Day 4 of Days of Thanks... Jesus Take the Wheel.

November 4th

 I've written about my connection to this song probably many times in my blog. I have been through some tough times and I have never blasted God or asked him why I know he has his reasons and its not for me to understand now but perhaps later or not at all. I have held on to my faith like my last breath of air because if its the last thing I have then I cannot give up on that. 

I read Gianna Aborted and Lived to Tell about it. Years and years ago. 

She talks about giving it to God etc. I never understood it. When Mackenzie had to go live with the grand bitch I just said God has a reason and its not for me to question it. Anyone that knows me knows how freaked I get about my kids especially Skylar. She had to have general anesthesia at the age of what 3 or 4 I don't remember to have some teeth removed. I FREAKED big time. I still questioned how to give it to God etc etc. But I did my best. I heard Jesus Take the Wheel  and it kinda put me at a calm and I just promised God if he helped me with Skylar that I would give back to him. I would lead my life in another direction. My prayer and promise was a lot like the words to the song. Then when I left that situation in Georgia a year or less later. I questioned the road I was about to take. The Journey... When Rick made the decision that he didn't want to leave me in Georgia and I had to leave the ex and my family. I really was scared to leave Mackenzie behind. I wouldn't live in the state as him anymore. I wouldn't have the safety of my family... Although they looked more unsafe at that time. I knew it would be a better life here. Even once we were married I hoped I chose the right road for Skylar. Then we chose William and retirement and I still questioned my decisions. Now I feel whole about my faith. I kept telling Rick over the summer have faith, pray about it... God will provide and I got the usual yeah whatever... God doesn't pay the bills. But he did! You know how many job interviews Rick has been offered since ITT-CAS? I mean who would have been able to convince him a month ago he would quit ITT-CAS? 

I wrote this 3 years ago and he's been at Northrup Grumman now for 3 years and it provides. It provides him with more than a job. 

When Skylar needed to have that general anesthesia to have her teeth removed I was very scared and freaked out. I was worried. I had been under general anesthesia and every time I've had it was very disorienting to come out of. The tube to help you breathe down your throat etc. Not to mention risks etc.

I had told people about reading about Gianna and how she didn't hold a grudge about her injuries from the attempt to abort her. She gave it all to God. As I said as a teen/ young adult when I read the book I didn't get it. So I started asking in my groups and friends. Its not an easy thing to explain but I tried to do it in my own way and give it my best. I just had to believe he was in control and he wouldn't hurt her. Having that faith has helped me through so much.

So what does this have to do with the days of thanks? What am I thankful for? As I said on Day 1 and Day 2 of this...I am thankful for the broken road that led me to where I am. Sometimes I have control issues and try to take back over and I have to remember to give it God and he will take care of whatever it is that is taxing me. 

I had this all thought out yesterday but didn't have time to write it since I was driving a lot... perhaps it will come back to me later today after the kids are off and the Caffeine hits the joints.

Day of Thanks

My husband wanted an easier way to read them other than Facebook so I told him I would post them here. Every Day I can post a day of thanks.

Lets go back November 1st

Day 1... Thank you God. Its been a long path that I've been down. Sometimes the journey got hard but I held on to faith. I knew it had to lead somewhere. I am thankful for every hill or mountain. I am thankful for every rocky path, every endless burning sky when I just wanted a break. Every blister and worn mile I've been on my feet its been worth the journey...

November 2nd

Day 2. I am thankful I am a Christian. I am thankful for those who taught me faith... Rev Carmack. Barry, Pastor Mark. I am thankful Jesus shed me of my sins and gave his life for me. I am thankful for the Bible for the lessons inside. I am thankful to have purpose and hope. I am thankful for prayer and forgiveness.

November 3rd

Day 3 I am Thankful for my Family! I am thankful for each of my children and my husband. They each bring something to my life that someone else couldn't do.

I will start today's Day 4 on a new blog.

