When we moved into the neighborhood my neighbor has a 3/4 year old and a 10ish year old. The little boy runs to "Greet" the day and say "goodbye" to his sister. Its more like Bye Sister.... Bye. Come back don't leave!! Its so adorable and I often thought to myself YUP this is what's going to happen to me. Well its a short walk to the bus stop at the end of the road and you can see it from my house. On the right hand side there is a house where in the past year. We have never seen anyone there, anyone leave, anyone come except to mow the law and take care of the newspapers that pile up. I think there were a few Christmas lights. So we joke its going to be one of those houses that will be mysterious as our children grow and they will make stories up of this house at the bus stop.
This year Rick carries William out to the bus stop and we always stay out there with Skylar for her protection. Last year Skylar would play with the 10 or so kids out there. Now she just stays with William. The boy next door still screams for his sister and William waits for the bus to arrive. For the 5 or so minute wait they run around on the sidewalk or up and down the mysterious house's drive way. Its steep so it can be quite a challenge for my diapered fat thighed boy lol. Then as she departs on the bus he does a sad wave and gets real quiet. Then its just him and I for the day.
At 2:45pm its time for the bus to arrive again and we walk to the bus stop (Will & I) to greet Skylar from her day at school. He runs down the side walk to the bus stop and gives an excited wave and sister a big hug when she gets off of the bus. Sometimes he points to the bus and calls out to it. Sometimes he gets distracted by the Military Planes or Chinooks. Everyday she asks to go to a friends house and hte days that I permit he gets so confused that the big bus came and still he doesn't have his sister.I figure soon he will be the little boy at the end of the side walk screaming for his sister.... Maybe the boy next door can help chime in.
Well there wasn't an opportunity to buy something for my husband. He did pick out a Count doll (from Seasme Street) cause he thought it was cute LOL. So maybe I will do day 3 and 4 today. I need to go to the store for some index cards and stickers for the upcoming consignment sale.
Contact you spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.
Background:
When you first fell in love being thoughtful came natural to you. You honestly confessed "I can't stop thinking of you." Once marriage occurs, that begins to change. The hunt is over, and the pursuing is done. Motivation for thoughtfulness cools. You drift into focusing on other things. After a while you begin to unintentionally ignore the needs of your mate.
Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy in relationships. Love requires thoughtfulness on both sides. Love teaches you how to meet in the middle, to respect and appreciate how your spouse uniquely thinks. A husband should listen to his wife and learn to be considerate of her unspoken message. A wife should learn to communicate truthfully and not say one thing while meaning another.
Love thinks before speaking. Great marriages come from Great Thinking!
So the area of town I live in is only known for the school shooting that happened last year. A 15 year old shot and killed a 14 year old boy and now he is going to be tried for as an adult. I live off of County Line Road and it literally means that its the end of the county. So once upon a time I am sure this was 99% farm land in the last 10 years anyways. Now of course where there is farms failing there are developers ready to eat the profit. Insert my house. Well on the major road off of County Line is the road that leads to the airport ... Rick, the family, and I were driving along and we saw a woman very thin. I could see almost every bone in her chest and arms, very tanned, long hair and she was wearing little to nothing. We just kinda snickered at her and I figured she was looking for some Meth. Well Rick just called and said he saw the same lady flagging down cars on the side of the road. There are NO houses in this area its industrial, hotels, the airport, and other businesses. So I said well maybe I better just ask the police what's up. I called the city dispatch and she had saw the same lady and described her to me but told me I didn't have the right dispatch I had to call Huntsville dispatch because the lines are drawn real weird around here. I called them and they said nope that's the cities dispatch. So I called her back and she told me to call someone else. Then he told me to call another person and finally they said they would keep an eye out. I mean there is nothing they can do but its close enough to my house and around too many empty buildings to NOT be concerned. So I had to giggle at my working woman and trying to be nice to the police to tell them about our little encounters with her and the fact vehicles are always going behind the old liqueur store near here. When's the last time you were a good citizen and what did you do?
