I hate you words with friends

I try to post things that interest me on my blogs and on Facebook. Anyone that is a Facebook friend of mine knows my feed is filled with news articles and discussions that interest me or others. So this Rants from the Mommyland bloggy friend of mine posted a hilarious blog on my feed this morning and I wanted to share
http://www.rantsfrommommyland.com/2012/02/i-hate-you-words-with-friends.html

Decision

 I lead my life with my heart whether it be wrong or right its how I roll... Some people may have thought that it was a tough decision on leaving Georgia but it wasn't I trusted my instincts. Was it a tough decision marrying Rick with just living with him two short weeks? No! I dated my first husband a year and got married with the formal wedding and all that just to be a victim of domestic violence and sexual abuse. I always had second thoughts even standing at my reception wondering about my first love and if I was making the right decision on leaving him behind. I said I would never marry again if I had doubt. I dated my ex for five years and I wasn't ready to have kids or marry him. I am glad I never did. So I moved in...new to Huntsville... new to Army life and married into it in about two short weeks and no regrets. I don't live life by regrets. As they say at one time it was what you wanted. It wasn't a tough decision for me. It wasn't impulsive either. I did think about it A LOT! The tough decision of my life has had to do with other things I am just not ready to open up about. For one it involves someone that is no longer on Earth and I don't believe in bringing it up. I will tell you about one tough decision I made. I was separated from my first husband living in one of those hotel's you pay by the week, pregnant, working at Waffle House, sicker than a dog. I had horrible morning sickness. My Guardian wanted me to give up my baby for adoption. I had a family picked out. My friend April's sister wanted my little girl. My biological mother told me I wouldn't DARE adopt out a baby outside of our family that I should just give it to my sister. My Guardian argued she would disown me. It was a nightmare. I urge you to NEVER EVER EVER do this to your child. PLEASE do not give your child ultimatums when it comes to the hardest decision of their lives on whether or not to parent. YOU do not have to deal with the guilt on the decision. THEY do. I was so sick with morning sickness, kidney infections over and over again. I couldn't work so I couldn't pay my rent and I was so worried about how I was going to pay bills during Maternity Leave. Its not like Waffle House pays you haha. I had the other waitress' stealing my tips anyways. I had a homeless woman get another customer to pay my rent. I saw my husband and he said you can't give up this baby and he suggested even naming it Tristan if it is a boy. At the time I barely got to see my beautiful son and I made a promise to my daughter that I would keep her and I wouldn't depend on anyone else to support her and any of her dreams and needs would be met by me. I owe her so much. Skylar and I will always have that amazing bond because of one really tough decision.

Words people use incorrectly

I do believe every word in my title should be capitalized....

Now I am not a stickler for words, grammar, or spelling. My friend Danielle even calls herself the typo queen. She is thankful for her Iphone has auto correct. I have always been pretty good about reading through her typo's so it couldn't have been that bad.

I am not the type to correct your spelling or grammar EVERY time. My step son does that and it drives me crazy. I don't understand the purpose of doing it ALL the time. If the person cared then they would speak correctly like a well educated snob. I don't type things out most of the time. I am a short hand junkie I admit it. I have used AOL and been in too many chat rooms for too long and over use LOL (laugh out loud). I don't like spelling probably so your more than likely to get a "prolly" out of me. If you look at my phone in my text messages very few words are shortened however. I even tend to type out numbers as one, two, etc. I have always believed "alot" is a word but I have made it my New Years resolution to use it as two. I honestly have to slow down and think between "there", "their", and "they're". Yes I try to use them correctly. I have a hard time spelling "maintenance" for some reason. I don't like to say out loud specifically because I can't pronounce it right in my opinion and never have been able to. I am a southern gal and I say "ya'll" and I always will. "You all" just seems like a waste... notice I didn't say waist. I was writing an email today to my Scentsy Consultant and I was discussing "scents" that I "sent" to my sister but it came out I "scent" to my sister. I caught my mistake after I hit send (I am a bit quick at hitting send). I corrected my mistake and had a laugh over it. Interested in Scentsy? Growing up when I would ask my guardian "Where is Mom at?" His reply would always be "Behind the at!" Oh it drove me crazy but it broke the habit... most of the time. I would tell the dogs growing up "Go lay down!". My guardian would tell me it is "lie" down so now I am busy telling Rick that it is "lie" but he probably thinks I am lying haha. I admit I don't know how to use "who" or "whom" and I might use either at anytime. I do think saying um um can be annoying and makes you look uneducated. When I talk to people online and they constantly hit the ";" or the ">;" or even the "/" instead of the key that is right next to it. How often do you miss the same key on your own keyboard? I don't care how often you type it the semi colon will never turn into an "L."Are you not coordinated enough to use the shift key and the question mark at the same time? Another one that I do correct is "Im" At least your capitalizing the "I" but its either "I'm" or "I am" and I often see I am used as Im. Just look at it and its incorrect. I know a person that says I "wood" go to the store but I am out of gas. When corrected he gets angry. He also said the sink "skirts" instead of squirts. I think sometimes when you misspell or mispronounce a word and you know its incorrect you just want to remain ignorant. The conversation with these people can quickly become like the Who's on First joke.


