Showing posts with label 2009april. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2009april. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
A telemarketer is having a bad day when
When they call constantly sometimes their end doesn't answer sometimes our end doesn't answer its ALWAYS unknown number unknown caller. They claim they are the visa and master card people. Rick being the person he is has sat there and listened to them for at least 10 minutes. That was several days ago. I decline politely every time I talk to them but the phone calls are getting ridiculous so I just told dude look you call at least twice a day and we've been nice and talked with you. We said no so please take my number off your call list. He said well I am speaking to you now and I said well you talked to my husband and I say no please take my number off your calling list. Hey it could be all in my head but as I hung up I could swear he told me to F off lmao..
This seriously burns me up
A high school student here was killed in an accident a few days ago with her 19 year old boyfriend. There were killed in a car accident because the driver that hit them as they sat parked at a stop light was an illegal immigrant who was driving under the influence. It has been reported in an odd twist of fate Leigh Anna Jimmerson's mother KNEW the person that killed Leigh Anna. The mother is working on a documentary about illegal immigration and how we need to protect these people when they come here. You know what even though the person arrested and charged with killing her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend was driving under the influence and he wouldn't give the police his true identity she still stands by him saying its her faith in God that has taught her tolerance. Oh I pray for this mother! If someone were here illegally and driving drunk... To kill my child I surely wouldn't be protecting them! They would have to protect the person fro ME!! He had a laundry list of priors that he should have been kicked out for! You know we could say its just a bad seed... That he wasn't doing right. But if you get your visa or green card.. OBEY The laws when your here... Then I wouldn't be so pissed off. But I am not just pissed off at the Mexican I am pissed off at the Mother for continuing to stand by him!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Research Points to Genetic Link in Autism
Research Points to Genetic Link in Autism
Scientists Unlock Groundbreaking Clues in Understanding Genetics of Autism
By JOHN DONVAN and CAREN ZUCKER
April 28, 2009—
Scientists have long known that people with autism have brains that work differently -- their brain activity doesn't follow the usual pathways for speech, thought or social interaction. Still, the lingering question has always been: why?
New research published in the online medical journal Nature today offers the best evidence yet that a major part of the answer is genetics.
For the first time, scientists have identified specific genetic mutations that lead to specific abnormalities in how brain cells communicate and carry messages in the brains of those with autism.
"The genes that were discovered appear to be involved in the development of the frontal lobe of the brain ... that is, involved in complex behavior such as social behavior and also abstract thought," said Dr. Geri Dawson, chief officer of Autism Speaks and co-author of the study. "So it helps us understand why people with autism have difficulty in the area of social interaction -- and also why they have a tendency to be so concrete and literal in their interpretation."
Autism, a neurodevelopmental disorder that impairs social interaction, communication and behavior, tends to run in families. According to the National Institutes of Health, families with one autistic child have a one in five chance of having a second child with the disorder.
Scientists have long suspected a genetic underpinning for autism, but have had difficulty finding the link. Previous studies in families with identical twins have found that when one twin has autism, the odds are relatively strong that the other will too.
But the latest research -- one of the largest studies to date -- goes beyond twin studies, using cutting edge technology to examine and compare the DNA from more than 12,000 individuals affected by autism. Scientists pooled data together to gather a sample large enough.
Click Here to Visit the ABCNews.com OnCall+ Autism Center and Get Answers From Top Autism Experts.
Research Holds Promise for Future Cure
Erica Romano of Brooklyn, N.Y., volunteered her family for the study. As a mother of two sons with autism, Romano has strong convictions that autism involves genes.
"I have a third cousin who has Aspergers and a first cousin who has PDD/autism," she told ABC News. "I'm really hoping that this study sheds some light on the genetic factor."
By comparing the DNA of those with and without autism, researchers were able to identify several genes related to autism. Scientists say that autism, a complex disorder, could be caused by as many as 50 genes.
The findings point researchers in the right direction toward developing drugs to treat the disorder.
"What we're discovering in this study is that these genes appear to be affecting similar biochemical pathways in the brain, and so then, if we can develop drugs that can help to repair or restore that pathway, this eventually could be extremely helpful as a treatment," said Dawson.