Her Obsession... errr OUR Obsession

 

 

 

I am going to put this out there for anyone who is nosy enough to ask wow that's a lot of dolls your daughter has what can one do with that many dolls. Did you ever count your Barbies growing up and say... wow we have 9 barbies one more barbie and that's it we can't get anymore because you can't possibly get 2 more... Did you ever count your friends and say... I have a blonde, a brunette, an oriental friend, an African American friend, and a redhead... I can't have anymore friends. Have you counted your shoe collection, purse collection or whatever item you decide to collect and say nope I am cut off now I have to get rid of some. Even if that item was gifted to you would you honestly say thanks but no thanks I have enough of that item? I have loved dolls since I was a child. My grandmother collected dolls and I read all the American Girl books but never had a American Girl doll. I had other types of dolls including the Cabbage Patch I still have till this day. Now my daughter is 11 she doesn't play with toys we are giving away her Barbie and Polly Pocket Stuff soon as soon as I get well. Most teens get into games and have a Play Station, a Wii, an Xbox, their computer and at least 10 games for every platform. She's not really into gaming unless its Sims. Boys have Lego's ....So if it takes an Army of American Girl dolls to keep her uninterested in boys guess what? I will buy her an Army. Eventually she will grow up and still go boy crazy but for now as fast as her body is developing (She's over 5 feet tall and 90 lbs) at her young age of 11 I'd rather keep her a little girl... not a make up clad, hoochie clothes wearing, chasing boy... mom on 16 & Pregnant! As long as she wants.... as long as they are cared for then I will continue. Her 4 year old brother likes them and I have a few of my own the ones I always dreamed of having. These dolls aren't all American Girl and what we spent is none of your business. We aren't going into debt for American Girl. 1 doll may be enough for your daughter but perhaps my daughter wants an Asian doll like her friend Jade, and a Blonde doll that's a dancer like her friend Kara, She wants one with long hair so she can style it and it looks like her friend Carri. My daughter has friends of many shades and ethnic backgrounds so why shouldn't her dolls be as diverse? Sorry vent over I am just tired of being asked LOL...

Timebomb

Screw fear, its contagious
Infecting everything
It makes me do such stupid, stupid stuff
I say things I never mean
What exactly do I think?
Who am I protecting?
If I fall itll blow up in my face
Thats just crazy
Im delicate
Im sensitive
Please try to be more careful
Youre mean
Youre a lunatic
Lets try to make this fun again
Its only love, give it away
(Its only love)
Youll probably get it back again
(Its only love)
Its simple, its a silly thing
Throw it away like a boomerang
I wish we all could lighten up
Its only love, not a time bomb
Im tired from last nights fight
I wish I hadnt started it
I hate when my fear speaks for me
It makes me nasty
I thought we could start again
Go back to the days when we felt like friends
Its all too serious for me
And I know Im guilty
Matchsticks and poison
Thats what I add to the fire
My dear, Im frozen
Turned from a saint to a liar
Its only love, give it away
(Its only love)
Youll probably get it back again
(Its only love)
Its simple, its a silly thing
Throw it away like a boomerang
I wish we all could lighten up
Its only love not a time bomb
I dont want to be precious
I dont want to feel stress
Life is for the living, but not a living hell
So take it
Take this
Oh, you can have all of me
Take it
Take this
Here, you can have everything
I dont want to be flawless
When I go I want the cuts to show
So take it
Take this
Oh, you can have all of me
Break it
Take it
Oh, f**k it, have everything
Its only love, give it away
(Its only love)
Youll probably get it back again
(Its only love)
Its simple, its a silly thing
Throw it away like a boomerang
I wish we all could lighten up
Its only love not a time bomb
(Its only love)
(Its only love)
Its simple, its a silly thing
Throw it away like a boomerang
I wish we all could lighten up
Its only love not a time bomb

Read more: Pink - Timebomb Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Random catch up

When I speak or write my thoughts are articulate and well thought out but I've been known to be very random and I have a severe filter malfunction ha!

I haven't had much time to blog lately just a few posts on my private blog. So as I sit in the car line at my daughters school waiting to pick her up I thought I would take time to write. So anyways this will be very random haha

My husband started a blog recently.

Sometimes when I talk to a old friend they reminisce and yeah it was good times no doubt and I don't usually have a problem bringing up the past but as I have mentioned the name of my blog is called Bella's second life. Before 2007 I lived in Georgia I was involved with an addict and just trying to survive. That's a lot different than my life now... Go ahead go to my timeline and pick a blog post before 2007. The other day I was talking to a friend of the "old" Bella. He said what the hell were you thinking with the choices you made especially in men. I used the same excuse as many people do. I replied young, dumb, and naive!