You might find it interesting that my school picked our senior slogan as "Class of '97 Enuff Said'"
I might get anxious but that doesn't mean I am nervous even though my nerves may be shot. Nervous and Anxious doesn't always go hand and hand.

I do love my kid-isms for their words however. When Skylar was a toddler she would say.. "I hope you deel bebber", "Bam Bam" for band aid, "Bee na" for Banana... I miss that!
William has been very good at using the actual terms for everything and not speaking baby. The only baby word he has for anything is his "sissy cup" or his "bubba"... how I detest and despised that word before it came out of his sweet little mouth. Oh yeah and our cat Cocoa is a Dodo of course I have called her Caca by Freudian slip myself!

Oh Gee! I capitalize words in the middle of the sentence

Our 5th Anniversary

Before you know it 5 years goes by... so much has happened... so much has changed. We've changed, our children have grown... loving and living life...

My daughter, Skylar, 4 years old this day in 2007

5 years ago the pictures of this sweet little blonde headed round faced girl is hardly recognizable in her red dress and red tights. Now she is almost 10 and growing up quicker than I can blink. In 5 years we have been through a deployment then Alex's deployment, We've bought a car and a house and had a baby. You've retired out of the military and started a career at Northrup Grumman. Five years ago I didn't think this is where we would be but I can't say my dreams haven't come true. Its been a journey and on most journeys through life it isn't always easy but I can bet its worth it!

Rick in 2006 (Korea)

Skylar & I in 2006 in Georgia

In 2006 there was something called Yahoo 360. Sort of a blog... sort of a social networking site. Maybe one of the first? I wrote a blog about sucky life from Georgia. You were bored, newly single, avoiding trouble when you were stationed in Korea. You found it somehow and read it. You would send me comments here and there for about 6 months. Then it came time for you to leave Korea.. You got stationed in Alabama! We chatted some through instant messenger and Yahoo 360. I complained about my horrible relationship and you complained about women afraid of commitment. Your no where love life and as you explained it your downward spiral.  By December the D' Man's addiction got really bad and life for me was pretty hard. My two jobs had cut hours back horribly. D' Man was abusing alcohol and xanax enough to pass out for days. He was getting laid off too they were closing the factory for good. The emotional abuse from him reached a fever pitch and my online support told me I had to leave (once again I was in that situation) that it was horrible for my princess. I saw the green grass out there. I had no idea it was you that my heart wanted. You heard rumors of deployment looming and I was thrown for a loop. I had no idea why it was hard for me to take even if you reassured me it was probably in the Green Zone (probably a lie). I mean I have known plenty of people to deploy and I never felt like this. I would even talk to D' Man about it. I would talk to my two closest friends "O." and Kristin. I told O. and Kristin almost everything. On December 30th I decided I couldn't start another new year with the same drama, the same abuse as I survived once before. I broke it off with D' Man he wasn't taking no for an answer either. I had no place to go either even after I begged my Guardian for help. I tried. After the new year you started to talk to me about house sitting for you while you were deployed. I could take public transportation around Huntsville, watch the house, work wherever I wanted, Skylar would need to be in Pre K or Daycare. We had a plan. We had a plan that if I wanted to live in Huntsville. No strings attached and just stay while you were deployed at least you could help me get on my feet in one way... just a safe shelter there with the boys (Alex and James). Alex was also working at the time. So Martin Luther King Jr's Birthday came which means a long weekend for the Military. You drove to Georgia to meet me and discuss if this was a situation I would like to do on a platonic level. You told the boys you were coming to me and my daughter. I arranged for my sister and her wife to watch Skylar but that quickly turned into a disaster after D' Man found out I was meeting a man. It was truly one of the second worst nightmares of my life and you didn't haul ass back to Alabama. At that point there was sparks there and O. and Kristin had already read some of the emails and stuff and they told me it was Kismet that if I ignored it (which I planned on ignoring it because I didn't want a rebound.) I would be a fool and would regret it if something happened to you when you were deployed. That night I called my guardian which was as close as I had to a mom and told her about the horrible night and I said I planned on moving to Alabama eventually. She was disgusted with me and she didn't agree with it. Certain events happened and it went from eventually to the same day or the next day.