Skylar was playing with someone that lives near by she was in her class last year and Skylar LOVES her and wants to live with her and be her sister. The problem: They are allowed way to much freedom. The mother of the child doesn't watch them. I was told they were allowed to walk around the neighborhood (maybe allowed isn't the word but they DID walk around the neighborhood) and I have also been over there picking up Skylar and Skylar was in the trampoline by herself and complained the girl was over at her neighbors the whole time. So Rick and I put serious restrictions on letting her go over there. A few weeks ago I spoke to the mother about not letting Skylar play outside without an adult closely watching them. Its my rule at home so I expect Skylar to follow it. Her friend isn't allowed to play over here (her mother says so.)
Now a child seems to have discipline problems and mistreats Skylar. I am not seeing any discipline happening. Rick says Skylar isn't allowed to play there. Skylar doesn't understand when I tell her no she just asks what she did wrong and what can she do to earn the priviledge again. I don't want to punish Skylar for the other child's (or their parents) actions. My therapist said its not always my place to come to Skylar's rescue and to let her work out the problems with her friends on her own. SO what is the answer?
Today is our day for worship and its funny last time I did love dare our Pastor was doing the Mustang Marriage and now he is doing the 40 days of love sermon series.
Love Dare #3
The Dare:
Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says "I was thinking of you today."
Background:
We live in a world enamored by "self." The culture around us teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, and personal desires as the top priority. The goal it seems, is to chase the highest level of happiness possible. The danger from this kind of thinking becomes apparent once inside a relationship.
If there is a word that basically means the opposite of love, it is selfishness. Unfortunately it is something that is ingrained into every person from birth. You can often see it in the way adults mistreat one another. Almost every sinful act every committed can be traced back to a selfish motive. You cannot point out how many ways your spouse is selfish without admitting that you can be selfish too.
Loving couples are bent on taking care of the rother flawed human they get to share life with. One ironic aspect of selfishness is that even generous actions can be selfish if the motive is to gain bragging rights or receive a reward. The bottom line is that you either make decisions out of love for others or love for yourself. Choosing to love your mate will cause you to say "no" to what you want so you can say "yes" to what they need. That is putting the happiness of your partner above your own.
Nobody knows you as well as your mate. And that means that no one will be quicker to recognize a change when you deliberately start sacrificing your wants for his needs to make sure his needs are met.
You partner also has the challenge of loving a selfish person. Determine to be the first to demonstrate real love to them, and when it is all done you'll both be more fulfilled.
Yesterday on top of not being negative to my honey I was also supposed to do a good deed. I won't post my good deed but the day did get away from me so it will push on till tomorrow and I REALLY need work on my mouth :)
1. Do you have any nicknames and if so how did it come about? Bella came from a show in the 90's I believe it was called Young Ameicans the character in the show was strong willed. I wanted to name my daughter that (Realize my only daughters name is Skylar) Then I started using the screen name Bella Poet and people just started calling me Bella. My old friends from way back when always called me KK which was my initals.
2. What is your birth order amongst your siblings? Natural sisters I am the baby, between natural and half I am the middle. Adopted siblings I am the youngest
3. In a movie of your life, who would play your significant other? Brian McNamara or Drew Fuller
4. What is currently your favorite song? Lead Me
5. Are you saving your money for anything right now? Big or small purchase? Car, Fence, House Decor, Clothes
1. If you could be a fugitive from the law for whatever reason, what would your crime be? Kidnapping
2. How long do you think you will be a military family? Once a Military Family always a Military Family. My husband was in the Military for 24 years. He had his first marriage and two children before myself and children came along 3 years ago.
3. What’s your favorite recipe? Hungarian Goolash and cinnamon tea cakes
4. What would you want your last five words to be when you leave this life? I love you very much.
5. Where do you hope to retire? We are here in Huntsville.
Love Dare day 2. We might go to the Star Wars Experience at the Space and Rocket center. Then its Brendan's first birthday party. Lets pray for today to be a better day.
Love Dare # 2
The dare:
In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected act of kindness.
Background:
Kindness is love in action. Kindness is how love ACTS to maximize a positive circumstance. Patience avoids a problem, kindness creates a blessing. These two sides of love are cornerstones on which many other attributes build.