He said I don't think so you were looking for someone, something a certain quality. So now that has me pondering and I know it's true. I don't understand why so many people including someone I thought of as a mother can't be happy about my new life. They don't even give my husband a chance to even get to know him. Why can't they just be happy I've overcome the drama, grew up, and have a good husband. Even if its crappy be happy I'm happy! I don't get it? How can you say I don't belong here if you don't know the new me or my husband. I really feel quite disconnected from my past. I own up to it 100% but I feel like a different person. The only link I have to the past is my best friend Jennifer. I see Jennifer similar struggles and its hard it would be like trying to get your footing and just not being able to keep your balance. She's also different than me she says she could never leave Calhoun, even if it meant a better life. She is happy for me but we are close like sisters and miss each other and it's hard to be the best friend when your bestie needs a shoulder to cry on and you can't give that to her. Electronically just isn't the same. I value this friendship so much.



Anyways train of thought was interrupted when my time was up in the Car Line.

Nobody's home

"Nobody's Home"

Well I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

I thought I would never have to feel this way again. I was hoping this new life that Skylar would never cry again. We made her cry we hurt her. I don't even know how to process that.

Dream Journal

My therapist suggested I use a dream app to interpret my dreams as Iphone friendly as I am I don't feel like typing out a whole long dream on my Iphone and I am not good at finding meaning so if anyone has input let me know.

My first dream was about my mother. I dreamed she was under heavy drug use and her husband (who passed away two years ago) and some how drama got started with her husband. I found her "out of it" either OD'ing or going through withdraws he didn't want me to take her to the hospital so he framed me for doing something wrong and Rick and I were just trying to get her help. Very strange

Then I met Michael Stipe the head singer of REM

In another dream Skylar wanted a particular American Girl doll I am not fond of for no other reason that she just doesn't excite me (we collect AG dolls together) so I was like damn I had to start all over LOL

Mackenzie's birth story

I was very pregnant with Mackenzie and I worked at Domino's with Adam at the time. Well since i couldn't really do anything but answer phones I probably spent most of the time in the office answering phones. I was on the phone with Angela and she had had Penny a few years before so she was telling me what contractions felt like. A few days later Adam was due to start vacation and I felt the sharpest pains I have ever felt in my life like someone was stabbing my cervix but it was nothing like Angela had described labor to be. I tried walking it off, resting, everything and my Midwife or nurse through the OB practice told me if I was on the phone with her and talking through them then it wasn't true labor. I ended up being in so much pain I went to Southern Regional Medical Hospital which is the closest place to me. I lived in Riverdale at the time. I had moved to Riverdale because Domino's corporate gave Adam and I the store to run. We wanted to be closer to Helene and we bought a house there. But because I got pregnant in Marietta and lived for a very short time in Woodstock my OB and Neonatalogist was in Marietta. I went to Southern Regional at 38 weeks pregnant and they hooked me up to the monitors and it showed no contractions just uterine irritation. They said they were giving me medicine to rest and they offered me demerol but I refused it. I woke up after a nap and my labor had stopped to this day I think they stopped it. I fought to see an OB and they told me they didn't have an OB on the floor yeah whatever LOL. They released me and suggested I follow up with my regular OB. So I did I had an appointment scheduled the next day anyways. Adam and I took the long drive up to Marietta that day and by the time I got to the OB's office I couldn't move I was in so much pain. They had to bring a wheel chair and get me in the office. They said they could induce me but didn't suggest it at 38 weeks. I went to Labor and Delivery and was giving a half a dose of cervidil and the monitors still didn't show contractions just uterine irritation. Of course because the contractions didn't feel like Angela had explained how they felt they felt like stabbing pains deep down LOL. After 5 minutes of pitocin my contractions were so on top of each other they had to stop it. To t his day I believe I was in true labor it just wasn't picking up. I believe my cervix was contracting and not my uterus. I remember filming Mackenzie's hiccups and then I went to sleep and slept for 9 hours. I woke up screaming bloody murder like someone was killing me in the middle of the night. Adam woke up seizing and begged his sister to help me. At the time I didn't want his sister there at all and told her to help Adam. The Midwife wanted Adam to go to the ER but Adam refused and REALLY didn't want the medical bills for something they couldn't help him with. He begged me to get the epidural that he couldn't stand to see me in that much pain so I did and fell asleep again for a few more hours I woke up from the midwife wanting to check my cervix and I told her I couldn't feel anything from my belly button down... not just numb but nothing like it wasn't there BUT I did feel wetness... My water had broke and I was at 10 CM. Time to push. I am like how am I going to push if I can't feel anything. She said think about it real hard. Adam and Jennifer held me and I watched in the mirror and pushed him out in 32 minutes. Mackenzie Robert Taylor weighed 7 lbs 1 ounce and was 17 and half inches long :) He was born at Kennestone Hosptial in Marietta GA and at the time Matthew my nephew who was born on May 24th was in NICU at the same hospital.