For parents like Romano, the studies hold promise to change the destiny of those with autism by finding a cure. While it won't come overnight, this research opens the door to understanding the genetic mysteries of autism.
"There are so many steps down the road before we can develop these medications," Dawson said. "But this is the first step -- and without this step, we would never get there."
Copyright © 2009 ABC News Internet Ventures
Scientists Unlock Groundbreaking Clues in Understanding Genetics of Autism
By JOHN DONVAN and CAREN ZUCKER
April 28, 2009—
Scientists have long known that people with autism have brains that work differently -- their brain activity doesn't follow the usual pathways for speech, thought or social interaction. Still, the lingering question has always been: why?
New research published in the online medical journal Nature today offers the best evidence yet that a major part of the answer is genetics.
For the first time, scientists have identified specific genetic mutations that lead to specific abnormalities in how brain cells communicate and carry messages in the brains of those with autism.
"The genes that were discovered appear to be involved in the development of the frontal lobe of the brain ... that is, involved in complex behavior such as social behavior and also abstract thought," said Dr. Geri Dawson, chief officer of Autism Speaks and co-author of the study. "So it helps us understand why people with autism have difficulty in the area of social interaction -- and also why they have a tendency to be so concrete and literal in their interpretation."
Autism, a neurodevelopmental disorder that impairs social interaction, communication and behavior, tends to run in families. According to the National Institutes of Health, families with one autistic child have a one in five chance of having a second child with the disorder.
Scientists have long suspected a genetic underpinning for autism, but have had difficulty finding the link. Previous studies in families with identical twins have found that when one twin has autism, the odds are relatively strong that the other will too.
But the latest research -- one of the largest studies to date -- goes beyond twin studies, using cutting edge technology to examine and compare the DNA from more than 12,000 individuals affected by autism. Scientists pooled data together to gather a sample large enough.
Click Here to Visit the ABCNews.com OnCall+ Autism Center and Get Answers From Top Autism Experts.
Research Holds Promise for Future Cure
Erica Romano of Brooklyn, N.Y., volunteered her family for the study. As a mother of two sons with autism, Romano has strong convictions that autism involves genes.
"I have a third cousin who has Aspergers and a first cousin who has PDD/autism," she told ABC News. "I'm really hoping that this study sheds some light on the genetic factor."
By comparing the DNA of those with and without autism, researchers were able to identify several genes related to autism. Scientists say that autism, a complex disorder, could be caused by as many as 50 genes.
The findings point researchers in the right direction toward developing drugs to treat the disorder.
"What we're discovering in this study is that these genes appear to be affecting similar biochemical pathways in the brain, and so then, if we can develop drugs that can help to repair or restore that pathway, this eventually could be extremely helpful as a treatment," said Dawson.
For parents like Romano, the studies hold promise to change the destiny of those with autism by finding a cure. While it won't come overnight, this research opens the door to understanding the genetic mysteries of autism.
"There are so many steps down the road before we can develop these medications," Dawson said. "But this is the first step -- and without this step, we would never get there."
Copyright © 2009 ABC News Internet Ventures
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Mustang Marriages
"Understanding the Owner's Manual"
1 Corinthians 13: 1-5
1 Instrument Panel (Check the Patience Guage")
2. Safety seat belt usage (kind spouses have secure children)
Nothing gives our kids a greater sense of security than knowing mom and dad love each other.
3. Develop a good relationship with the mechanic.
"Christ is in you, the hope of glory." Colossians 1:27
"The fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, paitence, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control." - Galations 5:22
Jesus called the HOly Spirit "the Counselor" (paraclotas) John 14:26
The Closer you are to Jesus, the closer you'll be to your spouse.
4. What to do when your car overheats (Turn off the air and the selfishness).
5. How to change a flat (blow outs and blow ups)
v. 5 "Keeps no record" (logizomai) = an accounting word used to describe a book keeper who enters an item on a ledger.
