compassionate or wise? How?
- What part of your story do you now see as beautiful, even if it hurt at the time?
- What does healing look like for you today—not perfect, but real?
