Picture Days and Poor Choices

   Everybody can look back at their school pictures and see the crazy hair or the crazy outfits we either picked out ourselves or our mothers sewed us into.. Today serves as a reminder as school pictures never really go away they just remind us of bad choices in our lives LOL
   Today is school picture day at the middle school. So I put William on the bus dressed for his crazy sock day... I come inside to get a picture of Skylar in whatever cute outfit she picked out for picture day. See we made an agreement years ago that for the fall pictures (ie Yearbook pictures) she dresses into whatever interests her that year.. Ie William will have a Roblox or Minecraft shirt she would wear the band tee of her choice or whatever that way 20 years down the road you look through your year book and see oh I was into One Direction when I was in 6th grade what was I thinking. So yes she picks out her own clothes for picture day. I think the thought is a good idea. Well I walk in the house she has on a red plaid flannel shirt, a skeleton tank top (first year I let her wear tanks to school) the skeleton tank top looks like a human skeleton pasted onto the tank its black, rayon and shiny. Like the shoulders down to the hipbones and then blue denim Avril Lavigne jeans so they are blue with black rock embellishments on them. I don't take a step in the house and say oh child your wearing that for picture day? Ie the just rolled out of bed look. She's like what's wrong with it? I said its PICTURE DAY. You want your year book photo to look like that? She's like what my tank top is exactly three finger widths like they ask plus I have the flannel on. I said well you can start off by MATCHING... Rick's like your going to give her a complex.. This is the guy that has blue shorts with black palm trees he wears with EVERYTHING... I said I told you not to rub off on my child! She's still defending her choices. I said Skylar my dear this is the best outfit in your closet? This is your FAVORITE outfit? She said yes... of what I could find.. *SMH* I can't even post the picture of her because its that bad. She says Chelle Chelle picked this out for me! I said no I buy your clothes. I usually pick out your clothes from Rocket City Consignment (my work) with no help from you and you wear what I buy so obviously I get your taste and I am not going to put you in a lacy girlie whatever. I said I am NOT buying your school pictures (maybe I will as an example of her poor choices in life LOL) and when we have family picture day **I** will chose your clothes. She began to object LOL
She claims these were my bad fashion choices for her and never lets me live it down. Honestly the Gymboree outfit I bought one identical to fit a doll so it will live on forever :P 

a family member took their make-a-wish trip to Mexico and brought her back this dress. She insists it looks like a clown

She's always whined about this twirl skirt yet she dressers her BROTHER in it.. Where's the justice in that? She liked PINK and ZEBRA's I think that's pretty well a perfect match LOL

This is her least favorite outfit she brings up about once a month how cringe worthy it is. YES I LOVED gymboree.  Yes I bought it in two different sizes and yes she wore it for two picture days..

Is it as bad as she claims?

and yes I bought a handmade version for her doll so I can be reminded of how much I loved that line from Gymboree LOL

Yes I have been known to matching you and your brother in silly Christmas Jammies and I made of made a request or two that you wear them for your Santa pictures.

I might buy them again this year just to prove I am the mean mother who dresses you funny

Now good fashion choices 

an adorable outfit she wore just on a random day. It was black skinny jeans with holes. a black and gray top with a tank under it. She was stunning and looked like a model. Mama doesn't do so bad clothes shopping child.. Next picture day I will go buy you something from the thrift store..

Uncle Buck and Uncle Butch

So my goal was to blog about Christmas until Christmas but I missed yesterday. I am sick :(
Today's topic isn't so much about Christmas either but I have stories to share

My grandfather his name is Carlton. He is the most special man I have ever known. He passed away July 22, 2000. He struggled most of his life with cancer at least all of my life. I think its safe to say my Papa Bear (thats our nickname for my Grandfather) was close to his siblings. He owned a farm in Jonesboro up until a few years before his death. On each side of his farm his brothers also owned farms. Uncle Buck was on one side. Growing up if Uncle Buck was up visiting he would tease us granddaughters a lot. He would pull my pony tail and say Boy why do you got a pony tail in your hair.. He was alway teasing. He would be pulling it and say are you a pony? etc. I was 18 and I moved on the farm with my biological mother and Papa Bears bulldog took a liking to me and I would sneak him in mom's house (she lived in the farm between Buck and Papa Bears houses) and he would cuddle and go to sleep on my lap so I would paint his nails. One day Uncle Buck caught me and he would say Boy, you're Papa Bear will tan your hide if he caught you with that dog in the house. That is an outside dog who doesn't need to get spoiled by being in the heated house. Then what will your Papa Bear say when you finds out you painted Pluto's nails? I said he hasn't noticed yet *big grin* I loved my Uncle Buck and Aunt Beverly and all his children my Uncle Mike. Sadly I lost track of them as I became adults. I did hear that Uncle Buck passed a few years ago. I sure do love him and miss him dearly. I would give up this fancy suburbia to take my kids back to that farm as I had it. <3 life.="" p="" s="" that="" the="">