Love
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
So Mark our Preacher spoke to us just what my favorite verse means. He said I say this at lots & lots of Weddings, but I never talk about how it applys to current day marriage in Sermons till today. This was the bible verse that was supposed to be read at our Wedding but as many people know the Preacher that did our ceremony forgot the first half of the ceremony. Rick and I in our nervousness or whatever totally missed that he forgot... Only James figured it out (the one who DOESN'T and HASN'T Gone to regular church services... haha. So I always say its our vow we say to each other. How little did I know that I didn't follow the vows as much as I thought.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. What its saying love is Paitent in order to have unconditional true love it is paitent (using Patient as a verb).
Defintion of Patient Its used as an Adjective in the english language but Greek's used it as a Verb. The verse in the Bible meaning its a description of what love is... Love is Patient... In order to have love you must be patient. In order to have love you must be kind. Then it goes into the negatives that you must not possess in order to have love. You cannot envy, boast, be proud, rude, selfish or easily angered (aka being Patient you cannot be easily angered) in order to enjoy love. Mark says you fall out of trees not out of love. You cannot wait for the feelings to show themselves to you. You have to make the commitment be faithful and try for the commitment and the commandments of love will be there.
So there are a few points I need to pray about and work on. Outside of Love Dare...I don't know about you but I want the maxium mileage out of my Mustang and I want to hear Varooom not Squeak...
http://www.willowbrook.org/
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Panoply
As soon as we have pictures I will be posting them but for now Rick says I have the camera's and well they aren't on my desk except the old one lol... so when I round up all three and upload the pictures I will be posting them on this very post..
http://www.panoply.org/
This morning I knew the Catholic Church was having a Yard Sale and we checked several others and then finally went to the Catholic Church and not much to speak of. I did pick up some really inexpensive but very unique clothes for William. The owner told me they were her oldest sons clothes as a baby. The age of her oldest son? 33... One of them was a NASA suit :) That was at a community yard sale.
Then we went out to Panoply it was hot today and there was alot to do and see at Big Spring Park. My body isn't used to that much walking either but I fought through it and drank plenty of water. We enjoy going to the festival... and better yet the best part of festivals (other than family time?) Funnel Cakes...
Pictures of Skylar playing drums...
http://www.panoply.org/
This morning I knew the Catholic Church was having a Yard Sale and we checked several others and then finally went to the Catholic Church and not much to speak of. I did pick up some really inexpensive but very unique clothes for William. The owner told me they were her oldest sons clothes as a baby. The age of her oldest son? 33... One of them was a NASA suit :) That was at a community yard sale.
Then we went out to Panoply it was hot today and there was alot to do and see at Big Spring Park. My body isn't used to that much walking either but I fought through it and drank plenty of water. We enjoy going to the festival... and better yet the best part of festivals (other than family time?) Funnel Cakes...
Pictures of Skylar playing drums...
Inside the mind of a child with autism
Inside the mind of a child with autism
Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse April 16, 2009 02:43 PM
The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 1 out of 150 kids have autism, an increase from previous estimates. With autism now more common than pediatric cancer, diabetes, and AIDS combined, if your child isn't on the autism spectrum, chances are good that he or she knows (or will eventually know) someone who is.
April is National Autism Awareness month. We've discussed autism in general and resources for children and adults with ASD, but how do you help your child interact or socialize with someone on the spectrum?
Start by shattering the Rainman myth: Autism may be characterized by varying degrees of impaired social interaction or communication, but a little insight can go a long way toward making social situations easier. For example: "Birthday parties are an ideal way to introduce an autistic kid and his parents to your home," Paul Collins writes in Cookie Magazine, where he offers tips on hosting an child with autism. "They're the stuff he finds logical: presents, cake, things to climb on. What's not to get?"
Ellen Notbohm is the author of Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew, Ten Things Your Student with Autism Wishes You Knew, and The Autism Trail Guide: Postcards from the Road Less Traveled, all ForeWord Book of the Year finalists. She is also co-author of the award-winning 1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders, a columnist for Autism Asperger’s Digest and Children’s Voice, and a contributor to numerous publications and websites around the world.
The mother of a child with autism and another with ADHD, Notbohm's books provide an enlightening glimpse into the minds of children on the spectrum, and have been an eye-opener for many people who are coping with a new ASD diagnosis or wondering how to interact with a child with autism. This excerpt is from Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew and is posted here with permission from the author (please contact her for permission to reproduce in any way, including re-posting on the Internet).
Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew
By Ellen Notbohm
Some days it seems the only predictable thing about it is the unpredictability. The only consistent attribute -- the inconsistency. There is little argument on any level but that autism is baffling, even to those who spend their lives around it. The child who lives with autism may look “normal” but his behavior can be perplexing and downright difficult.
Autism was once thought an “incurable” disorder, but that notion is crumbling in the face knowledge and understanding that is increasing even as you read this. Every day, individuals with autism are showing us that they can overcome, compensate for and otherwise manage many of autism’s most challenging characteristics. Equipping those around our children with simple understanding of autism’s most basic elements has a tremendous impact on their ability to journey towards productive, independent adulthood.
Autism is an extremely complex disorder but for purposes of this one article, we can distill its myriad characteristics into four fundamental areas: sensory processing challenges, speech/language delays and impairments, the elusive social interaction skills and whole child/self-esteem issues. And though these four elements may be common to many children, keep front-of-mind the fact that autism is a spectrum disorder: no two (or ten or twenty) children with autism will be completely alike. Every child will be at a different point on the spectrum. And, just as importantly – every parent, teacher and caregiver will be at a different point on the spectrum. Child or adult, each will have a unique set of needs.
Here are ten things every child with autism wishes you knew:
1.) I am first and foremost a child. My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)? Those may be things that I see first when I meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all about.
As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out a single characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don’t think I “can do it,” my natural response will be: Why try?
2.) My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself. Here is why a “simple” trip to the grocery store may be hell for me:
My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today’s special. Musak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can’t filter all the input and I’m in overload!
My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn’t quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn’t showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they’re mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia….I can’t sort it all out. I am dangerously nauseated.
Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it buzzes and hums. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. The pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing -- the space seems to be constantly changing. There’s glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may compensate with "tunnel vision"), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive senses, and now I can’t even tell where my body is in space.
3.) Please remember to distinguish between won’t (I choose not to) and can’t (I am not able to). Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn’t that I don’t listen to instructions. It’s that I can’t understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: “*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*………” Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: “Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It’s time to go to lunch.” This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.
4.) I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It’s very confusing for me when you say, “Hold your horses, cowboy!” when what you really mean is “Please stop running.” Don’t tell me something is a “piece of cake” when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is “this will be easy for you to do.” When you say “Jamie really burned up the track,” I see a kid playing with matches. Please just tell me “Jamie ran very fast.”
Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.
5.) Please be patient with my limited vocabulary. It’s hard for me to tell you what I need when I don’t know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.
Or, there’s a flip side to this: I may sound like a “little professor” or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is called “echolalia.” I don’t necessarily understand the context or the terminology I’m using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.
6.) Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.
A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day-timer, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities, helps me manage my time and meet your expectations.
I won’t lose the need for a visual schedule as I get older, but my “level of representation” may change. Before I can read, I need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. As I get older, a combination of words and pictures may work, and later still, just words.
7.) Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can’t do. Like any other human, I can’t learn in an environment where I’m constantly made to feel that I’m not good enough and that I need “fixing.” Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however “constructive,” becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one “right” way to do most things.
8.) Please help me with social interactions. It may look like I don’t want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it’s just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I’m delighted to be included.
I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end. I don’t know how to “read” facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so I appreciate ongoing coaching in proper social responses. For example, if I laugh when Emily falls off the slide, it’s not that I think it’s funny. It’s that I don’t know the proper response. Teach me to say “Are you OK?”
9.) Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.
Try to remember that all behavior is a form of communication. It tells you, when my words cannot, how I perceive something that is happening in my environment.
Parents, keep in mind as well: persistent behavior may have an underlying medical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities, sleep disorders and gastrointestinal problems can all have profound effects on behavior.
10.) Love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, “If he would just……” and “Why can’t she…..” You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn’t like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you -- I am worth it.
And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I’m not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won’t be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.
They may have had autism too.
The answer to Alzheimer’s, the enigma of extraterrestrial life -- what future achievements from today’s children with autism, children like me, lie ahead?