Too Blessed to be stressed

I am sorry if this comes across the wrong way as I tend to get preachy so for all of you who aren't Christian I apologize for offending but I don't apologize for believing. When we can't go to church on Sunday we watch from home. So Sunday we were watching and our preacher Mark whom we LOVE because he is so happy go lucky, positive, smart, and witty... Was in tears. The Friday before Mother's Day I saw a tweet that said his wife was getting released from the hospital and she was resting well. I wondered what that was about until I watched his sermon yesterday and he said his wife had either Stage 2 or Stage 3 breast cancer and that she was in surgery that day to remove as much as they could. Everyone is pretty devastated by the news. He was in her hospital room and he told her honey I am just not happy lately. She said Mark have you counted your blessings? He said his father whom was his best friend until his death used to count his blessings daily and write down a few things that he was blessed with. So Mark was doing the same thing but dealing with Jan's illness he hadn't been writing and he was pleaded to God where was his miracle of healing? God responded with your son who isn't supposed to be alive, your church, this example and that example. Mark knew he was selfish and continued to feel blessed by his miracles but also hurt so much for his wife. So he went back to writing his blessings. It was very hard for me to watch that sermon without tears because when he cries I cry. When he told us of his sons miracle a few months ago I cried like a baby. Every Easter he shares beautiful stories and I cry like a baby.

 

If you knew me in my old life (I call this my second life) you knew my life was very troublesome. My blogs were so emotional and often my life was filled with turmoil. Since coming to Alabama and starting my second life there has been a limit to the turmoil and I don't blog much anymore. When I do blog I don't get the response or comments I used to when my life was filled with turmoil. It was like people were there to watch me fail. I was very turned off that my "friends" had tuned out my happy life and were more entertained by the turmoil in my life. I have learned as Mark did that you can't dwell on the hard ships and you have to be in the glory of the blessings and see each day that a new blessing has occurred.

 

I know so many people that they complain constantly and I just want to ask them for every complaint what is their blessing. Instead of complaining that their husband doesn't help around the house... At least he supports the family financially. If the husband works long hours... At least he has a job. They have allergies... At least its not cancer. There is ALWAYS someone worse than you and I have experienced this through my many health issues and hospitalizations. Instead of complaining that my step son is ill and disabled I know I have been blessed that God felt I was worthy enough to raise him and his Autism could be worse... His illness COULD be worse. Someday's with him I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel because ONLY HE can see it if he believes but I still believe in him and hold his hand and blessed to know him.

 

Why should complaining get more attention than Positive experiences? I see it all the time on FB. Someone complains and they get tons of interaction. Someone says, "I feel so blessed..." and they get birds chirping. (Yes, I see the irony as I'm complaining about complaining). But let's turn that around! Tell me something you feel blessed with or something GOOD that has happened to you recently! Let's all share in each other's joy!

Friendships

I am not without flaws,  Lately though my friendships and even my marriage have come into focus and I have struggled with my mental illness and it effects my relationships and vice versa. Years ago with O she would be two faced and be like one person to my face and be another person when my back was turned. With B she took me on a roller coaster like it was a nightmare. With my relationships well its quite a journey and not always a healthy one. With MOST of my relationships with family and friends I don't think I am treated as I deserve. I am a loyal, giving, forgiving, thoughtful friend and I can't say how many people in my life that I can expect to rely on with 100%

Rick and I were play catch up with our churches sermons. Pastor Mark spoke a few weeks ago on friendships and it was very relevant. I know not everyone is a Christian and I respect that but if you could watch/download take a moment and listen to this sermon... it even works on your smart phone. Its a good message about being a friend http://willowbrook.sermon.tv/mc/7504392

Pastor Mark says "Do you serve your friends or do you expect to be served by them? Are you a giver or a taker in your relationships? Are you a blessing to your friends or a user? Have you ever had a friend that's a user? Every time they call they want something?" He goes on to talk about his wife Jan who has a friend that always calls and texts and she always needs something. Jan says she just wishes she would talk. I have friends like this and when they do call to talk. They call to talk about themselves or aren't focused on the conversation so what's the point in having one?