Uncle Butch really isn't my uncle by blood or relation. Uncle Butch is actually my ex boyfriends Uncle. He is one of Skylar's favorite people. My 12 year old daughter. Growing up I dated Donnie for the first 4 years of Skylar's life and Butch was a constant in her life as if he was a grand parent but better even. He loved to spoil her and play with her. He kept in contact even after Donnie and I broke up and so far he is the only person to visit me since I moved from Georgia to Alabama nearly eight years ago. He made sure we were taken care of and honestly for years I struggled to do what was right or whether or not to accept it. It has been a very big moral dilemma for me. Shortly after I saw him last in 2007 he moved up to Pennsylvania to help his ex wife and adopted son. His health began to fail and and as his father before him and as I suspected for awhile he had diabetes and alzheimers just like his father who passed away a few years ago. I will send him a New Years card along with everyone else (because I didn't get Christmas cards done) I hope he is okay healthwise last I heard it wasn't looking good. Shamefully I was thankful he moved up to Pennsylvania to shield Skylar at the time from the tragedy that is Alzheimers. She was too young to see his father deteriorate and I have seen it many times. I can't imagine the heart break of your favorite person forgetting who you are. Now she's old enough to understand but she still has much anxiety and depression over losing him.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, or Merry Chrismukkah.

All I have ever known is the traditional Christian and commercialized versions of Christmas. I have always wanted to learn about how to do Hanukkah since I have connected to Judaism for some time. My sister converted to Judaism when she was in the military and I went to temple with her while I visited. I like the beliefs and doctrine. So I am totally down with the Chrismukkah if I ever can...
I don't want to be insulting or wrong in my teachings toward my children. Skylar learned about dreidels in Kindergarten and both kids enjoy their dreidels. We respect most other religions and I have always been fascinated and eager to learn about them for sure! What do you celebrate in your house this time of year?

The weird thing about freckles

When my nephew Matthew was a toddler when I would assist him washing his hands he always had this birth mark its either a large freckle or mole on the side of his hand and it would drive me nuts I always thought I was missing dirt. As Skylar grew I notice she has a similar one in a similar place she hates it. I have a tiny one on my hand and so does William. It's weird how genetics can even span cousins to have the same freckle pattern. I think it's something unique that links us together.

Wordless Wednesday

I haven't been taking pictures as much so I don't have much to share but maybe this Wordless Wednesday should be wordy Wednesday. We have made it a habit to go to the library nearly once (or more) a week. Sometimes TWO libraries. We live near our military post so we sometimes go there to change things up a bit. William my 5 year old even does reading therapy with a dog named Taka. 

This is a picture of William in the children's garden at the Madison City Library. 

Allowance, Chores, Good Grades, Respect in a world of self entitlement.

When I was a single parent Skylar got an allowance... If I had 10 cents left out of my earnings and after bills/needs that's what she got. She got whatever I had left which usually wasn't much since I was single. I usually put it on a gift card or something so she could have the cute Dora gift card (it was what she was into at the time) from Walmart. 

We've gotten away from having so many assigned chores. I have fought with myself over to let kids be kids and she struggles enough with getting homework completed and not having any time with friends much less extra circular activities like her beloved Cheer. Rick and I pick up the slack and James helps out in the areas in which physically hurt me. I've tried doing chore charts for all three kids and included in some commission chores as Dave Ramsey suggests. They had their responsibilities to just help out as being part of a family and then they had other chores they could do to earn commission but yet no one helped enforce or manage these. So I gave up. James said he didn't want to earn any money. Skylar's too lazy to take care of her regular chores or like I said too busy doing her first responsibility -- school. 

Then I tried http://www.myjobchart.com/ but again my husband and kids seemed uninterested. 

I've tried Cozi and all sorts of different types to organize and keep us connected it usually falls on deaf ears.

I don't want to raise my child to be self entitled especially in this society where we've elected politicians that support this YOLO belief. I visited this on my blog last week HERE.