Our first photo together in 2007

So as you say on Martin Luther King Jr's birthday you kidnapped me and brought me to Huntsville.

Alex was very close to leaving for MEPS (Military Entrance Processing Station) and BCT (Bootcamp) adjustments were a bit difficult at first looking back I see a lot of James reactions were pretty sincere and nothing against me or the little 4 year old intruder. Everyone had to get used to having her around. Within a week or so we sat the boys down and James said well... you are getting married aren't you? We wanted to do it before Alex left and before you got orders yourself. Then I planned on us eloping in just a few whirlwind days and we went up to the Chapel on the Mountain and got married in the presence of most of our children and total strangers. After the ceremony we went to Logan's for dinner and enjoyed each other's company. The next day Alex had to leave for BCT for months.

Its funny I looked back on my blogs (myspace and here) to see if I blogged anything when we got married and I didn't blog for the first 4-5 months of our marriage. Most of my Myspace blogs have been erased from the server by the Myspace God's screw you!. Maybe I had them on yahoo 360 and they could be forever lost. Who knows! I know eventually you did get deployment orders. You were leaving for training just 5 months into our marriage. We took trips and went on a marriage retreat of course we were newlyweds there wasn't nothing to fix yet but a lot to learn about marriage and even though it was a second marriage for both of us we both knew we had a lot to learn! When we were in Huntsville you got me comfortable here and comfortable with Military Life. How easily I got it! I fell in love with Huntsville. People said it was the best decision I ever made. I can't deny it has to be one of the best!
On July 22nd you left for Kansas to go to training. It was a rough and tough road at first. I didn't know what to expect and just tried to keep Skylar & myself busy

Even now when I hear a song I listened to during your training and deployment it takes me back to those emotions and those fears. I am SO proud of us. I know not everyone deals with deployment very well and I honestly had my fears since I have abandonment issues and had just dealt with the major blow of loosing a best friend and struggling to hold on to the other all awhile of letting you go without even family to turn to. I had my family a 19 year old away AIT, a 18 year old that well God only knows what he was thinking he was probably unsure and scared, and a 4 year old that seemed more sure about her future than we were. She often verbalized it too. She was so much my rock. You have given me such a foundation and a piece of your heart how could I let you down? 

I couldn't have made it without that little bit of foundation and Skylar's steady strength.

Yet still I listen to some of the lyrics from those songs and I feel the same lows I had, the lonely days, the days where I knew how in love I was with you.

From October 10th 2007- You no longer belonged to me you were 100% property of the US Army on foreign soil. You decided to come home for our first Anniversary. I had totaled your car back in October so we had to buy a new car during R&R not exactly how I wanted to spend my R&R. I had planned an awesome Anniversary though... A night at the Embassy Hotel, A Couples Massage and a Gondola ride.

At the Embassy I reserved the Honeymoon Suite and I snuck in to give it my own touch of romance. We dropped Skylar off at the sitter and arrived at the hotel at dinner at Ruth and Chris. At 4 Am there was a Tornado Siren and we were being evacuated to the lobby. A tornado was overhead... yet the ceiling was made of glass?

