I can't believe how quickly the years have gone by. From the moment I found out about you, I felt blessed. From that moment it's been just the two of us. Even now that we have daddy, Alex, James, and William, a lot of days it still can feel like it's just us two. Today I want to tell you I would love to be at your wedding, hold your first baby, give you a high school or college diploma but you can stay 9 forever it's easier to protect you. Born at 5 pounds barely 8 ounces . It was easy to protect you then. You were so small you fit between the crease of my elbow to my wrist. I wrapped you snug in your "B" and cradled you in my arms. Unless I had to I was rarely apart from you. I even kept you to myself. Even from Butch & Donnie. You were my little Angel, just for me to love. I made a promise to you before you were born that I would try to do anything I could to take care of you and protect you. Being a kid isn't always easy. Watching you grow up though is hard. If you do have to grow up promise to always be close to me as we've always been. Remember I am always here to listen, to hug, to rub your head and play with your hair and to wipe away tears. Moms never loose boo boo healing powers. Even as you get older there isn't a hurt I can't try to make better. I will always want to protect you. Don't get to angry when I won't let you do what you want it's just me protecting you. By the time I married daddy James and Alex were too old to protect and every time they get the boo boos adulthood brings. I feel them to when you & your brothers hurt I hurt too.
I hope you take things slow. Enjoy the moments that William is small and loves your attention. One day he will be taller than you and too cool to hang out with his big sister. Before you know it James & William will be busy with their own lives and families. Take the slow days of childhood, the innocence and don't forget to show them and Daddy and I how much you care. Don't forget to say I love you even when your mad because next time might never come. Life should be filled with hugs, kisses and even tears.
I would give anything if I didn't have to protect you. If the world was safe and no one broke your heart or let you down. I wish I could lock your newborn age in a box so I can bring you out just to hold you again. I wish I could lock away your silly laugh, or the way you said banana (be-na) and band aid (bam bam). The way you told people you hope they deel bebber when they were upset. Or how every time I cried you would try to feed me when you were 4. In Georgia the many nights we laid near the Christmas Tree in the lazy boy together sleeping next to the magical lights. I would give almost anything just to be able to have some of those moments again.
Don't ever forget the wonderment in your eyes when your around Alex. Don't forget how much William is the same way with you. He gets so excited just to be near you. That probably won't last forever.
When you grow up I hope you hold on to the faith I have hopefully have taught you. I hope you stay strong but weak enough to admit that our heavenly father carries your worries too! I hope you always try to reach your dreams. Don't forget dreams don't die priorities change. I hope you live life to your fullest and never let fear slow you down and hold you back. Don't take a single moment for granted. When you love give all of yourself. When your scared I'm always there and pray everything will work out.
You can stay little forever and never grow up but watching you grow up will be an adventure I will take right by your side. Hand in hand.
I love you baby.
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