Friday, June 6, 2008

Ban on Sex for Soldiers in Afghanistan Lifted ... Sort Of

Ban on Sex for Soldiers in Afghanistan Lifted ... Sort Of


JALALABAD, Afghanistan -- Single soldiers and civilians working for the U.S. military in Afghanistan can now have sex legally. Sort of.


A new order signed by Maj. Gen. Jeffrey Schloesser, commander of Combined Joint Task Force-101, has lifted a ban on sexual relations between unmarried men and women in the combat zone.


Poll: Sex in a War Zone Okay?


General Order No. 1 outlines a number of prohibited activities and standards of conduct for U.S. troops and civilians working for the military in Afghanistan. Previously, under the regulation, sexual relations and "intimate behavior" between men and women not married to each other were a strict no-no. The regulation also barred members of the opposite sex from going into each other's living quarters unless they were married to each other.


To find more deployment news and resources, visit The Deployment Center.


But the latest version of General Order No. 1 for Afghanistan, which Schloesser signed April 19, eases those restrictions.


The new regulation warns that sex in a combat zone "can have an adverse impact on unit cohesion, morale, good order and discipline."


But sexual relations and physical intimacy between men and women not married to each other are no longer banned outright. They're only "highly discouraged," and that's as long as they're "not otherwise prohibited" by the Uniform Code of Military Justice, according to the new order.


Single men and women can now also visit each other's living quarters, as long as everyone else who lives there agrees, and as long as visitors of the opposite sex remain in the open "and not behind closed doors, partitions or other isolated or segregated areas," according to the new regulation.


Unmarried men and women who are alone together in living quarters must leave the door open, according to the new policy.


Men and women "will not cohabit with, reside or sleep with members of the opposite gender in living spaces of any kind," unless they are married or if it's necessary for military reasons, the new policy states.


A cursory reading of the order would seem to suggest that unmarried men and women could have sex in their living quarters, as long as all other persons who live there agree, or if they left the door open, if they were otherwise alone. But that's not the case, said Lt. Col. Rumi Nielson-Green, a spokeswoman for Regional Command East and Combined Joint Task Force-101.


"Sex in both scenarios … would be a chargeable offense under the UCMJ," Nielson-Green said, referring to the Uniform Code of Military Justice, in an e-mail to Stars and Stripes.


Nielson-Green said the policy change was "not significant on a practical level" since it simply aligns General Order No. 1 in Afghanistan with similar policies in the region. Neither U.S. Central Command, which oversees U.S. forces in Afghanistan and Iraq, nor Multi-National Forces-Iraq bar sexual relations between unmarried men and women in their version of the order, she said.


"The expectation is that troops should behave professionally and responsibly at all times," Nielson-Green said, adding that while the new regulation does not condone sex, it "does recognize that such behaviors happen, and if they result in any chargeable offenses, then appropriate actions will be pursued."


"The bottom line is that the troops are responsible for their own behavior," Nielson-Green said. She declined to "speculate" on the conditions under which soldiers could engage in legal sexual behavior.


The UCMJ contains several provisions under which sexual relations are prohibited between men and women. For instance, married persons cannot engage legally in sex with anyone other than their spouse, or they can be prosecuted for adultery. Sexual relations between subordinates and higher-ranking personnel are prohibited within the same chain of command. Sexual relations between officers and enlisted personnel are generally prohibited as well. Homosexual relations are completely prohibited under the code.


Nielson-Green said the new policy does allow commanders to make the provision on sex more restrictive, as long as they have approval from the CJTF-101 commander.


In eastern Afghanistan, the 173rd Airborne Brigade, which is nearing the end of its 15-month deployment, won approval to stick with the old policy that bans sexual relations between unmarried soldiers.


Maj. Will Helixon, the brigade judge advocate, said the issue was basically one of fairness.


"After we've treated the soldiers this way for a year, it's not really right to change," said Helixon said. "That's the bottom line."


According to Helixon's staff, 28 soldiers from the 173rd Airborne Brigade have been punished for having sex in Afghanistan or for violating the no-entry rule in the past year. Those punishments ranged from letters of reprimand to field-grade Article 15s.


At Forward Operating Base Fenty, near Jalalabad, the reaction of soldiers to the lifting of the sex ban was mixed. Some soldiers declined to comment. Others said they were married, so the change would not affect them. Some thought it simply create more problems. "I think it's a bad idea," said Pfc. Shane Inman, 30, of Fort Dodge, Iowa. "I think there's going to be a lot more pregnancies going around. Not that there already isn't. But at least they won't get in trouble for it."



Sound Off...What do you think? Join the discussion.

New SIDS Link


LONDON (Reuters) - Researchers have pinpointed two common bacteria that may contribute to crib deaths, even when infants show no sign of tissue damage.


Post-mortem tests on more than 500 babies found high levels of Staphylococcus aureus and Escherichia coli in babies who died for unexplained reasons, a team from Great Ormond Street Hospital for Children in London said on Friday.


One explanation could be that the bacteria release deadly toxins, which damage the young heart, lungs or nervous system.


But bacterial growth may also be a secondary effect of other known risk factors like over-heating, parental smoking and lying a child on its stomach.


Sudden unexpected death in infancy (SUDI) is a leading cause of death in babies under a year old, yet its root cause remains a mystery. Healthy looking infants can often die in less than an hour.


The latest findings in the Lancet medical journal suggest underlying infection could be an important component.


"You've got to be very careful how you interpret this data," Nigel Klein, one of the researchers, said in an interview.


"But we did find an increased number of bacteria grown from particularly the lungs and spleen in infants who died unexpectedly without a known cause."


Cases of S. aureus and E. coli were significantly more frequent in the group of babies whose death could not be explained than in those who died of non-infective explained causes, such as congenital abnormalities.