All that I might become won’t happen without you as my foundation. Be my advocate, be my friend, and we’ll see just how far I can go.
© 2005 Ellen Notbohm.To contact Ellen or explore her work, please visit http://www.ellennotbohm.com.
Lylah M. Alphonse is a Globe staff member and mom and stepmom to five kids. She writes about juggling career and parenthood at The 36-Hour Day and blogs at Write. Edit. Repeat. E-mail her at lalphonse@globe.com.
Posted by Lylah M. Alphonse April 16, 2009 02:43 PM
The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 1 out of 150 kids have autism, an increase from previous estimates. With autism now more common than pediatric cancer, diabetes, and AIDS combined, if your child isn't on the autism spectrum, chances are good that he or she knows (or will eventually know) someone who is.
April is National Autism Awareness month. We've discussed autism in general and resources for children and adults with ASD, but how do you help your child interact or socialize with someone on the spectrum?
Start by shattering the Rainman myth: Autism may be characterized by varying degrees of impaired social interaction or communication, but a little insight can go a long way toward making social situations easier. For example: "Birthday parties are an ideal way to introduce an autistic kid and his parents to your home," Paul Collins writes in Cookie Magazine, where he offers tips on hosting an child with autism. "They're the stuff he finds logical: presents, cake, things to climb on. What's not to get?"
Ellen Notbohm is the author of Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew, Ten Things Your Student with Autism Wishes You Knew, and The Autism Trail Guide: Postcards from the Road Less Traveled, all ForeWord Book of the Year finalists. She is also co-author of the award-winning 1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders, a columnist for Autism Asperger’s Digest and Children’s Voice, and a contributor to numerous publications and websites around the world.
The mother of a child with autism and another with ADHD, Notbohm's books provide an enlightening glimpse into the minds of children on the spectrum, and have been an eye-opener for many people who are coping with a new ASD diagnosis or wondering how to interact with a child with autism. This excerpt is from Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew and is posted here with permission from the author (please contact her for permission to reproduce in any way, including re-posting on the Internet).
Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew
By Ellen Notbohm
Some days it seems the only predictable thing about it is the unpredictability. The only consistent attribute -- the inconsistency. There is little argument on any level but that autism is baffling, even to those who spend their lives around it. The child who lives with autism may look “normal” but his behavior can be perplexing and downright difficult.
Autism was once thought an “incurable” disorder, but that notion is crumbling in the face knowledge and understanding that is increasing even as you read this. Every day, individuals with autism are showing us that they can overcome, compensate for and otherwise manage many of autism’s most challenging characteristics. Equipping those around our children with simple understanding of autism’s most basic elements has a tremendous impact on their ability to journey towards productive, independent adulthood.
Autism is an extremely complex disorder but for purposes of this one article, we can distill its myriad characteristics into four fundamental areas: sensory processing challenges, speech/language delays and impairments, the elusive social interaction skills and whole child/self-esteem issues. And though these four elements may be common to many children, keep front-of-mind the fact that autism is a spectrum disorder: no two (or ten or twenty) children with autism will be completely alike. Every child will be at a different point on the spectrum. And, just as importantly – every parent, teacher and caregiver will be at a different point on the spectrum. Child or adult, each will have a unique set of needs.
Here are ten things every child with autism wishes you knew:
1.) I am first and foremost a child. My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)? Those may be things that I see first when I meet you, but they are not necessarily what you are all about.
As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out a single characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don’t think I “can do it,” my natural response will be: Why try?
2.) My sensory perceptions are disordered. Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical. It his means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself. Here is why a “simple” trip to the grocery store may be hell for me:
My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loudspeaker booms today’s special. Musak whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can’t filter all the input and I’m in overload!
My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn’t quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn’t showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they’re mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia….I can’t sort it all out. I am dangerously nauseated.
Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first sense to become overstimulated. The fluorescent light is not only too bright, it buzzes and hums. The room seems to pulsate and it hurts my eyes. The pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing -- the space seems to be constantly changing. There’s glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may compensate with "tunnel vision"), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this affects my vestibular and proprioceptive senses, and now I can’t even tell where my body is in space.
