Military Wives I need some support and advice

To make a long story short. But not too short because that's impossible for me it seems LOL.
My husband and I got married a year ago. 7 months after we got married he PCS'd to Ft Riley for I think 9 weeks of training and was then deployed to a MiTT team. He doesn't belong to a unit just a very small team in Iraq.

He thought it was best if I stayed behind here at Redstone where he is to return to his old MOS. His youngest son had already gotten a job, I had already networked and made friends and already had a set schedule and knowledge of things so I stayed behind

For the first couple of months of this. I have done pretty good IMO at least I think for me LOL. I was pretty upset when I couldn't go to Kansas to see him off. I think part of me needs that closure of him leaving. Now it seems its easier for us to say good bye at home and let him go to the airport alone. The FRG at Ft Riley has had very limited contact with me. I have no contact with other wives or husbands from the team. I feel very alienated. I know the distance is a problem but with today's technology I don't see what the issue is really? I have read articles about Private Homecomings which I think Rick's will be since again I can't go to Kansas to see him come in (right now the outlook isn't too great). So once again I will be picking him up at the airport like he's coming home for R&R. I feel cheated and a void about this. Even though with a private home coming I know also I can make it my own the way I want it (or the way he wants it) but still... Its like having a c-section.... there is always that void...

I sent him back to Iraq two weeks ago from R&R and I have had a lot harder time with focusing, keeping busy, not thinking about time left. The time thing used to be exciting for me. Like I would say YEAH I made it Through 30 weeks or whatever... WOW its already been 6 months time flew by... Now its like OMG there is THAT much left I don't even feel like there is a dent in it!

I live on a fairly small post that is filled mainly with AIT students. There is a small FRG and I have regular contact with the FRG leaders who have been more than extraordinary. The Captain of Rick's old Brigade is the FRG leader and he is an Extraordinary soldier! I want to write the Col about him too! Anyways. So maybe once a month we have our "FRG" meeting which consists of Free Bowling, Free Pizza and some Hello's in passing. There is a Waiting Spouses "Support" Group I use support loosely there because sometimes I walk away more traumatized than when I came lol. We are a "Non-Deployable Post" So its kinda of like more like the Stray wives club. Where sometimes our husbands got deployed and we moved here to be with family, or our husbands got sent to Ft Riley or Bragg to deploy out of but we stayed behind... That kind of support. So I am kinda still feeling like a stray, abandoned, and lost LOL.

Like I said I have been doing better than I expected for the first half and now my Borderline Personality disorder, PTSD, and Depression are creeping up. I am fully aware of this and I am actually fine with it for now. I recognize the abandonment feelings as part of this issue...

Any advice?

Catching Up

I am a writer by heart. I love to write and I love to write often. Rick and I just finished up our two weeks of R&R. Although there wasn't much R&R to be had. Which I feel guilty for. I promised James a Firefly marathon... it didn't happen. I promised a second Christmas to everyone.... didn't happen... So when I woke up that morning to him already wearing his ACU's gathering the last of his belongings I wanted nothing more than to poof myself somewhere.... anywhere would have been fine. I would say that moment was borderline traumatic. For three days I was depressed, Moody and just wanting to sleep through the rest of the deployment. Literally Wake me up when September ends....

Its just been a week since he's been gone and my whole demeanor on this deployment has changed. I dealt with it beautifully for 6 months and 20 days and now I just want to ignore the time left.

Everyone wants to know how R&R went. But I am not sure what to tell you LOL.

He came in early and I was like nothing's done that's supposed to be done because he came in a week earlier than I expected then a day earlier than I expected. Aren't there usually delays LOL? Not that I am complaining but I did that day because nothing was done!

Here are pictures of Skylar and I getting ready...

A fellow Army Wife took me to the airport to meet him. Skylar of course tagged along. I left them at the doors to the baggage claim and I went inside. I quickly found the baggage claim for the flight... No Rick... So I stood by the stairs... waiting... I saw many combat boots pass me by. I got excited with each one. Finally the combat boots that belong to my husband were coming down the stairs and I knew before our eyes met that it was him. We had the expected greeting and we headed out to the van.