Both S. aureus and E. coli are classed as "group 2 pathogens," which are known to cause septicaemia without obvious damage to tissues in the body.


Alan Craft, professor of child health at the University of Newcastle, said the findings were important but there might not be a simple answer.


"The bacteria found are ones which are in all of our bodies most of the time and there is nothing that can be done to avoid them," Craft said.


(Editing by Charles Dick)


So whould it help if we gave babies prone to SIDS a low dose of Antibiotic? I mean like those in families where it happens more than once or those who have aptnea or something? I am not an advocate for giving children antibiotics or over medicating for reasons they don't need to be medicated but its better to have a sickly child than a dead child. Also did you know that pacifers prevent SIDS as well?

Dell customer service

This is the complaint that Rick and I made with the BBB against Dell.  I recently purchased an extended warranty on my year old Dell Computer. My Wife called while I am deployed to the middle east after experiencing a technical problem today. She called Dell Tech Support. She was already warning them to not leave her without a computer since this is a source of income for her and also the main way of communication between her and I while I am deployed. She started the call around 11 o'clock. She went through 5 tech's one of which made the computer unresponsive and it still didn't work correctly after several system restores and a direct connect. She insisted in being connected with a supervisor. Her requests went denied until she gave them one last chance. She was then connected with a customer care rep. My wife told the Customer Care Rep My wife spent more than 3 hours on the phone with Tech Support and they made the issue worse and made my computer unresponsive. My wife had spent enough of my day on the computer and My wife needed to go do other things. She begged My wife to give tech another chance. My wife told her My wife needed her computer so she could send me a replacement and My wife would send mine back and My wife would be happy to send mine back to get fixed. She wanted to transfer me to tech support and she would explain they would only have a couple of minutes. My wife gave the phone to my son while she stepped away. They got disconnected. My wife called back the number she was given and went through the last two tech supports and finally gave up after starting back at square one. What good does a warranty do if they just make the problem worsen and spend hours of our day fixing it through a telephone and a direct connction to the dell system?


So this was weeks ago at the end of April. I was contacted by Dell and they tried to do it there way and continue to do it there way and I wasn't having it. They continued to blow me off and yell at me. They have continued to call me and harass me finally someone who seemed to understand what I am going through has done some tests and still no answers. My next option will be to get my hard drive backed up on my own dime and reinstall Vista. The fact this guy took time out and sent me the disks that I was supposed to have been sent when I ordered my dell tells me something.


Rick and Suzy both sent me this link


Dell deceived customers, judge says

Freebie

Free Johnson's Baby Relief Kit

http://www.johnsons.samplesclub.net/

Homeschool Families Call for Boycott of Subway Restaurants

Homeschooling parents across the United States are now crying "Boycott" when it comes to Subway after the popular restaurant chain chose to exclude homeschooled students from entering their Subway Fresh Fit for Kids writing contest.

The contest, which you can view the details of here, invites students to write a story based upon one of four story starters, and encourages kids to be creative, while even encouraging parents to help their children write the story. Prizes for the contest included one Grand Prize winner who will receive $5,000 worth of athletic equipment for their school, a Scholastic Gift Basket for their home, a $100 Subway gift card, and the chance to have their story published on Subway's website as well as in Scholastic's Parent & Child Magazine. Six additional runners up will also receive a Scholastic Gift Basket and a $50 Subway gift card. In addition to the seven top prizes each entry that includes a Subway receipt store number will receive a free Scholastic book.

The homeschool community is a tight knit arena in which news travels fast. Forums, blogs, and email lists of homeschool parents have been a buzz all weekend over the exclusion with many heated discussions taking place. The number of parents choosing to homeschool their children is growing each year, and homeschooled students compete with public schooled children in many contests through out the school year. In 2007 the winner of the Scripps National Spelling Bee was Evan O'Dorney a homeschool student who resides in Danville, California.

Many homeschooling parents understand that the reason for the snub may be the fact that the grand prize includes $5,000 worth of athletic equipment but they believe that this could have been gotten around by requiring homeschool families to donate the equipment to a park or charity of their choice, their homeschool association or co-op, or to a church.
Not only are parents who homeschool their children upset that they are not allowed to participate in the contest but they have pointed out the appalling typos that can be found in the writing contest rules. The writer of the copy misspelled United States by spelling it the "Untied States" and gift basket was misspelled "gift bakset".

While homeschooled parents across the web cry for a boycott and a public apology from Subway we can only wait to see if the proposed boycott will make a difference, and whether or not Subway can recover from this disastrous PR debacle.


Reference Link http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/787653/homeschool_families_call_for_boycott.html?page=2&cat=3

OrganizedHome.com

Feed The Freezer: Freezer Cooking Guide


Once-a-month cooking. Frozen assets. OAMC. Meal assembly. Whatever you call it, cooking many meals in a single session banks home-cooked meals--and precious family time--for busy home managers.


What's not to like about freezer cooking? Economies of scale speed cooking chores. Buying in bulk saves money. Home preparation fosters good nutrition. New options like "meal assembly franchises" help home cooks build frozen assets quickly.


Whether you cook once and eat for a month, sneak up on freezer cooking, or fill the freezer fast from the meal preparation storefront, get ready to feed the family--fast!

Isaiah 40:31

Isaiah 40:31


"But they that wait upon the LORD
shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as EAGLES
they shall run, and not be weary;
and they shall walk, and not faint"


My friend Dayna IMed me the other day with this bible verse. If you know me you know that I am always looking for Bible Verses, Quotes, and lyrics that help define who I am or what I am going through.


In my beliefs, I think that my relationship with God is personal and not to be judged or defined however. I do believe that there are people out there that interpert the bible however they see fit.