3.) Please remember to distinguish between won’t (I choose not to) and can’t (I am not able to). Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges for me. It isn’t that I don’t listen to instructions. It’s that I can’t understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: “*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*………” Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: “Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It’s time to go to lunch.” This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.
4.) I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It’s very confusing for me when you say, “Hold your horses, cowboy!” when what you really mean is “Please stop running.” Don’t tell me something is a “piece of cake” when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is “this will be easy for you to do.” When you say “Jamie really burned up the track,” I see a kid playing with matches. Please just tell me “Jamie ran very fast.”
Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres, inference, metaphors, allusions and sarcasm are lost on me.
5.) Please be patient with my limited vocabulary. It’s hard for me to tell you what I need when I don’t know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.
Or, there’s a flip side to this: I may sound like a “little professor” or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is called “echolalia.” I don’t necessarily understand the context or the terminology I’m using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.
6.) Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.
A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day-timer, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities, helps me manage my time and meet your expectations.
I won’t lose the need for a visual schedule as I get older, but my “level of representation” may change. Before I can read, I need a visual schedule with photographs or simple drawings. As I get older, a combination of words and pictures may work, and later still, just words.
7.) Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can’t do. Like any other human, I can’t learn in an environment where I’m constantly made to feel that I’m not good enough and that I need “fixing.” Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however “constructive,” becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one “right” way to do most things.
8.) Please help me with social interactions. It may look like I don’t want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it’s just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I’m delighted to be included.
I do best in structured play activities that have a clear beginning and end. I don’t know how to “read” facial expressions, body language or the emotions of others, so I appreciate ongoing coaching in proper social responses. For example, if I laugh when Emily falls off the slide, it’s not that I think it’s funny. It’s that I don’t know the proper response. Teach me to say “Are you OK?”
9.) Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.
Try to remember that all behavior is a form of communication. It tells you, when my words cannot, how I perceive something that is happening in my environment.
Parents, keep in mind as well: persistent behavior may have an underlying medical cause. Food allergies and sensitivities, sleep disorders and gastrointestinal problems can all have profound effects on behavior.
10.) Love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, “If he would just……” and “Why can’t she…..” You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn’t like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you -- I am worth it.
And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I’m not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won’t be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.
They may have had autism too.
The answer to Alzheimer’s, the enigma of extraterrestrial life -- what future achievements from today’s children with autism, children like me, lie ahead?
All that I might become won’t happen without you as my foundation. Be my advocate, be my friend, and we’ll see just how far I can go.
© 2005 Ellen Notbohm.To contact Ellen or explore her work, please visit http://www.ellennotbohm.com.
Lylah M. Alphonse is a Globe staff member and mom and stepmom to five kids. She writes about juggling career and parenthood at The 36-Hour Day and blogs at Write. Edit. Repeat. E-mail her at lalphonse@globe.com.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Today
I finally wasn't awake all night LOL. I woke up at midnight (normal pregnancy potty time) then I woke up again at 4 am. I threw up and my hip was throbbing. So I laid in bed while Rick got ready for formation. I just laid on my heating pad and tried to go back to sleep but couldn't. I finally fell asleep and woke up at 5:33 panic'd about Rick not being at formation (he was already gone lol) Then I was mad because I need sleep and I knew my alarm would go off at 6 am. Normal 6 am schedule is to get Skylar's clothes out for school then get her out of bed, fed her, dress her, make sure I can send her into public without DFACS being called or embarrassing myself (it wouldn't embarrass her or Rick in the least lol) Between being sick and in pain while Rick is on no PT profile he has been able to help me with her she is a slow goose in the morning. Then either I have time with Rick but this morning I laid on the heating pad and eventually went back to sleep woke up very very sweaty yuck! So I think I will take it easy if I can today.
Love Dare and Parenting
So I am on Day 6 of Love Dare me thinks lol... http://bellaslovedare.blogspot.com/
I apparently inspired a friend of mine that lives locally to also do it. We both thought it would be an interesting idea if we had a parenting love dare... I was wondering if I can get some help coming up with daily dares that possibly fit all ages of our children (or not) and see if we can do our own little parenting love dare?