She dropped us off at the PX so we could get the rent a car then we came home. My friend offered to babysit Skylar that first night so we went out to dinner with James and went to the book store. After that Skylar called crying she wanted to come home. So we went and got her and that was fine. Later that week we ended up going to the mall with a friend of mine. Rick had saw Libby Lu (http://www.clublibbylu.com/) and came back with Skylar and told me all about it so we decided to do it. Well it was a horrible experience. I was treated so poorly as well was Skylar called Managers and Coporate to complain about this. So Libby Lu did give us a second makeover.

Here's pictures from that... Skylar and Mikayla's Princess Makeover

and the second makeover and this one is the Rock Star/Hannah Montana Makeover lol

In that first week we also bought a car. James bought a Wii against our better judgement or was it? It turned out to be a great family fun activity! Rick attended Skylar's ballet lesson. She's been taking it for months but it was the first one he has gotten to see.

The second week was our Anniversary Week it was mainly all about us. I had made reservations on Tuesday for an overnight stay at the Embassy Suites with the Romance Package that of course was scheduled after our special Gondola ride. Then the next day we would go down to the Spa for a nice couples massage.

http://www.labellagondolas.com/ Jason and Roberto YOU WERE WONDERFUL thank you so very much for making it so memorable!

http://www.bridgestreethuntsville.com/

http://embassysuites1.hilton.com/en_US/es/hotel/HSVESES-Embassy-Suites-Huntsville-Hotel-Spa-Alabama/index.do

http://embassysuites.hilton.com/en/es/hotels/hotelpromo.jhtml?ctyhocn=HSVESES&promo=HSVESES_Spa_Botanica&cid=OH,ES,hsves,SpaF

I wanted to share a little bit of history with you. The Day Rick and I got married it snowed and there was a fountain at the chapel that was frozen over solid LOL. The weekend before our first anniversary boy were we excited due to the fact we were concerned about freezing on the Gondola. The weather said it would be in the 70's on our anniversary BEAUTIFUL! Well with the warm front came Tornado's! So the Gondola postpone. My babysitter was sick and with the tornado's we tried to post pone the hotel reservations but they weren't having it saying they had already bought the roses for the romance package and they were booked solid the next day. Now we called way before check in! So what's the use in all that? Making a deposit and all that? So the babysitter (my friend) said she would still watch Skylar on our anniversary and for the Gondola. So we went ahead to the hotel to pay for the room and check in. It was still mid afternoon. I went up to the room to set up. We would come back for the free social hour lol and dinner.

Once we returned to our room after the social hourthere is no sign of the flowers that were supposed to be there, the champagne and chocolates that were included with the romance package reservation. We called the front desk and they "took care" of it. Still not up to my satisfaction but I was already bitter toward the hotel LOL. I had yet to find out why I was going to be bitter. At 4 am I had just gotten to sleep and the fire alarms alerted us that the Tornado's that were due in 12 hours before had arrived. Everyone in the hotel must come down to the ballroom. Well that was a nightmare, Over crowded and frightened people for over an hour. Luckily no tornados hit in Huntsville just devastation to some outer laying counties. The next day we enjoyed our couples massage its the first time I ever had a massage.

We went home and spent some time with Skylar who was feeling a little under the weather my guess was from going to the Child development center on post. So we decided we would take her on the Gondola ride with us. The Gondola had to be postponed again due to high winds left by the Tornado's. Once the warm front had left Huntsville it began to get chilly again. So the day before Rick left we finally got our Gondola Ride and it was MOST beautiful! I am glad it got postponed two days it was like a final Hoooah for Rick and something to tie the bow on the package. Know what I mean?

It is tradition to kiss underneath the bridge so Rick made sure that happened several times. So many infact Roberto did a U-turn and went right back under! AH! LOl.

Some reason I can't upload another video of the vocalist which was awesome! I might do it in another blog!

Roberto asked Rick to help with the litter problem at the lake. Rick picked up a bottle out of the water once he noticed the message in the bottle he looked at me and said sneaky! La Bella Gondola made sure every detail was to perfection! I so appreciate there cooperation!