To me this verse says I shall wait and trust in my faith and I will be filled with renewed strength. That I will soar with eagles. I will run and not be tired and I can walk with paitence and not be weak.


What does this bible verse say to you?


Going through this deployment there are days where I have to FIGHT to get through the day. To wake up in the mornings not seeing my husband on the pillow next to me as the sun touches the clouds in the sky. I have to remember as I wake that I have something more precious and thats the beauty and grace of my little girl. She is a gift (as is my husband). Just a reminder why I am here and what I am doing. Thats when she doesn't wake me up with her plea's for attention lol.

Military Wives ~ How to Nurture your Marriage

I can tell you I've been married to a civilian. We had a horrible marriage and it ended up falling apart and he passed away in 2003. Now I am married to a Soldier that has made the military a carrer for over half of his life. I can sit here and tell you that being a military wife its harder to keep a marriage together. That very well may be because your husband is gone and they are gone alot. I bet the divorce rates amongst soldiers is high if not then I know the lack of monogmous  for the unmarried soldiers relationships are.


I can also tell you I am a lucky one because my husband is not the average man. Which is probably the reason I don't hate him with a passion. I will reveal some of our secrets. Here they are. He's open to discussing topics and sometimes he even starts the discussion. I found a neat little website that sends us a daily email of Generous Wife/Or Husband Tips. I also get some from another site. At first I did worry that he wouldnt' read the emails but nearly every day he forward them to me and tells me his thought on that days Generous Husband Tip. We don't just discuss these topics we put them into action. Right now since he is deployed we can't do a whole lot but we find ways to have our date nights and just enjoy conversation together. We play games together online (I usually kick his butt). We discuss movies and books. Sometimes we will even have the same movie and watch it together just oceans apart.


People can sit there and glare at me for sacraficing so much of my normal daily time to spend with Rick. Normal families may get to crash on the couch in the evening with their family and bond. Rick and I have to do it over the internet. Almost like a long distance relationship but more complicated. People compare us to single mothers but we aren't its again more complicated than that. I have to manage pretty much three households. The one I live in, Plus make sure my soldiers that are over seas have everything to keep them happy. Thats my job. Off point anyways. I don't mind the glares from people because I realize they don't have my marriage and my understanding.


If you were to ask me how to achieve this? All I can tell you is you and your mate have to have an open mind. You know Rick and I have discussed going into family counseling and he won't do it but we do some things on our own that we don't need a therapist. I think that Rick and I are great as a couple but both of us are still and continuing to adjust to the blended family. Rick and I haven't gone to church together. No we aren't ashamed we can worship on our own and on our own time. With that being said we have thought about looking for a church once we know if we are going to settle here or not. I know I know give me 16 months and I am going to sit here and tell you my marriage is strong and seemingly near perfect. But we both are going into this and continue to believe that a marriage is an investment if we devote ourselves, time and love to our investiment its surely not to die and fade away. Its just going to grow and continue to do so. We have our books about marriage and work books we do go through. I have my chicken soup books I love, We have our marriage tips. We even have come up with some ways on our own as a family to stay close. I continue to strive to work toward a happy home and stability. Thats all I have ever wanted at all.


http://www.milspouse.com/how-to-nurture-your-marriage.aspx

Patriot Family Salutes the “Military Spouse” Calendar 2009

Mark your calendars if you have the knack for writing as I do. Enter the contest I know I will. I know the topic i will write about

http://www.aafes.com/Patriot_Family/essay.asp

Love Is

20080530cplis-a-p 20080531cplis-a-p


I love these little comic strips. I found one when I first married Rick and I made him a little scrapbook thing to hang on his mirror and its still there. It says... Love is... realizing mornings never will be the same without you.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

What Hurts the Most by Rascall Flatts


 


I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry
Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me
There are days
Every now and again i pretend i'm okay but that's not what gets me



Its been a rainy tough day today. I can take the rain and storms any day. The rain is not what bothers me. I can take a few tears now and then. Songs like this certianly have triggered my blogging bug and my emo bug. I can take the tears and let them out. They don't burn my cheeks but going on everyday without you still stings. Your not here to hold. Your not here to share my fears with. I open up to you still but its just not the same.



What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do


The scars from this deployment will run deep maybe forever maybe they will heal. Memories like when the last time I took you to the airport have left scars that I didn't know existed until I heard this song. I hold a certain amount of regret from Midtour. I just try to think about the Memories we have made since our first days together in 2007. The wonderful places we have been. The things we have experienced together that I wouldn't want to experience with no one else. The thoughts that still linger are the words that are left unsaid, the memories that are left undone, The to-do list that just seems to be longer, our wishes and goals ungranted. The fact that with strength I didn't know I had I let you walk on that airplane the last time I took you to the airport. The devistation, the panic, the broken heart after you got on the plane. I couldn't find you. With Skylar and James sitting there wondering where you had gone to. The fact that I had to leave the airport with words unsaid and without one last kiss. Has left so much on my soul.



It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere i go
But i'm doin it
It's hard to force that smile when i see our old friends and i'm alone
Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret
But i know if i could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that i saved in my heart that i left unspoken


I still can't say that us Silent Ranks have the hardest job in the army. Having put my life on hold. Watching soldiers everywhere I turn is a painful reminder of you being gone. I am proud to stand beside a Marine, An Airman, or a Soldier (Not to many Navy in these parts.) There are days when I act like I am ok and I just want to scream I am Fine!!! But there is so much hidden pain. Its hard to deal with the pain. Its hard to force a smile for the kids on some occasions. Its hard to smile when people smile at me. When people thank me for what you do. When they have no real clue the sacrafice. You know that Bulletin/email that goes around that talks about why soldiers go days without showers? A girl online asked me why don't you have water. They really have no clue that you do without the most basic needs. That you would take a kiss and a hug over a shower anyday. Everyday I have to get up and get dressed and live my life and everyday its another challenge to face "alone". The day you walked away I would go back and do so much differently. Midtour would be different. I would be different. Perhaps I wouldn't have so much pain. The tears in my eyes don't sting so much but the burden on my heart and soul never fades. The sting of watching you disappear in the airport that day has left some deep scars. The fact that I neglected you so much on Midtour, How can I forgive myself?