I apparently inspired a friend of mine that lives locally to also do it. We both thought it would be an interesting idea if we had a parenting love dare... I was wondering if I can get some help coming up with daily dares that possibly fit all ages of our children (or not) and see if we can do our own little parenting love dare?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Military WIfe
I tend to say I am not a good Military Wife because I feel guilty for not supporting in this final year of your service. I am not a good Military Wife because I am not cooking for the FRG or bringing sandwhiches up to you while your working on on CQ Duty. I think I have written before when I look amongst MY Ranks.. Ranks of Officer Wives that stand tall, PFC wives that make sure food is kept on the table with four hungry mouths to feed on a meagar paycheck. They have to work usually under those circumstances. I didn't want to work while you were deployed worried about dealing with the stress of it all. I read stories and wonder how much a World War, Korean, or Vietnam war wife went through. I realize what you've done on your deployment. How easy you did make things for me. How all I had to do was hold on, be there, be faithful, and hold our house together. I see wives here that cheat, lie, and just don't support their husband. Whether he is a Soldier or not.
I also see the other side of the coin where the Soldiers don't realize what we go through waiting. Waiting for you to call, write, send any inkling that your alive. If they do call its about the Army and what we need to do for you over here or how disconnected ya'll get being over there. We often hear the Civilian attitude how they do the same. Maybe in some ways but if they've never been there then they just don't KNOW. They act like we are dramatic that we can get through it. When we fight to wake up the next day so the kids can eat. There are some who don't know how we get through a weekend and some don't comprehend a 6 month deployment, 8 month deployment, 12 month deployment, 18 month deployment... or longer... That we are lucky to see you for two weeks total out of that entire year.
It all boils down to the LOVE and Pride we have for our hero. Its what we do to make sure you do your job well, you let us continue to have freedom and you come home safe.
Many days I am sure us wives want to throw in the towel because your being "disconnected" that your struggling with God knows what.. We are struggling too and we can't see how your struggling as well. Thats when we get stressed out, lonely, crying, and frustrated and we have to gather up strength and push down the pain to stay strong for you and the kids. I was lucky to have two ends of the spectrum those who show me how to get it done and how NOT to do it. But that was just a part of it. Having that love for you to come home too (waiting for you to come home too it) is what gets us through each deployment.
I may not be a GREAT Military Wife but I can be a STRONG Military Wife.
The Military Wife VIDEO
I also see the other side of the coin where the Soldiers don't realize what we go through waiting. Waiting for you to call, write, send any inkling that your alive. If they do call its about the Army and what we need to do for you over here or how disconnected ya'll get being over there. We often hear the Civilian attitude how they do the same. Maybe in some ways but if they've never been there then they just don't KNOW. They act like we are dramatic that we can get through it. When we fight to wake up the next day so the kids can eat. There are some who don't know how we get through a weekend and some don't comprehend a 6 month deployment, 8 month deployment, 12 month deployment, 18 month deployment... or longer... That we are lucky to see you for two weeks total out of that entire year.
It all boils down to the LOVE and Pride we have for our hero. Its what we do to make sure you do your job well, you let us continue to have freedom and you come home safe.
Many days I am sure us wives want to throw in the towel because your being "disconnected" that your struggling with God knows what.. We are struggling too and we can't see how your struggling as well. Thats when we get stressed out, lonely, crying, and frustrated and we have to gather up strength and push down the pain to stay strong for you and the kids. I was lucky to have two ends of the spectrum those who show me how to get it done and how NOT to do it. But that was just a part of it. Having that love for you to come home too (waiting for you to come home too it) is what gets us through each deployment.
I may not be a GREAT Military Wife but I can be a STRONG Military Wife.