When you are operating kindness, you're careful how you treat your spouse, never being unnecessarily harsh. You are sensitive and tender. Even if you have to say hard things, you will bend over backwards to make your rebuke/challenge easier to hear.
Kindness inspires you to be agreeable instead of being obstinate, reluctant, or stubborn, you cooperate, you stay flexible. Rather than complaining, you look for reasons to compromise and accommodate.
Kindness thinks ahead. The kind husband/wife will be the one who greets first, smiles first, and forgives first. They do not require the other to get his/her act together before showing love. When acting from kindness, you see the need, then make your move.
Wasn't kindness one of the first things that drew you to your SO? Weren't you expecting to enjoy his/her kindness for the rest of your life? Didn't your mate feel the same way about you? Even though years can take the edge off of desire, your enjoyment is still linked to the daily level of kindness expressed.
6:45 amPerhaps I should have started out my day with a prayer. I think I already screwed up the day. Instead I was rudely awoken by the bright light and the pouncing of my one year old as I dreamed about Trinity United Church (The church I was raised in and how it USED to be).
Rick was negative on Skylar since the dawn broke on the day and it gets on my nerves because I wish he was that assertive with all the children. I know I tend to be over protective of my own children and its an instinct for me but when he deserves back up I will give it to him. When he treats the other kids the same I will back him up. I tell him often that Skylar will resent him for this.
So it started at the breakfast table since I have to wait an hour to eat due to my medication I can't eat breakfast with the family. He made eggs and toast for everyone. Of course James was asleep on the couch, Skylar played around with her eggs I guess for a little while then complained they were too cold. Upon going into the microwave then they were too hot. Quite possibly she just didn't want eggs I am not denying it. But he was just yelling at her over and over again. Instead of saying what needed to be said and leaving it alone. So I intervened told him enough yelling. He got his point across and she can't say anything if he was just going to stand there over her and yell at her. I know I wouldn't. So did I mess up on my first dare not to say anything negative? Thats walking a fine line
Day 2 7:29 am Yesterday was a very trying day. Rick lashed out at me and said some very hurtful things and I did watch what I say back to him and was trying not to put him down.
It looks like I need to try Love Dare again. I am just getting to a frustrated point and I don't see a solution so maybe because I didn't finish it the first time. With therapy, depression medication and Love Dare maybe this time I can seek the truth. Who else has done Love Dare? Did you finish it? Was it successful? Are you doing it now?
Rick is off all day tomorrow for me to remember Love Dare Day #1.
Today's Dare
The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose to not say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret.
I read Gianna Aborted and Lived to Tell about it. Years and years ago.
Http://www.amazon.com/Gianna-Aborted-Lived-Tell-About/dp/1561793426
She talks about giving it to God etc. I never understood it. When Mackenzie had to go live with the grand bitch I just said God has a reason and its not for me to question it. I mean YOU know how freaked I get about Skylar. She had to have general anesthesia at the age of what 3 or 4 I don't remember to have some teeth removed. I FREAKED big time. I still questioned how to give it to God etc etc. But I did my best. I heard Jesus Take the Wheel (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Oz64m4Akmw&feature=related) and it kinda put me at a calm and I just promised God if he helped me with Skylar that I would give back to him. I would lead my life in another direction. My prayer and promise was a lot like the words to the song. Then when I left that situation in Georgia a year or less later. I questioned the road I was about to take. The Journey... When Rick made the decision that he didn't want to leave me in Georgia and I had to leave the ex and my family. I really was scared to leave Mackenzie behind. I wouldn't live in the state as him anymore. I wouldn't have the safety of my family... Although they looked more unsafe at that time. I knew it would be a better life here. Even once we were married I hoped I chose the right road for Skylar. Then we chose William and retirement and I still questioned my decisions. Now I feel whole about my faith. I kept telling Rick over the summer have faith, pray about it... God will provide and I got the usual yeah whatever... God doesn't pay the bills. But he did! You know how many job interviews Rick has been offered since ITT-CAS? I mean who would have been able to convince him a month ago he would quit ITT-CAS?