Tomorrow I have to wake up and relive all this over again. I have to walk beside these wives that aren't so proud as I am. These people that just don't get it sadly. We have been overseas for so long and people just don't want to understand what you are put through. People don't understand us left waiting feel everyday that you are gone.


Damn straight I know I am strong. I know that I have come along way in a year. I know that this is over soon. I finally realized what I have accomplished and I know what I do that makes you hold on. I know that my strength has finally appeared in my eyes. I will forever be strong for you. My tears I shed aren't a sign of weakness and my fears don't make me weak either because I am willing to face them with you beside me if not in body in spirit. If you didn't love me as much as you do I don't know how this would be. I love you. I will be here waiting.



What hurts the most, is being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
Never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do

What hurts the most, was being so close
And having so much to say
And watchin you walk away
And never knowing, what could have been
And not seein that lovin you
Is what i was tryin to do

not seein that lovin you
that’s what I was tryin to do

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Army Wives

I was sitting here doing my usual thing and talking to Rick online. His connection wasn't stable so we got interupted a few times. I stumbled across video blogs from Military Wives. Particularly this one She some how got on my Myspace profile when I added Roxie Dean's A Soldier's wife song...

On the side where it lets you choose similar video's to watch they had an Army Wives Music Video from the TV Show set to Far Away by Nickelback.


Then of course since I relate mostly to Roxy from the show I clicked on all the Roxy/Trevor Clips. I don't know if its just me but I kept thinking wow she plays the part real well  or is it just me because I see my thoughts in her head. All those troubles, concerns, and such as Trevor deployed. I started to tear up a bit. Shew I don't know if I am going to be able to handle the second season next month of Army Wives. God forbid something happens to Trevor on the show I would be royally pissed! LOL Lifetime would never hear the end of me lmao.


Then I found an Army Wives Music video of A Soldiers Wife and it got to me thinking some more... but of course. Between Rachel's Vlog's and my own experiences. I think that the TV does portray some of what we go through to the people who would otherwise have no clue. Believe me there are some out there. There are some Military Wives who still haven't gotten their first clue. Like I have mentioned in previous blogs there are people who tell me man I would love it if my s/o was out of my hair. Yeah sometimes I wish for Rick to get out of my hair but never that far for that long LOL. A deployment is normally NOT a blessing and its not a comforting thing to hear. Maybe its just because Rick and I do enjoy spending ALOT of time together that we don't feel that way. We still haven't gotten past the honeymoon stage and I kinda of hope I never do. But believe me for myself deployment isn't a day that goes by that I say man I am glad hes' not here. I used to be miserable when he was on duty or when he had Casulity Assistance Officer duty. But now I've learned. He can go out for a week or two with training (Pray not as soon as he gets home however lol) He can go out in the field. There won't be a bitch or a gripe from my lips. Anywhere stateside for up to a month is better than this. *sigh* I am just rambling some thoughts. So I will go for now and do some housework. Pray for my husband and Alex's safety. Thankfully they are alive and they will come home.

Monday, May 5, 2008

Social Networks

Almost all of us have tried Myspace, Yahoo 360, or Facebook admist the bad publicity. So how many do you have a profile on? How many do you actually keep up with? I admit I don't keep up with all mine or even know how to log into all mine anymore. But I decided to sign up for one more. Its called 3gb.
So click the link and take a look
join 3gb community www.3gb.biz
https://payperpost.com

In Support of Our Troops

Rick and I were talking online the other day. He shared and article about the bombing of the USS Cole. That happened before 9/11 months before 9/11. Al-Qaida is responsible for that as well. Yemen where the bombing took place free's our prisoners and the FBI and CIA aren't having an easy time cooperating with the Yemen's government.

I have heard people say we were roped into this war in Iraq because the President fed on our Patriotism after 9/11. My opinion is its untrue. I see the kind in people till they show me the ugly. After reading this article I think its late coming on our attack on al-Qaida.

You can not like who's running for office or who is currently in office. Since our President has the lowest approval in history. But there is no excuse for not having patriotism. Sometimes we support family members we don't approve of. Sometimes we support each other not in the best situations. Sometimes we find things we like in an un likeable situation. You can find ways to Support the person(s) in office even though we don't approve. You can ALWAYS support the troops. There is no reason not to. That's not coming from an Army Wife, Mom and an Air Force Brat that's coming from a logical thinker.

Promised me the Moon

He promised me the moon even if he couldn't deliver. Thats ok I don't need the moon I just need him.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

I signed up for PPP!

So My Buddy Crystal and I are always looking for opportunities out there in he world to make a little extra cash. Plus this is a good way to give me subject matter to post about. So you can find Crystal's blog here .....http://favorite-hello.blogspot.com/ and while your looking around check out her Ebay store Mix of Everything (Scrapbooking, Electronics, Clothes, etc). So enough with the shameless promotion of my friend LOL. This is my first PPP post. What's PPP you ask? Well since I am new to the company I don't have alot of answers for you LOL. But feel free to sign up on the website here https://payperpost.com. From what I understand they give you topics to blog about under there terms and you get paid to post on your blog. So I make a little extra money and entertain my blog friends. So if you happen to see a random post that isn't about deployment or life then feel free to comment and just go on about your way. I rarely get comments anyways. I do so enjoy them though!