I try to be a supportive friend. I may not agree with you but I still try to be there for you. I even have been known to stick up for you even if I don't 100% agree with it. I don't know if this makes me wrong or right.... but when I say hey I started this new forum? Would you mind joining? Hey I am having this fundraiser or online party.... Do you take a look or do you think pfft I can't afford that? Did you even look? How have you been supportive to me? Have you returned the favor lately? HONESTLY how much is it to send an e-card on my birthday? If you know I am going through some issues or a rough time have you offered to cook a meal or just drop the focus on you for ONE minute to see what is going on in my life.

After my hellish roller coaster with B. I stood up to her and yes she did some things that back fired but I took it blow by blow and was the mature one and just kept my mouth shut. I felt for a minute I was closed out of my own circle of friends then I realized if they did that then they weren't my friends. I learned life lessons that year about friendships. I lost two close friends that year because I wasn't willing to be treated like that. Since then I am learning to let go of friends that don't give as much as they take... Especially when I need space. You expect me to call you but you never have picked up the phone yourself? How about the golden rule of treat others like you want to be treated... try that on for size.

What I Learned from Celebrity Wife Swap.

Recently there was an episode of Celebrity Wife Swap with Kendra Wilkinson and Kate Gosselin. I thought it would be interesting so I DVR'd it. I've watched it now and I was surprised but not surprised at how OCD Kate Gosselin is I mean she is so OCD her eye lashes are straight or she will pluck one. Of course I would think if you had 8 children you need a certain amount of OCD and time management skills. Especially them being sextuplets. Kendra has one kid so I think she can afford to be more laid back... financially and with her time. Kate felt the need to judge how Kendra and Hank run their house. As a single mother of 8 kids your not going to get a lot of me time if you don't have help. Now she as in Kate made it to believe she NEVER gets to relax but I am sure her ex husband has visitation so what does she do with her time when he has the 8 kids? When you choose to have 8 kids husband or not you don't feel the same way about your me time as someone with one kid does IMO. I am certain that is not exception but the rule. So don't send me hate mail if you have one kid because your infertile or whatever. Nor am I saying the mothers with one or two kids don't sacrafice the same as a larger family. Hank takes care of Kendra he doesn't mind doing the majority of the chores that the Nanny doesn't do. He doesn't mind taking care of Lil' Hank while Kendra has a girls night out or goes to whatever it takes to keep her looking like Kendra LOL. Yes she is a Playboy Bunny, She has to work out, Tan, Get a hair cut... etc
There is nothing wrong with having me time as a mother either. Its neccessary. If Mama aint happy aint no body happy... right? I get my nails done while William is in school does that make me a bad mother? Right now what I am doing writing this blog wouldn't you consider that me time? Its 8:30 in the morning and my washer is running, my dish washer is running, my husband is at work, James is at work, Skylar is at school, and William is laying on me as I type this. He's being a bit of a cling today. My point is that no one has the right to judge another person's house hold as long as it is working for that couple. Rick does a lot of cleaning around here because he is OCD and that's fine with me. He's better at the cleaning but lousy at organizing. He doesn't understand certain toys go into certain buckets/bins/toy boxes. He just cares that they are all picked up. I am more nit picky about HOW its put away... I don't want to go through 5 bins to chase down lego's. I don't want to search a closet to find a white shirt... it should be there. So my kids closets are organized as well as their toys (most of the time). So if I want it organized I have to do it. I am also picky about how laundry is washed. My husband is a typical male who throws whites in with colors on high in the hot water.... Because its not clean if its not in hot water. WHen I married him his washer didn't even have a delicate cycle. Rick cooks a lot too because that is the habit we've fallen into. I make the menu and if I should cook (two days a week I usually do) he will find a way to make the menu not useful at all LOL. Hey but at the end of the month when money is tight we always have meals left over we didn't use because Rick changed the pre planned menu. This is the system that mostly works for us. We are really good at divide and conquer when it comes to taking care of the kids and dividing up household chores. Maybe it means more to Hank to have Kendra looking nice so he does the laundry to make sure that she has the time to go to the salon and get a tan. It depends on what is important to the couple or persons and how they decide how it should be done. It sounds like Kendra didn't ASSUME Hank was doing things for her. It didn't sound like or look like she was taking advantage of him either. Hank was happy to do it. I wouldn't assume Kendra is lazy either. As long as kids are happy, healthy and not neglected and the couple is happy that's all that matters right? Maybe Kate should learn something about how to communicate with her husband and Jon wouldn't be gone??? She really shouldn't be giving out advice when she's not very good with.