I guess I got a little preachy but Willowbrook, My Faith, and God really have renewed something in my soul lately...
Well on Tuesday I got up put my nice jeans on (Ok so they were a $1 at a yard sale, but they were Avenue, they were soft, and they fit comfy)... I went to Chuck E Cheese to meet the rest of the Military Play group. After Chuck E Cheese we went to Party City, Babies R Us, Michael's and even Rick ran into Target. After we got home I baked cupcakes (Cinnamon Tea Cake) and then went across the street to my neighbor Brittany's. Every time I get into sunlight I sneeze. So I have to crouch down (so I don't wet myself) and pull the cupcakes, ice cream and my coke away from my body so they are germ infested.... I go to Brittany's and we have a good time. Eating cupcakes, opening presents etc... I come home go the bathroom and it looks like a bomb blew out the back of my jeans. I am not talking I split the seam. I am talking about you clearly see my butt! I put pajama pants on and marched over to Brittany and asked if she noticed my hole. I mean crater... She said sorry honey I don't check out your ass LOL. I was mortified and wondered how long it had been there... Like since Chuck E Cheese?
Now I mourn my comfy jeans and had to get an old navy credit card to be able to afford another pair which aren't so comfy and nice *wah*
Worry-Free Wednesday is where I list (you can do this literally or mentally) everything I worry about & I turn it over to God. I don't worry about it any more. Because worrying is the opposite of having faith & we are instructed to have faith. linked from http://sandmountaingirl.blogspot.com/
1. I will try not to worry about money and paying bills because. God will provide and has.
2. I will try not to worry about my family because they are being taken care of by HIM.
3. I will try not to worry about my future because its in his hands and I can't control everything.
4. I will try not to worry about the paths my children take because I provided them with faith and a sound conscience of reason.
5. I will try not to worry about what other people think of me (see earlier blog) because I am loved and I don't need them haha.
I love shopping! It is an addiction! I believe in retail therapy but it isn't always theraputic when the money is gone and the credit card bill comes in the mail. I think it all started with shoes and purses. I used to work for a shoe company and be the female Al Bundy pretty much. I have bad feet so I can't always wear the Steve Madden's... So I fell in love with awesome boots of all types and tennis shoes. Tennis Shoes to me are like my comfort food. I can always go back to my New Balance Shoes or my worn out (need to be replaced) Margaritaville flip flops. The only two pairs of shoes I wear daily. I also love purses. I don't own too many though (In my opinion). I have my Army Combat Uniform Purse (I actually have two ACU bags lol) which people would be shocked if I left home without, I have my favorite book bag purse, and a bright pink hand bag Skylar bought me for my birthday a few years ago. I love Vera Bradley, Dooney and Burke... and all the expensive bags but I am more personal in my taste. If I am spending that kind of money I usually buy something that is custom or handmade. OOAK...
What I would like to dress like or what I would like to be able to afford are two different things. My body just rapidly changed after my third child. I don't think I can really get anymore "juniors" ... it may be illegal now that I am into my 30's. But some misses styles repulse me and my husband says I look old. I want to be relevant. Most days I am stuck in jeans and t-shirts when I would rather be in a suit, a frilly dress, or at least a nice blouse...
I am proud of my husband's career (and his oldest sons career) in the Army. I have lots of Army related and Patriotic T-shirts but there are days even with my wonderful ACU purse in tow I don't want to look like a walking recruitment billboard. I did get the Thank you for your Service and Sacrafice and Thank your husband blah blah blah or general questions about the Army Life. Which I can't speak much of since I haven't experienced what some have.
I think my children are more stylish than I am neverless because I don't get depressed when trying to buy clothes for them. I don't have to worry about hiding the love handles, making sure the top is long enough (ok I do for my 7 year old who is lanky), and that sort of thing. I just see a store full of cuteness at Gymboree and Childrens Place. At Kohls and such I see a store full of evil clothes that don't look right on me, don't fit into my budget... or I just feel lost and overwhelmed. I usually buy what's on the mannequin so I don't have to worry about does this go with that etc... Why don't I have that problem with my kids! I can make cute outfits for my kids. My 7 year old doesn't like sun dresses or tank tops... mom I can't show my pits she says. She has to wear Leggings under everything and or Bike shorts. Shorts can be too short on her (again she is lanky and modest).