So once again I think this Payperpost thing is a good idea and you should check it out if you are an avid blogger. Or just would like to make extra money. Details listed on the site. Crystal and I are going to give it a try and see what we can do with this idea. I hope you keep reading my blog and enjoying my posts. Comments and Suggestions are loved!

If you sign up for PPP or would like your blog added to my blog roll then be sure to notify me. I would love to read all about your world. Especially if your a military wife as well or just a parent experiencing the JOYS of parenting. My interesting include Scrapbooking, Working with Paint Shop Pro, Animals, The military of course I have pride in my husband and step son's jobs. Yes I am a Military "Alpha" Mom as my friend calls me.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Expectations

 Rick and I were talking before he went to bed and he said I was better than expected but he wasn't sure of what he expected so then he avoided my conversation by turning the tables so I wrote him this email.

Rick says:


 What Did you expect from me


What did I expect from you? From the moment 'go' I was on cloud 9 begging to be pulled down back into reality. I didn't want to walk blinded. I didn't want to jump head first into something. Coming out of something so quickly. I didn't want to be hurt. Unfortunately I was down on guys and I had my opportunities with many guys other than you. I didn't want those opportunities though. I wanted my love story as I said in my blog the other day. I wouldn't settle for anything less. I don't deserve less and my kids don't deserve less. I took a chance with him and he blew that shit straight out of the water. So if it wasn't apparently from the beginning then I wasn't going to jump in the water if it didn't appear hot as hell. I know when it comes to being on Cloud 9 the water can be a little foggy and hard to judge hence why I was asking to be pulled down to view the outlook a little more clearer. So sitting in my townhouse. Giddy and Giggling to my "best friends" about this guy like I was a girl with a teenage crush. I found myself a girl with a teenage crush with the appetite and a big heart enough to fall in love.  However Bella having the experience that I have. As Chris used to describe me as being male trapped into a female's body.. Hehe. I am cynical. I have my doubts which turn into fear which turns into ugly. I pretty much know what a typical man wants, a man expects. Low and behold your not that typical guy. You know I knew Doug and Chris for a long time and yet they still gave me that weary vibe that I needed to not fall for them or even come close. If you could only understand what I mean. As for you Soldiers do have a reputation at least from what I know. I did have an online boyfriend that was a Marine. Then there was that first phone call between us. Yes that more than average phone call. I wouldn't brag about to my friends lmao. Typical male. Kristin kept me grounded in a way while still telling me there was no rescue boat leaving cloud 9. She felt kismet. She knew it was right. But she reminded me of the big PLAN. THe BIG MISSION! So as long as I kept reminding myself of our meeting in Adairsville. Then there wouldn't be a disappointment. Devoted to the mission. Plus there was the whole I won't marry a soldier and live the Army Life. I won't live in Alabama thing that I had tied to my head since a young child. You have no idea. Haha. Stick to the mission Bella. Just stick to your mission


What did I expect out of our first "date". I was falling in love with you already Rick. I was head over heels before we met. There was just the chemistry in person thing missing. There was the missing pieces of our kids. Everything else was in place. However there wasn't much of an expectation because we had talked about what was going to happen. Just seeing how we would connect. Seeing how your such a big fat liar that you didn't look anything like your picture and you were a Serial Killer instead of a Soldier. What's a couple of letters difference? LOL.


What did I expect from you as a person? I expected you to be yourself whether we would have chemistry or not. I expected you to come as you are. I am lucky how you were gift wrapped. I wanted you to come as you are. I wanted you to be honest with me. I wanted you to be open to me. Open minded and as well as not have too many walls up. Less drama than me would have been nice and to top it off with cherries and sprinkles you could like me for who I am and neither of us could want each other to change.


What did I expect from you as a husband? Walking down the aisle. I wanted you to be sure as rain and as predictable too! Haha. I wanted you to be as sure as I was. No doubts. No doubts at all. I promised myself that after the last one was such a mistake even in the beginning something told me and I knew that getting married to Adam was wrong. The only way it was right was teaching me how to be married to the one who was right.


What do I expect from you now as my husband? To work real hard together. The work isn't near as hard as when we work together. We need to compromise. We need to listen, be understanding, communication. Being a good husband means being a good friend and a good father. A Good husband is a good provider. A Good husband not only provides when and if he can but he provides just as much emotionally and physically.


Sometime ago I made this blog http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-yvgtPckodLO69P8vvbcPvxmxj3xu_XUTk6Su?p=303 I thought I would republish once I read my comments. Now hmm :) I don't think you need an instruction manual yet.

Army Get a Clue

What part of Army Life doesn't the Army understand? First of all they should recognize and deal with the fact that 99% of us are away from Family and Close trusted friends. We got through friends that live near us like underwear. Ok bad example. So when our husband's are working either on the home front or deployed we don't have "Automatic" babysitters lined up.

I was interested in this Parenting Class on How to help your child succeed in school. It came quite a convient time because of Skylar starting Kindergarten. So I emailed the ACS lady and asked her if there would be childcare provided. She said she didn't know she would pass on my message but she pointed out my daughter was well behaved enough to sit in or sit in the lobby and watch cartoons. Well first of all I beamed with pride. The second I started to calculate timing. Ballet ends as the class begins and I have to drive to another location. I am supposed to bring my own lunch. So even if I could drop Skylar off at the CDC (she hates it) How am I supposed to accomplish this? Its a PARENTING class and there wasn't onsite childcare provided. HMM.

Secondly is it just me or some older generation people just short with kids? They have a low tolerance? Because Skylar was really good and the ACS lady was just getting an attitude in my opinion. She told me she would pay for Skylar to go to the CDC tomorrow if I wanted to take the next class. As I was leaving she approached me and I said you know what no thanks my husband is deployed and I have respite hours I don't use because Skylar hates the CDC. What do you want from a five year old. She colored, drank water, and ate cookies for an hour. Didn't speak unless it was a whisper only got up to go pee and we sat in the back. I doubt anyone was distracted by my little girl.

