Loyalty

I have been described by people as thoughtful, selfless, loyal, and compassionate. I think I am a very loyal person. It takes A  LOT of things to cause me to actually cut ties with a person. One thing that is guaranteed to get me pushed over the bridge and have me burn that bitch down? Get my kids involved. That will get you cut out real quick. I am fiercely protective over my children. I am a GOOD and DECENT person and try to be everyday. I TRY to become a better person everyday. Today I learned something about loyalty. I woke up at 2 or 3:00 am to 15 missed calls and 100's of texts from a "friend" who was drinking and as he usually does he blows up my phone when he drinks and when he gets in a spat with his ex wife. *backspaced a long vent that is inconsequential that wasn't one made by a good and decent Christian LOL *  I then found out his ex wife went to the Hospital ER to have an MRI and let her young children wonder around a busy hospital parking lot, 4 lane highway... because she didn't feed them and they were hungry. I woke up MY daughter, my husband got ready, got the other child and the dog and drove two cars (I cannot drive at the moment). So we could go pick up her kids. Where from that point both people made me out to be the bad guy. The one that hasn't rushed to their side for years. I have taken them in. Given them money. Given them food to eat. I have been a good steward. I have been loyal and kind. Okay honestly as kind as my very unfiltered mouth can be. For THEM though I stay very reserved, I push things down. I turned my cheek to the betrayal etc. Forget it. Its not even MY feelings that are paramount here... Its MY children and THEIR children. I can build my children up. I can repair some of the damage they do to them but I am helpless with as much as they destroy and wound their children. *should I backspace here too heh?* Broken kids make broke adults.

Anyways back to the topic its not even just about these particular people in my life but also my sister and others that have betrayed me, wounded me (or my children), Disrespected me. Then turn around and make me the bad guy? I give up my last slice of bread and you say I AM THE BAD GUY? I couldn't figure it out. Then epiphany.... I am the bad guy because they don't recognize loyalty. To one person their definition of loyalty is never showing them that they are wrong. To another it may be giving in to every whim. To another it may be lying, deception, and manipulation. Those aren't the definition of loyalty. So I am the bad guy here because no matter what I do I will be the one disloyal to them because they don't recognize a loyal person because they aren't one themselves.

I am a person that has your back even when the wounds are fresh in mine where you stabbed me. But if you don't recognize that then I guess you won't recognize how once-in-a-lifetime it is to have unconditional love given and real loyalty? I don't know I have been on the soul search myself about unconditional love since I have never had it from people who shared my genes, my blood, whom fill my memories. So I treasure the even THOUGHT of a person being like myself to someone like me.

Fashion Camp

Head on over to my American Girl doll blog to read about my daughters day becoming a Fashionista, Learning how to model and design a great wardrobe... Click here

Country Christmas

I had a vision for the past few years of getting a pretty country quilt and going out to a piece of land that has the big rolls of hay...and have the backdrop of what is so beautiful around here mountains and our tree's.. The clouds and sky are also unique to me..

In 2011 I was working with an awesome photographer for all our family photos. We had paid and scheduled a country vintage photo shoot.. We had bought our outfits and then a tragedy struck.. our area was hit by a series of tornados that is rare nationwide.. So the photo shoot was off.. Since then I had the idea for the roll of hay but never got the money or area to do it in.. I don't have a DSLR camera myself either.

I was lucky to find William a pair of overalls just like my grandfather would wear. Overalls for my son's size are hard to find apparently. I actually needed them for Johnny Appleseed day and someone on a yard sale page answer my request and they happened to be just like my grandfather used to wear. They were a smaller size so I just prayed they fit. They fit perfect so he wore them for Johnny Appleseed.. I was under even more pressure to get that picture done but its been cold or rainy for the most part. Its been very all over the place impossible to schedule an outdoor appointment.

I figured Skylar already had some country styled dresses I know one I bought for her birthday. I remember that a friend had pictures done JCPenny that had a bit of a country western theme.. So I called JcPenny and they had a bit of country theme but they told me the Christmas tree was up to stay.. I was like shoot. Then I saw groupon so I decided there was no time like the present to jump. I would make do with angling the Christmas tree out since we didn't get Christmas church clothes this year and William's Christmas Pajamas have also not been easy to get my hands on.

I was talking to my cousin and she said she never remembers Papa Bear (my grandfather) out of overalls I vaguely remember one time going to church with Papa Bear and Nanny on Easter Sunday and I don't think he was wearing his signature overalls but perhaps a crisp button down and slacks.

This is the only picture I have of Papa Bear (and my horse Nugget)

We went to get ready and Skylar tells me she outgrew her dress... and two dresses.. I was so frustrated and couldn't find William's button down. William's boots would go on his feet but they were really tight. Skylar also didn't want to wear her boots. I spent 45 minutes getting the kids ready I didn't have time to get myself ready or hair and make up done nothing. I was so frustrated ready to cancel the appointment with Rick being sick anyways. Rick and Skylar still wanted to go so I was like whatever.. It has been years since we've gotten our picture done.  Make do with what we got and how we look.. whatever..

We got our pictures done then walked around the mall. An elderly woman walked up to William she started to get visibly emotional. She told William how adorable he was. She said little boys don't wear overalls anymore but her grandfather always wore overalls every day of his life. He was even buried in them. Rick told her that's the reason why I chose the overalls as well because my grandfather wearing his. Just an interesting encounter. It seemed to move her that William was in them.

A Christmas gift my children requested....that I don't want to buy.