So one summer like this one I would like to be able to go into my closet of Army T-shirts and Jeans and Grab out a nice top that isn't a t-shirt and my capri's put on my sandals and GO! I would feel much more femine. While breastfeeding this year your wardrobe is very limited more so than when your pregnant. It was very rough. Now a couple of pounds heavier with new curves and a new body its going to take some time to be comfortable, knowledgable and know how to bring out my inner fashionista!
As a younger child I wanted to be a psychologist and even asked my youth Minster about going into ministry. With all my medical problems people thought for sure I would be a doctor of medicine. But I really wanted to be a child psychologist or therapist. As an older child I felt God called me toward being a veterinarian. I saw Mighty Joe Young (the newer version) and that's what I wanted to do. Then I lived on my grandfathers farm and he gave me three young calves to take care of. I mean three buckets of formula, three bottles and young black and white cows to tend to. They are AS demanding as a newborn. If one got hungry at Midnight he would moo at my window of my room. The bull named Midnight was the culprit. Then there was Oreo and Seven. I watched them grow to big cows too. Midnight was a sickly fellow as a young calf though. Since he missed the first precious days of having his mothers milk (Formula feeding mothers take note), he ended up getting an infection in his jaw. The vet and my mom had to hold him down while at the age of 18 I had to cut and drain the infection. It didn't scare me. Neither did the horse in the stall nearby who had gotten tangled up in electric fence of barbed wire. Poor guy was in a lot of pain. A mare nearby was also in heat which was driving him crazy. I have been fascinated by big animals and still am. My favorite animal is a dolphin but I couldn't bare for my hands to do a necropsy on one they are just too magical and majestic for human touch. So Marine biology was out. So I wanted to be a veterinarian for a zoo or for large animals, zoologist or a zoo keeper. Jack Hanna and Steve Irwin are my hero's!
Relationships whether it be with a neighbor, lover, husband, friend, family member are always complicated. Either you feel defensive and put down because they use words that hurt. They may not mean it that way but ultimately its how it effects you isn't it? When you say something you have to remember its not always the content or way you say something but how it will effect the other person. It can be life or death too. You can save someone's life with a simple hello or you can send them over the edge of desperation.
I think we have all been in a relationship before where we had our walls up and we were always on the defensive trying to not get hurt and we usually end up hurt anyways. Then there are the polar opposites where we make ourselves vulnerable to a person. Sometimes we regret doing it, sometimes we get angry for being so open. Have you ever done that? Which way do you tend to lean? Is there a healthy and unhealthy way? Is there a happy medium or am I just that warped that I have to do everything extreme.
I pride myself on being bluntly honest. I will tell someone what I think of them but I have such bad insecurities when it comes to my female friendships I often hide my scars and my thoughts. But when it comes to my husband I can be quite brutal. I don't know why. I say I have a pretty tough exterior with a no bullshit tolerance. I am insecure at the same time about my blunt honesty because it does get me in trouble and hurt people. I never set out to hurt people with my thoughts and emotions. I also question the validity of my thoughts and emotions. Thats something I have to come to terms with because there are some parts of me that will never change.
I have ran a support group since my oldest was 6 months old that is almost 10 years in October. I used to tell people to be aware that there are thoughts and emotions on the otherside of their monitors because sometimes its so easy to let everything out at your own computer monitor because its an object not a person with emotion. Eventually someone is always going to read what you type.
Emotions make you very naked. It shows the bruises, scars, and raw core of yourself. Whether your comfortable or not exposing them you have to do it with someone eventually. Well I know myself personally even if I hide my scars I wish someone would touch my heart with a healing touch and take me all of me with the rawness and scars and all....
At least I know my heavenly father accepts 100% of me and my scars. He may not always like the rawness of me but he will accept me and love me for every bit of beauty I have.