Again I am running into the gimmies and my Christmas Tree is still up so that means my children have no business with the Gimmies when they were just spoiled beyond belief a week ago.  I don't see the sense in a North Face jacket when its just like any other furry fleece Jacket... You appreciate what you had not a name brand or a fad. .

Does your child get allowance? If so how much for what age and what portion do they earn? 

Welcome 2014!

What a way to start out the new year... 

Monday William was burning up running a temperature and then he started to get a sick tummy.. I usually don't rush my little ones to the doctor since 99% of the time I hear Skylar has strep even though she rarely has symptoms and/or its just a virus it has to work its way out. But I was genuinely concerned and Rick said he would just feel better if I took William to the doctor so I did. He weighed just shy of 40 lbs and he had a 103 Temp. They swabbed him for influenza and strep throat. Strep came back positive. Poor Bubby was more still and quiet than he's been since the day before he was born. He slept almost all day with a small spurt of energy.. Anyone that knows William knows he has the energy of 4 - four year old boys. Yesterday he wasn't any better and for awhile we were really worried because the stomach got much worse and he had not gone potty. So we canceled the sitter (she is sick anyways) and just chose to stay in. It was also my husband +Richard Stevens  50th birthday. He ran to get take out from one of our favorite resturants and I ran to Publix to get birthday party supplies (cake, ice cream, birthday card, present, candles)... We had our own little party here at the house. Not the Steam Punk bash I had planned :( 

1/1/2014...

William is better. He only vomited this morning and has been holding down everything else. His fever finally broke after 3 days and he hasn't napped today. We've had a chill and lazy day. The kids playing Sims and Just Dance and just playing. Rick building his war game and me bouncing between things like the new American Girl Release of Isabelle, Sims, chores, and playing with the kids.

Fever Bugs showing a Normal temperature.

Roaring at Haters.

So after I was listening to MoJo... I love Car line for this reason and they were having the discussion about friends... Roar by Katy Perry came on. I have had some family drama lately and I have always wondered why certain family, friends, people in my life why they can't be happy that I am where I am? Then I realized because the people oppressing you don't WANT you to win... They are HATERS.

I must sound so full of it but this is honestly I guess my logic... If people can't be there for me in the sunshine and just LOVE when it rains then they don't deserve the sunshine and its ALL RIGHT!
Or if people JUST want my sunshine but vanish when it rains then its time to kick those people to the curb as well.

I have cried my ugly tears this week dealing with my family abandoning me but I realized they just can't be happy for me for whatever reason its THEIR issue not mine. This is not a new issue I have struggled with my family my whole life. Same goes for some people I might have called friends.

I have truly been blessed with the ability to not let things weigh me down... It could take months, or just weeks or days or no time at all for me to dust myself off but I ALWAYS dust myself off. Sometimes I have to learn that a certain thing or person is holding me down that may take awhile it may take awhile for me to learn to let that person go but I can ROAR over adversity I believe it and I have done it... maybe its what some people call faith? IDK...

Day 4 of Days of Thanks... Jesus Take the Wheel.

November 4th

 I've written about my connection to this song probably many times in my blog. I have been through some tough times and I have never blasted God or asked him why I know he has his reasons and its not for me to understand now but perhaps later or not at all. I have held on to my faith like my last breath of air because if its the last thing I have then I cannot give up on that. 

I read Gianna Aborted and Lived to Tell about it. Years and years ago. 

She talks about giving it to God etc. I never understood it. When Mackenzie had to go live with the grand bitch I just said God has a reason and its not for me to question it. Anyone that knows me knows how freaked I get about my kids especially Skylar. She had to have general anesthesia at the age of what 3 or 4 I don't remember to have some teeth removed. I FREAKED big time. I still questioned how to give it to God etc etc. But I did my best. I heard Jesus Take the Wheel  and it kinda put me at a calm and I just promised God if he helped me with Skylar that I would give back to him. I would lead my life in another direction. My prayer and promise was a lot like the words to the song. Then when I left that situation in Georgia a year or less later. I questioned the road I was about to take. The Journey... When Rick made the decision that he didn't want to leave me in Georgia and I had to leave the ex and my family. I really was scared to leave Mackenzie behind. I wouldn't live in the state as him anymore. I wouldn't have the safety of my family... Although they looked more unsafe at that time. I knew it would be a better life here. Even once we were married I hoped I chose the right road for Skylar. Then we chose William and retirement and I still questioned my decisions. Now I feel whole about my faith. I kept telling Rick over the summer have faith, pray about it... God will provide and I got the usual yeah whatever... God doesn't pay the bills. But he did! You know how many job interviews Rick has been offered since ITT-CAS? I mean who would have been able to convince him a month ago he would quit ITT-CAS? 