The Military Wife VIDEO
Updates on the Family
Rick returned to work. Monday he had Peridontal Surgery and was on rest for three days. He's still hurting a bit and not able to chew correctly. Poor baby. My sciatic nerve is still hurting. I woke up at 1 am with a knot the size of a softball in my back. Rick literally fell asleep with his fist putting pressure on it and I could go back to sleep for a little while. Now my hip is just stiff and sore... Ugh its going to be a rough 100 days... I am doing Love Dare http://bellaslovedare.blogspot.com/
Alex sent a brief email to let us know he was still alive and got yahoo messenger. James has the day off today and he's still asleep he was a bit grumpy yesterday. Skylar went on a field trip today to the Railroad Museum and I feel HORRIBLE about not being able to go with her. Little William is still cooking away I went to the OB on Wednesday and he is measuring two weeks ahead and his heart rate is 150 heart beats per minute. http://anotherrecruitontheway.blogspot.com/
Alex sent a brief email to let us know he was still alive and got yahoo messenger. James has the day off today and he's still asleep he was a bit grumpy yesterday. Skylar went on a field trip today to the Railroad Museum and I feel HORRIBLE about not being able to go with her. Little William is still cooking away I went to the OB on Wednesday and he is measuring two weeks ahead and his heart rate is 150 heart beats per minute. http://anotherrecruitontheway.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Short updates
News in the Baby's blog
I am on Day four of my Love Dare blog... are you reading along? Trying things out?
ahhh lack of sleep and I forgot what to write... Anyways :)
I am on Day four of my Love Dare blog... are you reading along? Trying things out?
ahhh lack of sleep and I forgot what to write... Anyways :)
Monday, April 20, 2009
Ft Campbell Today
Today is the day of Rick's start of his procedures done on his mouth. I think they are going to do a couple of local's then he will need the good juice. So we are a bit nervous with it all. We had a long day yesterday we went to church and are enjoying the Mustang Marriage message that Pastor Mark is talking about. Its about small maintence before huge repairs. Its true.. we've known it. Then after church we drove up here and it was a long drive with a lot of hard rain and we saw two bad accidents on the way. Pray for these families. We will be heading home today after enjoying a little shopping or window looking and some lunch and swimming. We shouldn't be stopping in Nashville except to stretch our legs. Oh yeah and last night I literally slept the entire night without coughing... strange huh? Hopefully since my antibiotics are gone that the infection is clearing up.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Scary Night
Wednesday I developed this bronchitis it seemed over night it just hit me. Ever since then I wake up in coughing fits at 11-1 am and 4 am everyday. Last night I woke up at 10:30 and literally coughed until 1 am, Its almost like I have pregnancy onset asthma attacks. I coughed and coughed and I couldn't get air in between. I tried everything I couldn't even suck on a cough drop long enough for it to sooth because I would cough and choke on it. Of course being 6 months pregnant with an already bad bladder I would pee myself everytime I would cough and have a fit. I know its TMI but It was a very long night and if I could have breathed I would have hailed fire and brimstone at Rick who seemed to wake up with the wha wha? What do you need? Then go back to sleep. At 2 am I had to finally give in and take the Phenergran with Codeine that the OB prescribed but the Codeine is so dangerous I was afraid I wouldn't wake up or I would stop breathing. At many points in the middle of the night I thought about calling the OB. Tonight now we go to Kentucky and I am afraid of being so far from home. I guess I will have to take the Codeine with me. It just seemed all night I couldn't catch my breath. During the day I don't really cough a lot. Please pray that the baby is safe from the Codeine and that if I have to take it again no harm will come and I can breathe well till I come home.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Motivation for Moms
Be an example to your children of one who loves her neighbor as herself through random acts of kindness. Lend a helping hand to a busy neighbor, or take time out of a busy day to simply say hello....
I just caught this on the widget of my blog and how True. Skylar loves all our neighbors and wants to see inside each of their houses (creepy 6 year old I raise she must get it from Rick lmao) I will have to extend my hand since I am still working on getting the voice back more often.
I just caught this on the widget of my blog and how True. Skylar loves all our neighbors and wants to see inside each of their houses (creepy 6 year old I raise she must get it from Rick lmao) I will have to extend my hand since I am still working on getting the voice back more often.
Today
I went to the AER car show and then got my fake nails pulled off to reveal such healthy long ones underneath what a shocker lol. Thank you baby Will. Now I am going to lay down and work on my love dare... I updated my bloggy about it Bellaslovedare.blogspot.com.
IE keeps being a crapper on me so I can't make it fancy like the others.
IE keeps being a crapper on me so I can't make it fancy like the others.
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