I haven't gotten a chance to share with you yet but on the 4th of July Chaplain Struecker spoke at my church. The man's story is amazing! He was in the Battle of Mogadishu. For those who don't know about that watch Black Hawk Down. During that mission he was a 24 year old Sgt who was the squad leader and asked to go out and rescue some of his fallen comrades. He said he had to drive very slow through the city to not further injure the soldier he saved. Along the way it seemed like every window had a machine gun pointed at his convoy. His gunner was shot down and killed he said it seemed like the back of his humvee was painted with this soldiers blood. He got to the safe point and was told that he would have to go out on another mission before he goes in the heat of Africa and no running water he needed to clean the back of the Humvee or his soldiers would be scared. As he cleaned the humvee in the sweltering heat he was paralyzed with fear of going back out there. He told God he was going to die that day and to take care of his wife he left back home. He led the next mission and actually made it back safe and he said he had no fear. Later that day his fellow soldiers were asking so tell me how did you do that? How were you unafraid? Tell me about your God? Pray with me please? Let me tell you. He's so moving if you ever get a chance to hear him speak go... If you read books read his book! Its amazing. You can hear his sermon here http://sermon.net/willowbrook
You think you have a clique but really your just pretentious snobs. If you think your bad ass who are weeding out the "weak" take a look at yourself in the mirror. So you pretend like your better than everyone else thats why people don't fit into your clique, group or otherwise known as snob community. Undeserving of your attention. I know how this works I am well aware. You put on your padded push up bra, your fake bake tan, your CZ diamonds, and your expensive clothes you bought on credit. Pretending to be someone you aren't. Desperate Housewives of New Jersey/Atlanta/Orange County... Um all that is .. is a bunch of drama. Why would I want to be part of your clique? So if I don't fit into your world then I can just take notes from Bravo Channel programming? haha. You don't like me why? Because I keep it real? I don't wear expensive clothing? have a boob job... and I don't feel like putting on my Bare Minerals make up everytime you see me because I don't feel the need to IMPRESS you. Oh excuse me the only impressions I make are on my husband in the privacy of my home and God. Your not my ticket into Heaven. Avoiding you will probably get me there faster actually. In the Army Life some of us know that we have our own bunch of drama. There are some wives that cheat on their husbands. I don't want anyone to think we are all that way however that a good precentage are this way. They aren't. But some are. I also know some Military Wives that create their own sources of drama just to keep their lives interesting. Like the stupid crap I had happen to me on Facebook this week. I have also been ostracized from stupid Military Cliques because my husband wasn't their husbands MOS or I am supposedly a rank whore because I haven't been married to my husband for his length of his career. Oddly enough I wasn't dissed much because of his rank and I know that is a problem for alot of people. Maybe he was in enough middle ground haha. I don't wear his rank, his MOS, his time-in... anything. I wear my Army Wife Patch proudly. I am proud of what **I** have accomplished. I am proud of what HE has accomplished seperately and together. Mommy Groups, Mommy Meetups, Mommy Cliques... You name it they are all nothing but a clique. I pride myself on the group I run myself. I have been running for 10 years because I think we are very varied and I am pretty receptive to all walks of life. Matter of fact I LOVE it except ignorance. Even that can be entertaining. Okay so off track.
You maybe shouldn't leave your group for strangers to join. Perhaps you should recruit from within if your going to be that stuck up. If I don't get dressed up once a week to go to the meat market with you ladies and drink your expensive wine... I am sorry its not the way I roll. If the way I roll makes me ghetto... fine. I laugh though considering the life style I was raised in. Maybe I am anti-snob.
Wait I now interrupt this program for a broadcast emergency system....
