TBR

Regretting You

Fourth Wing--So we are in Zoom talking about the Fourth Wing.. Now I am not a GOT fan so am I going to like Fourth Wing if I am not big into GOT? (different authors i Know but similar content maybe?)

Court of Rose and Thorns.

The Unfairness Between Two Lives

I am angry.
Angry at how the world seems to hand out chances unevenly. My father lived most of a full life, deep in his addiction, hurting everyone in his path. He abandoned his children, broke hearts, destroyed trust — and yet, somehow, he kept living. He got to grow old. He got five marriages. Five children he walked away from. And still, the world kept giving him more time.

But Brandon didn’t get that time. He barely reached forty. He didn’t overcome his addiction either, but his addiction wasn’t born out of cruelty — it was born out of pain. It was inherited, in part, from people like my father. It came from wounds that weren’t entirely his fault. And still, life took him.

I can’t stop thinking about the contrast: the man who wasted every chance lived, while the one who still had something good left to give — to his kids, to me — was taken. My future with him was stolen. His children lost their father. And I’m left trying to make sense of how the universe could allow that imbalance.

I’m angry at my father’s survival. Angry at genetics. Angry at addiction. Angry at how unfair it is that Brandon carried pain that wasn’t his to carry. I hate that he had to fight a battle that ran through generations — and still lost it.

I don’t want to understand it yet. I just want to scream at the unfairness of it all. Because it isn’t fair.
Because I loved him.
Because he deserved more than what he got.