I know what the experts say.. they say our kids these days are too tuned into electronics and screen time is bad for them.. Dear Experts tell that to my 5 year old who has been reading since 2 or 3 and can navigate a device better than most adults. At this rate he will be coding by his 10th birthday. My son is five years old and has a very very short attention span. However he will go on Youtube.com and watch videos of people doing reviews on products, watch unboxing of products, he will watch torture tests on products... and before we had heard a peep about the Wii U. William was watching Wii U unboxings and reviews OBSESSIVELY. We have the old standard Wii you see. We decided to not upgrade or buy a new one because well this one plays Game Cube games which we still have plenty of (we still even use the Game Cube on occasion.) The new Wii isn't compatible with Game Cube products. I am VERY thankful that for the most part when you buy a new game console from Nintendo they don't make you upgrade everything... until now. I get the Ooohs and Ahh's of the Wii U. Its a nifty system but so far they only have the compatibility to suit ONE child with One of those hand held screen things... My kids would FIGHT... Now my kids don't fight all the time. They are 7 years apart in age. William is a rough and tough kid, hyper, and he likes to mimic.. He wants to be cool like his big sister so if she is watching Shaytards on Youtube William must tune it as well --sometimes. It annoys Skylar but she used to love to watch every move Alex and James made too. Before I married Rick she was very attached to her cousin Matthew who's the same age as her brother, Mackenzie. So its just one of those 5 year old little brother vs Teenage things that they do. She's just as bad.. he could be playing with Playdoh or playing a game and she practically takes it over. So I can see the Wii U being a disaster here. Did I mention that William is rough? How long would it take him to break that screen? You say yours is tough? Well he had a bumper on his Nabi Tablet he got for his birthday and the tablet broke 24 hours into game play. He's now got something like an Otterbox on the Samsung Galaxy Kids Tab 3 we bought in replacement because it DOES have that option to have an Otterbox and full coverage. Its been going strong three months and I love it because I can use the adult mode when he is at school and watch Netflix or read or whatever. I just don't think at this point I can fork over $250 for any Game System... 

My daughter well she wants a laptop (William says he wants a Mac Pro -he specifies the model too but hell if I can recall it). I am not getting my child a laptop. She already has a hand-me-down from her adult brother Iphone. That is WAY to much freedom is it is.. It scares me with the dangers online. I can't imagine gifting a laptop and saying that's fine go in your room with a computer unsupervised... ever.... like even at 20. I kid maybe 18 but then again I did some really stupid crap till I was pregnant with her so haha! I am sure these are top items on my kids wish lists but I will not buy them no matter how cheap.. I like a computer with a leash on it that if I walk past I can see what she is doing without spying on her (I will spy if I have to and she knows this even about her phone) But no I don't think I could give the kids a laptop any time soon. That's just too much freedom IMO. 

So I guess I am raising a bunch of Linus'

Nothing should come between a child and their blanket....

My oldest Mackenzie was given a Scooby Doo blanket as a baby shower present. For the first year or year and a half of his life he always had his blanket. My now 12 year old Skylar was given a quilt the day she was born at Gordon Hospital when she was in the NICU. My 5 year old William has many blankets. His baby blanket is blue camo with his name on it but he prefers his other ones...

I belong to a group on Facebook and her 11 year old's blanket was basically in threads and she wondered what should she do with it? I told her that's nothing my 12 year old has had hers since the days she was born and won't let it go. I don't have pacifier babies or thumb suckers I have blanket babies. Pacifiers you can usually find an easy replacement and of course your thumb is always connected to your hand but I think those habits are harder to break.

There was a time when Skylar would take her "B" everywhere with her and we went to Kroger. I was putting Skylar in the car and my significant (or Insignificant) other was putting away the groceries in the trunk.. Well he took the cart the cart corral and didn't notice Skylar's blanket was still in the cart! We got home and Skylar was asking for her "B" and it was gone. We rushed back to Kroger and it wasn't in lost and found. One of the employees said he just threw it away... REALLY? a homemade quilt? So we had no choice but to dumpster dive for her precious B and have it washed well.  After that we made a rule that has very little exceptions.. B doesn't leave the house LOL.
Here are pictures of Skylar and her B. Yes the cat has grown with her tooo.




William and his blankets. My friend Erica was PCSing and she left some stuff at my house until she returned from a trip to Washington. Two of the items which were blankets. I guess there was some misunderstanding about the blankets and they got left behind... I am kinda grateful but feel bad at the same time. These are just average Target blankets I am guessing half is silky and the other half is softy minky fabric... William loves them. We have them in two colors blue and red. Sometimes he wants one more than the other and I am trying to wash them enough to keep them clean but the minky is loosing its softness and becoming matted down. There was also this pink pillow he couldn't do without until it got so bad it just HAD to go LOL.. Those blankets aren't even his baby blanket!

I was talking with the receptionist at the school about it and she said her son used to rub the blanket between his fingers. William does this too since both sides have a different fabric he's been known to do it to my hair as well. She said her son now rubs his belt loops on his pants till they break LOL.

I had this blanket made with his name on it blue camo minky dot to match his crib bedding. 

and he came home from the hospital with this blanket and this outfit..

and when they don't have their respective blankets that don't mind sleeping with my oldest son's Scooby doo blanket that I mentioned earlier in the story...believe it or not Mackenzie's blanket has only needed one small fix. If all velour blankets were made this way... It is one of the warmest softest blankets ever as well.. Just not quite long enough to keep my feet warm.. You can find it on my bed most days.