Define Snob:
Main Entry: snob
Pronunciation: \ˈsnäb\
Function: noun
Etymology: origin unknown
Date: 1781
1 British : cobbler
2 : one who blatantly imitates, fawningly admires, or vulgarly seeks association with those regarded as social superiors
3 a : one who tends to rebuff, avoid, or ignore those regarded as inferior b : one who has an offensive air of superiority in matters of knowledge or taste
We now return you to your reguarly scheduled programming
So I guess I don't get it. You pretend to be someone your not, You act spoiled so some people can't stand to be around you, You disregard others and disrespect them by being unreliable. You have to tire yourselves out putting on your best, loading up your credit cards, and stealing precious time away from your loved ones (Like Children, Husbands, Military Members, RELIGON)... So because I keep it real and I don't pretend I don't belong in your clique? Oh I keep it real and I don't stab people in the back and lie that makes me not worthy of your friendship? At what point do you have a meeting of the secret society of stuck up bitches to decide that I am not good enough. I mean I don't think I smell bad, I am not gross, I am on my best behavior (sans alcohol), My kids are nice to your kids, My husband is unsociable but polite? So what's your fucking deal?
Do you think for once that you should just be yourself? I am not into your games and drinking. I don't mind having a good time with some nice girl friends. Just ask about the last Moms Night Out I had, and the one before that. HA I even did it with people in your stupid stuck up clique.. I am so freaking tired of Mommy Groups who aren't supportive and Military Wives weeding out the weak... Honey if they military weeded out the weak then your ass would have been long gone for starting drama long ago. Another blog for another time but the Military is about Politics and Politicians are back stabbing enough they don't need your help. When I go to a play date, a moms night out, a military function. I go to meet NICE people who are honest and true. That have things in common with myself, my husband or my children. I don't even have to like them! As long as my child has fun I am happy. Why do women have to act like overgrown children? We have a hard enough time keeping men from regressing back to the age of 5!
Ugh I have terrible writers block tonight but I got really irritated by this weeks Facebook Drama, A stupid Meetup Group and some people in General. Quit acting entitled and spoiled maybe people will be more honest with you!
Bailey and his fabulous neckwear. I think it comes off today. YAY for Bailey.
He'd better not bite his foot anymore!!
Last week most of you know I was watching my neighbors dog. Bailey (the dog who is a Collie Mix) seems to have some confusion. He thinks **I** am his mate. He's a silly thing...
A few months back Brittany (my neighbor) and I were out going for a walk with the babies. Bailey isn't well trained on a lease he actually does better without it. He got his foot tangled with the tire to my stroller. A few seconds before we reached the house he started whining at the pavement. I thought it was just too hot. We reached the door and poor Bailey started bleeding out.
Eventually the bleeding stopped but for months Bailey has chewed at his foot and it got infected. So he was sent to my house with loads of antibiotic and steroids and a cone on his head.
My cats stayed terrified and lived on the second floor which one of them does 99% of the time anyways.
Bailey can't go upstairs because of his cone he's not very graceful with it. He wanted to only eat off the floor, drink water out of the baby pool and only go potty back in his own yard LOL.
(Thank you Bailey for not making my yard dirty)
So I don't know who this is embarrassing for its just a funny story. I was in the living room a few yards but with clear sight of my husband who was in front of my desk in the office/family room/ formerly a dining room. He misjudged my chair and fell down. I laid where I was standing and ROFL (literally). Bailey covered my head with his big ole cone and started sniffing me and licking my face to make sure I was okay.
Now ask me about getting Bailey to take his medicine lol.
This still has the same effect on me as the first time I saw it. I wish President Obama would listen if he hasn't. This poem refueled the fire that I thought had kindled down after 2 deployments and leaving the Army life behind and seemingly to get the cold shoulder from others.
I know my passion to serve never died. I have wanted to join the military since I was 18 and tried to join three branches of service myself. 9/11 was what made me stop actually in all honesty I was going to MEPS the next day.
What is your opinion on the poem?
Lyrics (from BadAssMarine.com):
Free
and She called...
Blacks, Whites...wait
African Americans and Caucasians, Asians, excuse me.
Vietnamese, Philipenes, Koreans and Jamaicans or
Haitans, waitin' Hispanics y'all.
Please be paitent
Mexican, Puerto Ricans, Venezualean, Cuban, v Dominican, Panamanian Democrats
I beg your pardon, you partied with the late, great Reagan?
Republican, Independent, Christian, Catholic,
Methodist, Baptist, 7th Day Adventist, 5 Percenters,
Hindu, Sunii Muslim, Brothers and Sisters who never seen the New York city
skyline when the twin towers still existed.