No Air








As you can see this is one of my most recent favorite songs. I have found my layout and page by one of my favorite Layout Artists :) This song fit perfectly for how I have been feeling dealing with this deployment.


The quote for us Army Wife's is the toughest job in the Army. I don't think its the toughest. I know what the soldiers go through when they were deployed. A lot of times they go through deployment without any kind of support. Even in our situation here I am and I have my kids to kiss and hug when I need it. Granted I don't hug or kiss James but he gives his emotional support in his own ways. Skylar keeps me plenty busy as well. So if you listen to the lyrics of the song the female artist is Jordin Sparks and the male artist is Chris Brown and I can imagine Rick feels a lot of the same emotions but in a different way.

On opposite sides of the world we are feeling the same emotions and just wanting to be with each other.


On the home front I am feeling like I am living each day with no air. I struggle to go to sleep and I struggle to begin my new day. Each day I begin I miss his presence. I miss waking up next to him there is something special about waking up to the person you long for, you love, your devoted to each day. That should never be taken for granted. How many of you can honestly say you know what it feels like to crave the touch of your soul mate. Some of you are single and I know you would love to be touched and loved. But when my husband shows me affection simply by placing his hand on the small of my back as I work or wipes away my tears. While he is deployed it leaves such a deep emptiness. Lets not forget we have to stay strong for our men over seas. I take this to a different level than I have noticed from others. I have to be strong for my kids. If Skylar see's me cry she gets very upset. Even James, James who is sensitive doesn't like "reality" He doesn't' like being faced with it and I shouldn't burden him with my reality. Everyday I have my burdens, my stress, my realities, my fears and I live with them alone. At least I can talk to my friends understanding or not they come out. What do the soldiers get? I know my husband is very unsocialable and doesn't have a good support system with him. How does he feel? Does he feel like there is a piece of him missing? Does he feel like most days its just hard to breathe?


While Rick is deployed James will start college, Alex has left for his own adventure into life joining the Army and going to Korea. Skylar has lost teeth and will beginning Kindergarten. All of these milestones are important in a child's life. I have missed some milestones in Mackenzie's life I will never get back and that has left me with a memory I will never forget. To not take life for granted and cherish each little second of it. That second may change your life. I get to play the role of both parents in a way. I had to stand by Alex as he waited for his cab to take him to the airport. I have to help James with all his paperwork for college. I have been there for everyone of Skylar's scrapes and cuts. I will be there on her first day of school. Her Ballet recital is coming up and I will be there alone. I will be working hard to make it her day but wished that Rick could be there to see her big day. So I can complain this deployment sucks but it sucks for him as well in so many ways. I have watched a soldier miss the birth of his daughter and soldiers every day miss the birthdays, holidays, anniversaries. Who am I to complain? I have my friends and family to surround me in good times and in bad. Who do they have out there? Who do they have to give them support when they had a bad day. When they are hot or sick? Soldiers don't get that. Soldiers struggle too. They struggle with the change in their life. Watching countries they are trying to help just can effect them on a deeper level than we can understand. All we can do is sympathize and listen. Remember even if they did have someone to talk to they can't about so many things.

Although us wives feel like there are days when we are stuck with the hardest job in the Army just think how long could you go without kissing and hugging your children? How long could you go without sleep and clean water? How would you make it closed off from most of the world? We both live with "No Air"

No Air








As you can see this is one of my most recent favorite songs. I have found my layout and page by one of my favorite Layout Artists :) This song fit perfectly for how I have been feeling dealing with this deployment.


The quote for us Army Wife's is the toughest job in the Army. I don't think its the toughest. I know what the soldiers go through when they were deployed. A lot of times they go through deployment without any kind of support. Even in our situation here I am and I have my kids to kiss and hug when I need it. Granted I don't hug or kiss James but he gives his emotional support in his own ways. Skylar keeps me plenty busy as well. So if you listen to the lyrics of the song the female artist is Jordin Sparks and the male artist is Chris Brown and I can imagine Rick feels a lot of the same emotions but in a different way.

On opposite sides of the world we are feeling the same emotions and just wanting to be with each other.


On the home front I am feeling like I am living each day with no air. I struggle to go to sleep and I struggle to begin my new day. Each day I begin I miss his presence. I miss waking up next to him there is something special about waking up to the person you long for, you love, your devoted to each day. That should never be taken for granted. How many of you can honestly say you know what it feels like to crave the touch of your soul mate. Some of you are single and I know you would love to be touched and loved. But when my husband shows me affection simply by placing his hand on the small of my back as I work or wipes away my tears. While he is deployed it leaves such a deep emptiness. Lets not forget we have to stay strong for our men over seas. I take this to a different level than I have noticed from others. I have to be strong for my kids. If Skylar see's me cry she gets very upset. Even James, James who is sensitive doesn't like "reality" He doesn't' like being faced with it and I shouldn't burden him with my reality. Everyday I have my burdens, my stress, my realities, my fears and I live with them alone. At least I can talk to my friends understanding or not they come out. What do the soldiers get? I know my husband is very unsocialable and doesn't have a good support system with him. How does he feel? Does he feel like there is a piece of him missing? Does he feel like most days its just hard to breathe?