The next day we went ahead with our couples massage at the hotel spa. A few days later when the winds calmed down it was safe enough to go on the Gondola. Memories that won't ever fade

You came home to me in October 2008! Within two months we were pregnant with William of course with a pregnancy and new baby things seem to be a whirlwind. I couldn't tell you what we did for our third anniversary other than probably eating at Logans. Our Fourth anniversary was at Melting Pot.

After you came home from Iraq we've had even harder adjustments, even larger hills to climb but we are making it and hopefully its sealing the glue between us.

I wish

There are many things I wish for.. I wish that Scientist and doctors had more of a knowledge and could answer more questions about Autism and other disorders on the spectrum. Not what is happening with DSM-5 proposal to eliminate all other disorders's on the spectrum and just keep treating and diagnosing the very classic Autistic children and adults. I would wish for a cure for Autism or at least a treatment. I would wish for an end and cure to Childhood Cancer. I would wish for an end to child abuse, sexual abuse, and domestic violence. I would wish for an end to end the suffering of our troops and their families. For all their sacrifice that is the last thing they should have to do is suffer through whatever ail's them. Homelessness, Mental Illness, Suicide, Loss of Limb, PTSD, etc...I would wish for more peace, understanding and compassion in the world.

I don't know if I could honestly say that if I had one wish I would wish anything above would actually happen. I would have to say if I had one wish that I would be tempted to wish that Mackenzie would have never left my side that he would have never had to suffer through the loss of a parent (or both parents). I would wish Mackenzie home. I would wish that if I could I would wish I could bring him home. Its terribly selfish but it is what it is.

Confessions

This one is a late post because honestly I couldn't think of something. I am not afraid to fess up when I've been caught but I have been leading a pretty honest life in this second life of mine. So I thought I would do some story telling and say I've been caught at the end... that this was all an elaborate story... not the truth. Writers block must have hit me hard. I had a busy day yesterday starting at 9 am and I really didn't get home till after dinner for an extended period of time. Then my daughter wanted to cook a recipe out of her cook book and watch A Smile As Big As The Moon...So blogging didn't come priority yesterday.

I guess I will tell you that I wasn't as always as an honest teen. I did have a bad or mischievous crowd of friends from time to time. Some friends of mine did drugs... I did not. They snuck out I wouldn't dare...

Ah but I did try smoking and I did steal from Helene's purse (my guardian)...

so here are three childhood confessional stories from my (I really didn't think I was a HORRIBLE teen) teen life. 

Helene used to smoke so she was more sensitive to the smell I think. As an ex smoker I can say I am more sensitive to it now then I was then too. Helene's husband used to smoke but no one was allowed to smoke in the house. Even Helene's elderly father had to scoot over to the back door of his downstairs apartment to smoke. Chuck Helene's husband would go out the front door. I don't know why but for some reason I decided to smoke in my room. (I was such an idiot). I had a can by the window sill and I cracked it open enough to blow smoke out and put the cig out in the can. Well apparently I left the pack in my purse and went for a walk. She went into my room for whatever reason and found the pack of cigarettes I blamed it on my friend Stephanie saying they were hers. I had been caught... but she bought my story... I think.

I would be so paranoid outside smoking while walking around the neighborhood with friends because I knew my guardian knew a good bit of the neighbors anyone of them could have called her.

Another story is about a twenty dollar bill. Helene had have several misplaced twenty dollar bills that I wasn't responsible for. My "boyfriend" Nick needed cash for something probably cigarette's or pot.. So I stole twenty and gave it to him. Well he took it to the closest store and bought High Times Magazine with it. Helene had followed us and went into the store and had secretly marked the twenty and we had been caught... Now that I committed a misdemeanor she had committed a felony... so who caught who?