But still She called.
From the bowels of Ground Zero she sent this 911 distress signal.
Because She was in desperate need of a hero,
and didn't have time to decipher what to call 'em,
so she called 'em all Her children.
The children of the stars and bars who needed to know nothing more than the fact that she called.
The fact that someone attempted to harm us
this daughter who covered us all with her loving arms.
And now these arms are sprawled across New York City streets.
A smoke filled lung, a silt covered faced,
and a solitary tear poured out of her cheek.
Her singed garments carpets Pennsylvania Avenue and the Pentagon was under her feet.
As she began to talk, she began to cough up small particles of debris
and said, "I am America, and I'm calling on the land of the free."
So they answered.
All personal differences set to the side
because right now there was no time to decide which state building the Confederate flag should fly over,
and which trimester the embryo is considered alive,
or on our monetary units, and which God we should confide.
You see, someone attempted to choke the voice
of the one who gave us the right for choice,
and now she was callin.
And somebody had to answer.
Who was going to answer?
So they did.
Stern faces and chisled chins.
Devoted women and disciplined men,
who rose from the ashes like a pheonix
and said "don't worry, we'll stand in your defense."
They tightened up their bootlaces
and said goodbye to loved ones, family and friends.
They tried to bombard them with the "hold on", "wait-a-minute's", and "what-if's".
And "Daddy, where you goin?".
And, "Mommy, why you leavin?".
And they merely kissed them on their foreheads and said "Don't worry, I have my reasons.
You see, to this country I pledged my allegience
to defend it against all enemies foreign and domestic.
So as long as I'm breathin, I'll run though hell-fire,
meet the enemy on the front lines,
look him directly in his face,
stare directly in his eyes and scream,
"I AM AMERICA! WE WILL NOT BE TERRORIZED!
WE WILL NOT BE TERRORIZED!
I REFUSE TO BE AFRAID!
I'LL FIGHT YOU ANY COUNTRY, ANY CONTINENT, ANY TERRAIN.
I'LL FIGHT TO MY LAST BREATH!"
And if by chance death is my fate,
pin my medals upon my chest,
and throw Old Glory on my grave.
But, don't y'all cry for me.
You see, my Father's prepared a place.
I'll be a part of his Holy army standing a watch at the Pearly Gates.
Because freedom was never free.
POW's, and fallen soldiers
all paid the ultimate sacrafice
along side veterans who put themselves in harms way.
Risking their lives and limbs just to hold up democracy's weight,
but still standing on them broken appendages anytime the National Anthem was played.
You see, these were the brave warriors that gave me the right
to say that I'm Black. Or white.
Or
African American or Caucasian,
I'm Asian, excuse me.
I'm Vietnamese, Philipene, Korean, or Jamaican.
I'm Haitan, Hispanic
Y'all, Please be paitent.
I'm Mexican, Puerto Rican, Venezualean, Cuban,
Dominican, Panamanian, Democrat
I beg your pardon, you see I partied with the late, great Reagan.
I'm Republican, Independent, Christian, Catholic,
Methodist, Baptist, 7th Day Adventist, 5 Percenters,
Hindu, Sunii Muslim,
Brothers and Sisters We're just Americans.
So with that I say
"Thank You" to the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines,
for preserving my rights
to live and die for this life
and paying the ultimate price for me to be...FREE!
Marriage (please take a few minutes to read)Share. Yesterday at 9:41am
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.
She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully..
My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Dew to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....
The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
You can share this cos you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
My friend Betty, Her husband Mike, and their 1 month old Mike Jr... came down for the Fourth. They brought Jacob and Noah too. Jacob and Noah are kids of a friend of theirs. Friday when they came down Betty and I went to the Commissary and then to see Eclipse. Saturday we went off shopping, went to the Space and Rocket Center and we hung out. Sunday we went to church. She said she loved it and it meaned alot! I love my church and I am super proud of it. Then we went shopping again haha. That evening we BBQ'd with my neighbors who are close to me and set off fire works.
