My SONG

I was enlightened in therapy recently when my therapist thought it was perplexing that I am motherly to everyone. Alot of my family (extended as well) lean on me for information, support, and anything really. My friends will ask me for advice or help. Its just is and always has been the nature that is me. She really is sure that I need to stop being everyone's go to person and take care of just ME, and the two youngest children. If I can do that then my anxiousness can calm down. I am more anxious than I need to be even when dealing with family and friends. I worry about things that are happening to them even though they don't care about it themselves.

Like when James cut his arm this month and I wanted him to get a tetanus shot and he just blew me off. I made a big deal of it but perhaps James just didn't want to have to get one. Men are stubborn creatures so why would I let that set me off? But I did!

I think of myself as a pretty good friend. I am honest with everyone, trustworthy and I try to be reliable. I am always there for a hand, ear or shoulder. Again its who I am and whom I have always been. I will continue to be that way but I gotta take a step back and let me be myself for awhile. I have to grow within myself in order to have a growing friendship and marriage with those around me.

I have to be healthy or I am just going to make you miserable.

I guess I just got lost
being someone else.
I tried to kill the pain,
but nothing ever helped.
I left myself behind,
somewhere along the way
hoping to come back around
to find myself someday

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
to say that it's okay.
Tell me please
Would you one time let me be myself
so I can shine
with my own light.
Let me be myself.

Would you let me be myself?

'Cause I'll never find my heart
behind someone else.
I'll never see the light of day
living in this cell.
It's time to make my way
into the world I knew.
And then take back all of these times
that I gave in to you

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
to say that it's okay.
Tell me please...
Would you one time let me be myself
so I can shine
with my own light.
Let me be myself.

For a while,
if you don't mind,
let me be myself
so I can shine
with my own light.
Let me be myself.

That's all I ever wanted from this world,
is to let me be me.

Please, would you one time
let me be myself
so I can shine
with my own light.
Let me be myself.

Please, would you one time
let me be myself
so I can shine
with my own light.
Let me be myself.

For a while, if you don't mind
let me be myself
so I can shine,
with my own light.
Let me be myself.

Would you one time
let me be myself
and let me be me.