My Guardian had a son named Duane and Duane was married to Sherry. Sherry was rarely ever the big sister people would have thought she would have been to me. Duane was always like a father/brother. Sherry was always a pain in my a$$. I admit there was some jealousy because Helene (my guardian) would buy her gifts for Daughter of the Year (you have your own stinkin' daughter). She would always call her that where I was called hey this is the girl I have custody of... even if I had been in her life almost all of mine. I was never my daughter unless it was "good" for her. I always felt like a black sheep. I rarely felt like Sherry was nice to me. She always seemed against me which made me rebel. The time I came home WAY past curfew and Helene told Sherry to punish me. I think I would have looked at it differently if Sherry had her own kids at this time (now she has 4.) But Sherry was always the bad guy it drove me mad. Okay so the story goes we had sat down for dinner one night and I had secretly dyed my hair with one of those temporary dye's... I wanted auburn hair (I still want more auburn in my hair). Well at dinner one night Sherry had noticed my hair was slightly different... oops the dye was fading and turning a weird shade of purple. It was barely noticeable because Helene had not noticed until Sherry tattled on me. I had a job I earned my own money and bought hair dye. I got in so much trouble. Also near my job at Publix was a Blockbuster Video so I rented Dangerous Minds (you know Michelle Pfieffer is a bad ass teacher to bad ass kids in the hood) and Sherry tattled on me about that as well. I had to return it without even watching it. Yet Charlotte used to let me go into her room and watch scary movies! (She was the cool "sister")

So there ya have it... That's how I got caught and you go to see the confessions from my teen years.

I admit, I like...

really good trashy drama's on TV like I like the Kardashian's, Teen Mom, 16 and Pregnant, Jersey Shore... Although I don't watch the Kardashian's anymore due to my ethical beliefs. I know that sounds like a bit of hypocritical joke. I still enjoy good old fashioned drama like MTV, The Bachelor... etc. I even think Jerry Springer or Maury is good for some brain numbing fun! Oh Come ON! Don't roll your eyes at me... I see you. Its not like I watch this crap expecting to be smarter (although sometimes I feel smarter!). If you don't expect anything but entertainment then that's all you get entertainment. Its like dare I say WWF wrestling...  you know the sports "entertainment", parts of it are real but its mostly just fun to watch? I remember watching wrestling in the "old life" and it had plenty of drama too! Its nice to not have to deal with reality on occasion.

The Most Underused Item in My House is..

My Scrapbook supplies.

I haven't actually made a scrapbook page since I was pregnant with William. I haven't made a scrapbook page since I moved here in this house. We moved in the first few days of August 2009. Why don't I scrapbook anymore? It would be annoying to try and keep William's hands away from it and or scissors. I don't have anyone (but Skylar) to scrapbook with. I feel like my scrapbooking needs help in the form of a Cricut. I just can't do all the jazzy neat techniques because everyone has had their baby bug, then got the big bug... and I am still without a Cricut. I barely have any tools. I am even a rep for Close to My Heart and haven't sold an item in YEARS AND YEARS... like almost 5 years. The only time I venture into these shelves is when I need paper, stickers, or glue dots for another project. My cutter and glue dots are no longer even located in the Scrapbook area... Because I use them more for school crafting. I made my God Son a memory box awhile back at least a year ago if not longer.

Skylar and I made this project for school. I let her use scrapbook paper, glitter, and stickers lol

Its a Christmas tree book report on a Soldier's Night Before Christmas by Christine Ford.

Each ornament tells important details of the story :)

I want to get out of my scrapbooking funk...

Paying it Forward

I have been a big believer in Karma and Paying it Forward. Karma can be the opposite of paying it forward but it simply means what comes around goes around. Anyways today we aren't going to dwell on BAD Karma or the negative but I wanted to share about Paying it Forward. I have been influenced and inspired a lot in my life by paying it forward. Whether it was just a nice gesture or a total sacrifice I recognized both. I wish I had more time today to chat about my stories but this will be a short post...

A few ways I can help others this year....

I can help them with my talents.
I can help them by paying it forward.
I can help my children by trying to be a more productive mother.
I can help my husband by helping my children.
I can help my husband by being a better wife.
I can help everyone by being a better Christian :)

My 365

I have been trying to upload a picture a day up to Facebook but I don't pressure myself to do it so I am not sure if I have made a post everyday and I was going to update my blog weekly with my photos. I haven't done that because I have been sick and barely getting my Blog Dare in daily so here are my favorite snap shots so far this month. Apparently I need to spend some time photo editing a lot of my photos are pointing the wrong direction and as you can see many of them are blurry LOL So this is all I could really add..
Most of these were taken with my Iphone. The Iphone 3G has like the worst megapixel lol I feel like we are back in the 90's digital and it has no flash.

 

My first post