I wrote this 3 years ago and he's been at Northrup Grumman now for 3 years and it provides. It provides him with more than a job. 

When Skylar needed to have that general anesthesia to have her teeth removed I was very scared and freaked out. I was worried. I had been under general anesthesia and every time I've had it was very disorienting to come out of. The tube to help you breathe down your throat etc. Not to mention risks etc.

I had told people about reading about Gianna and how she didn't hold a grudge about her injuries from the attempt to abort her. She gave it all to God. As I said as a teen/ young adult when I read the book I didn't get it. So I started asking in my groups and friends. Its not an easy thing to explain but I tried to do it in my own way and give it my best. I just had to believe he was in control and he wouldn't hurt her. Having that faith has helped me through so much.

So what does this have to do with the days of thanks? What am I thankful for? As I said on Day 1 and Day 2 of this...I am thankful for the broken road that led me to where I am. Sometimes I have control issues and try to take back over and I have to remember to give it God and he will take care of whatever it is that is taxing me. 

I had this all thought out yesterday but didn't have time to write it since I was driving a lot... perhaps it will come back to me later today after the kids are off and the Caffeine hits the joints.

Day of Thanks

My husband wanted an easier way to read them other than Facebook so I told him I would post them here. Every Day I can post a day of thanks.

Lets go back November 1st

Day 1... Thank you God. Its been a long path that I've been down. Sometimes the journey got hard but I held on to faith. I knew it had to lead somewhere. I am thankful for every hill or mountain. I am thankful for every rocky path, every endless burning sky when I just wanted a break. Every blister and worn mile I've been on my feet its been worth the journey...

November 2nd

Day 2. I am thankful I am a Christian. I am thankful for those who taught me faith... Rev Carmack. Barry, Pastor Mark. I am thankful Jesus shed me of my sins and gave his life for me. I am thankful for the Bible for the lessons inside. I am thankful to have purpose and hope. I am thankful for prayer and forgiveness.

November 3rd

Day 3 I am Thankful for my Family! I am thankful for each of my children and my husband. They each bring something to my life that someone else couldn't do.

I will start today's Day 4 on a new blog.

I love this Motivation from Moms

1/11/2012
Start notebooks for each of your children, and together journal the changing world around us. Take note of the tiniest detail in God’s creation. Babies. Snowflakes. Lady Bugs
(take a look its on my sidebar)

I got my family gifts for Christmas I got them journals. I know I will be the one writing the most. I got one for Rick and I and one for the little kids and I. I just googled coupon codes depending on when I bought them and got a great deal! So check out Paper Coterie for a notebook type journal that you can keep forever

A vacation I hope to take this year...

In 2010 I had to attend my step father's funeral near Mobile Alabama. We had never been there before. We visited Daulphin Island but it was dark and we couldn't do anything but there was this really cool Civil War Fort. Fort Gaines Its one of the nations most endangered historical sites! Article : Here
So I would like to go back to Daulphin Island and explore it more and take the ferry over to Gulf Shores Alabama and enjoy a day at the beach. Maybe we could even find a cabin or hotel at Gulf Shores and Ferry over to Daulphin Island. Then after a day or two of enjoying the Gulf of Alabama maybe head over toward Mississippi or Louisiana and visit a long time friend Danielle.

My Family reuniting after more than 6 years.

You see I run a Mommy Support Group Online and I have ran it for 11 years this past October. Danielle was one of my first members. We were just discussing the other day how we met and we have conflicting stories about how I found her or got her to join. Anyways we talk almost every day by phone but we have never met the 10 years we have known each other online and through the phone.  I have met several other mommy loop members including close friend Kristin. I have actually gotten to see her twice! She is from New York, There is Michelle that conveniently lived 20 minutes from me as well as Lindsay. My Mommy loop has been a blessing for me over the years. Most of us have children that are nearly adults or entering into teen phase but some of us are new or once-again mothers as well. If your interested in joining my mommy loop leave me a comment or email at bellassecondlife@gmail.com for more information. Hopefully I get to meet another Mommy Loop member next month so naturally Danielle wants us to meet up soon! Danielle's daughter as well as Kristin's daughter have been talking to mine! Its so neat! I wonder if I had a bunch of money could I fly all my mommy friends to one resort and have a blast or even bring their families? Can you imagine!

Danielle and Darin's kids

Danielle and Darin

Kristin and I in 2010

Kristin and I in 2011

Chelley, Skylar & I