While Rick is deployed James will start college, Alex has left for his own adventure into life joining the Army and going to Korea. Skylar has lost teeth and will beginning Kindergarten. All of these milestones are important in a child's life. I have missed some milestones in Mackenzie's life I will never get back and that has left me with a memory I will never forget. To not take life for granted and cherish each little second of it. That second may change your life. I get to play the role of both parents in a way. I had to stand by Alex as he waited for his cab to take him to the airport. I have to help James with all his paperwork for college. I have been there for everyone of Skylar's scrapes and cuts. I will be there on her first day of school. Her Ballet recital is coming up and I will be there alone. I will be working hard to make it her day but wished that Rick could be there to see her big day. So I can complain this deployment sucks but it sucks for him as well in so many ways. I have watched a soldier miss the birth of his daughter and soldiers every day miss the birthdays, holidays, anniversaries. Who am I to complain? I have my friends and family to surround me in good times and in bad. Who do they have out there? Who do they have to give them support when they had a bad day. When they are hot or sick? Soldiers don't get that. Soldiers struggle too. They struggle with the change in their life. Watching countries they are trying to help just can effect them on a deeper level than we can understand. All we can do is sympathize and listen. Remember even if they did have someone to talk to they can't about so many things.

Although us wives feel like there are days when we are stuck with the hardest job in the Army just think how long could you go without kissing and hugging your children? How long could you go without sleep and clean water? How would you make it closed off from most of the world? We both live with "No Air"

Friday, April 11, 2008

CHD Awareness/ Posting for a Fellow Military Wife

I don't post much and I don't want this to seem like an advertisement
to "sell" products. Please indulge me if you can and read.

My husband typed this up for people us to pass around..

As some of you know, or don't know, our daughter, Emily, was born
with a Congenital Heart Defect (CHD) that has required several
evasive surgeries and procedures in her short life of two years. As
a result, Angie and I have become involved with an organization
called the Children's Heart Foundation (CHF).

This organization is based out of the Chicago, IL area, with a newly
formed Ohio chapter in Columbus. The purpose of this group is to
raise CHD awareness and fund research aimed at preventing CHDs, as
well as increase the life expectancy of CHD sufferers.


Angie has worked very hard over the last six months to put together a
CHF Awareness Day with the Columbus Crew. This event is scheduled to
take place 23 Aug 08 at the Crew's home game against Real Salt Lake.
The cost of the tickets is $15 each, and CHF gets $3 for every ticket
that we are able to sell.

To order tickets, you can use the link provided. This takes you to
the Crew website. You may also print out the flyer and send it to
Chris Wilson with Crew customer service. 614-447-CREW

This is very important to us. Even if you are not a soccer/football
fan, please consider buying a ticket. If you cannot, or do not, want
to attend, you can have the tickets sent to us and we will use them
to make sure that every "Heart Kid" that wants to go can, regardless
of whether their family can afford it or not.

We would also like to take some to the cardiac units at Cincinnati
and Columbus Children's Hospitals the week of the game to allow
stressed out parents, grandparents, and siblings a chance to get out
of the hospital for a while and enjoy a great event. Having been
there, Angie and I know how important that can be.

Our address is 105 S Highview Rd Middletown, OH 45044.


Please forward this to any friends, family, coworkers, church
members, business owners, sports fans, basically anyone that you
think might be interested, and ask them to do the same. The more
tickets we are able to sell, the bigger the presence we will be
allowed to have at the game. Also, once you arrive, look for our
tent/table on the plaza and come meet some of the kids and show your
support.


As always, please contact me if you have any questions or would like
more information on the game or the organization.
V/R
g

Thanks! Angela Wrather


Ticket Link:

http://columbus.crew.mlsnet.com/t102/tickets/2008/chf/


Organization link:

http://www.childrensheartfoundation.org/




Thanks from Angela, Greg, Jake and Emily

American Idol

What's up fellow Americans? I can't blame you for not voting for Michael Johns because I don't call either. But the ones that are big voters what did he do wrong? Another great performer goes down the tubes! The biggest shocker I remember was Constantine. Yes I am biased. I love Constantine and I can see why he would rub people wrong because he's cocky and confident but looking at his performances he rocked! He had a good stage presence. I love everyone that has won American Idol but I do think Constantine can very well be an idol in the making. Chris Daughtry also is brilliant but just didn't have the same stage presence I think showed true talent. Chris was another shocking elimination. So what do you think? I guess American Idol is entertainment value.


On another note about American Idol. I watched the "Idol Gives Back Night" and I think one of my dreams is to use my talent of networking and re sourcing and help those in need. I got to thinking when they showed the mobile medical unit in the projects, that I would love to help those who can't find help. I think that's one of the best things I took away from Calhoun. I volunteered for Tallatoona and Tallatoona (http://www.tallatoonacap.org/) was in charge of helping the elderly and needy pay for medication and help with bills when they needed it. I remember one man that lived on a portable trailer on his mother's property and his Epilepsy was so bad. Tallatoona couldn't find help for this man because they would have had to put his income as his parents income. His parents made too much money to qualify. So what was to become of this man? Possibly die from his illness? What would happen to others in a similar situation? I had to reach out to him since I had Epilepsy till 21 and my first husband had died from his. I had to help. I told the lady that worked there and was in charge that he could get help from the Epilepsy Foundation. I gave him the number so he could get help even possibly get on social security. I felt good about my good deed even when the organization I volunteered for turned him down. What better in the world could I make than help people find organizations, churches, and resources to help them when they really need help. I am sure any effort on my part is appreciated.








Tuesday, April 8, 2008

my day

Today we had Ballet. They took pictures in their costume I will upload them in a minute and resize them for Myspace. So that was crazy and hectic I was unprepared and already stressed before lol. After that I went ahead and headed over to the Child Wise building to meet up with Jess and Mir for the remainder of playgroup and after Playgroup is the Waiting Spouses meeting. The Waiting Spouses meeting went on a little longer than usual. I came home I got to talk to Rick for just a little bit because it was right at bedtime. We were supposed to go to the Botanical Gardens but didn't get to go. I had to go to the bank and deposit a check then since Skylar was so disappointed about going to the Garden I promised her I would take her to the park. I was worried no one would be there. But Talitha and her children were there along with another lady that I met at Playgroup. They left and as they left Pegan and her children showed up. So Skylar got a good bit of playtime in and it was great being able to hang out with the wives.

So many around me seem to put down some of the lifestyle. Not so much being an Army wife but their surroundings. I am the simple girl next door that appreciates her full tank of gas that her husband (and the Army) provide. The fact that I know so many of my neighbors and get to not just know their names but I can also break bread with them and fellowship with them. The nice weather and the spectacular mountain views around me. The fact that I can go to the store and not worry about having two quarters more for a loaf of bread. Skylar gets ballet and loves it. I appreciate what is given to me. Sure he may be underpaid, he may be gone for a length of time. As long as he comes home safe to me its all worth it!

Rick and I are really excited about letting our family grow here in Huntsville. Its a beautiful place.

A Letter To Rick

I sent this letter to Rick in a Snoopy Card. It has yet to get there. I am getting anxious. Snoopy may have let the Red Baron sneak out and is exploring the world carrying my letter with him.

To my dearest Rick,

We spoke for a few hours just now. You went to bed a little late tonight due to trying to find that document; Even though you had to work I hardly noticed you were distracted. We had a really great conversation. You said "you know its hard to realize some times that I have you so fully in my life and that you fit me so well" What truer words spoken. Maybe we didn't have this when we got married but the more we are together even if separated by miles. The more I fall deeper under your spell, the walls of security are down. Love is... Giving someone the ability to break your heart but trusting them not to. Another wise quote. Its so me.

9 months ago I was so scared. I never thought I could do this. I was going to try and succeed. But you would tell me to be strong. For many years I have been told how strong I was but never saw the strength within myself in many ways. In many ways yes I think I am strong, I think I have a strong will power, I have a strong sense of self, and I know what I want without doubt. When you looked me in the eye and told me to be strong for you, I wanted to disappear. I didn't want to disappoint you. Over the past nine months I have learned what you meant. I have learned what I need to do. I never knew I could be the rock 100% of the time. I have never been in the shape to do so. Uniquely I have found that yes here at home I have to be the rock for Gentle James, and Skylar. One no more than the other. However I feel like with us its different. I don't Always have to be the rock now, as I thought. We give each other support as needed. I am your sunshine in your cloudy day as you are mine always.

I've been caught under your spell. You take me in deeper. Every breath of mine you steal, Every heart beat you occupy, with every haunting vision where I can almost feel you touch me, You hold me in your hands and I feel like I am safe. You calm my fears, my anxiety, my world slows down for the few minutes or hours. Just by your smile, just by your words. I am transported to a better world. Cloud 9 S.? As you consume me how can I not be yours? How can we not be soul mates with this depth of power you have over me. How can I not be moved and fall deeper in love with you? How could it get any better than this? Yet each day it does I fall deeper in love and you consume another piece of me.

I find strength in our love, our faith, and in us. That's what keeps me waiting. That's what keeps me going. Daily. All of this brings hope into my life, hope that had been lost and some what found. Now its not just found but deep inside me. With hope I can keep trusting. We know of each other's darknesses. Darkness in our souls. Darkness in which we were lost and both of us took many actions that are similar. One's we have learned from and know are faults. "Bring me to life" is a song

You love as well as I do. But there is so much sunshine on us now. So much light! We can see a future. Not a future of nothingness. A real future of hope.

You may be the attention whore but I need affection as well. I need to know I am wanted not just a wall decoration or a house keeper (lack there of in my case), A babysitter, a "warm body".... Ick! How am I supposed to cope when you give me everything and then take it away? *sigh* I don't like how that came out. The point I am trying to get across is that my body is so hungry just to hold your hand, kiss you, smell you, rub your head as you fall asleep in my arms, to hear you say I love you. You can't take away my everything when you ARE my everything. I love you baby.

439 days since you became mine

No Air for 251 days or 9 Months

Days left with no Air 194 days

12 paychecks!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I saw God Today

Today started out as a bad day. I woke up drained and a little blue. I felt like a rock climber just trying to get a good grip. I am hanging on standing strong but I wanted that GOOD grip. If it was any other day I wouldn’t have gone to Story Time as scheduled today because I had the blues. I knew I had to be there though because my friend Christa is visiting from Georgia. She was supposed to be at the Library. She is staying with my friend Pegan. So we had a few minutes at Storytime and then I went over to Pegan’s for lunch to talk and let the kids play. Pegan’s got two (her oldest was at school), Christa has her two, and then I have my one. I came home just to change Skylar because Pegan didn’t want me to go home yet. I told her I needed some time with James and get to do some spring cleaning. She wanted me to come to the PX, to Dinner then to Shawn’s T-Ball Practice. So I went. First I came home to change Skylar into jeans out of her skirt. On the way home I heard a country song on the way home about a new daddy. "Peeking through the nursery window she’s sleeping like a rock. She’s laying there with my name around her wrist." Something about his miracle baby girl. The song made me think of my husband and how I can’t wait to enjoy the thrill of sharing that new love with him. I know we’ve both experienced that joy before but now I can share it with him. Those beautiful first moments with something so special. He can have an added gift that this is something he wants so much and that he didn’t think you would or could ever again. Truly a Miracle baby. I didn’t think I would ever get the chance again either. I was going to come home and put James to work we are going to do spring cleaning in the kitchen and the next project is to tackle the entire back yard and test out the lawn mower. The grass still hasn’t grown quite yet but the backyard needs to be cleaned and the sandbox taken care of. But Pegan and Christa wouldn’t hear of it so I will be joined them for the rest of the evening I missed Rick today. His internet wasn’t working. I am feeling better. Thanks for loving me so much baby. I hope you slept well. You need your beauty sleep to continue rocking my world lover.


 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BotLagLNwPs&feature=related