By the way side note I totally don't blame Kate for Jon's issues... they BOTH have issues which is why they are divorced.

Cute story

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell.
He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard.
As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls.He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.

"Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment.Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

"I've got thirty-nine cents.Is that enough to take a look?"

"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called.

Out from the doghouse and down

the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence.His eyes danced with delight.As the dogs made their way to the fence,the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse.

Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid.Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up...

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said,
"Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs

would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.

In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.

Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."

With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.

Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy..

"How much?" asked the little boy... "No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

The world is full of people who need someone who understands.

Brag bag or tacky bag

I am sure I have written about this in some way shape or form but here I go AGAIN.

I respect the uniforms of the men and women in the Armed Forces as I respect the men and women who wear them.
I believe in taking the up most care of the uniform by keeping it as clean as possible (being in the military is a dirty job), pressing it when possible, and keeping it up to standard. I do stick my nose up in the air when a redneck or a hunter gets a second hand uniform and cuts them into shorts or makes it look totally tacky. (By the way tacky is a matter of opinion for you and for me.) 
I think re-purposing uniforms into household things, bows, clothing, and purses can be done nicely. There is always someone that has to be tacky LOL.
I do not believe in any way shape or form should the American flag should be cut and re-purposed into anything. It IS against flag code. I do not believe its the same thing as re-purposing the uniforms. 
The argument is I didn't earn the uniform my husband did. My husband did earn the uniform and its his choice what he does with them when he is done with them. He has his last uniform he wore hanging in his closet and I have a purse made from his last uniform from his last deployment. A lady named Jennifer through Hero on my Shoulder http://heroonmyshoulder.vpweb.com. My husband actually bought me my very ACU bag while he was deployed off of Ebay so it had nothing to do with his uniform. He bought my daughter one from the shop at Ft Campbell when we were visiting as well. Since then I have a total of  6 uniform bags including my daughters. I never wear rank or medals. Who does that? That is ridiculous IMO. I do wear my name tape and usually a tape that says US Army Wife, Veterans Wife, Merry Christmas... something like that. I have his unit patch because I am proud of his unit and to be apart of it. Since my husband retired two years ago the unit doesn't even exist anymore. They no longer use the patch so someone of the same unit would be the only ones to recognize it. If I could find more Army Wife/ Veterans wife patches I would think its cool to use them. They make child sized uniforms and sell them through Clothing and Sales... How is that not tacky too? They should really make patches for the kids (I survived my first deployment with daddy, I PCS'd to.., I left my childhood home.. Things that kids do for the military life.) I got so many compliments and only a very rare rude comment about my second purse (it also has photo pockets to show off my Soldiers too!) I wanted a second one badly. The photo pockets need some work and the ribbon too. I decided if I am going to get complimented for wearing my bag why not get PAID for it. So I joined as a recruiter for Military Apparel Company and started to carry their bags. I got a Class A uniform for a diaper bag and a smaller purse to carry. Again I would get many compliments and tried to make money carrying these awesome bags. I did nothing but carry a bag and hand out a card to those who asked about them. I finally got the bag I use now as a surplus from someone's business online. So I only really have three bags made from my husband and step son's uniforms. I love my ACU bag... it works for me its not just the uniform that makes it perfect for me its got a nice strap that sits on my shoulder the way it should... lots of pockets inside and out and it fits my style and personality. I don't walk around in ACU all day no... I don't wear Proud Army Wife shirts very often since he retired (but hey the hoodie is still warm on some days). But it works for me and I do like the compliments on my bags. I have even got stopped by a 4 star General. So if its so disrespect to the uniform wouldn't he know instead of telling me how nice my bag was? Not very often you get stopped by a male to tell you that you have a nice purse even if its Gucci, Coach, Chanel, Dooney and Burke or even a bag from Good Will. MEN do not tell you that you have a nice purse unless they are homosexual LOL. Yet I get compliments all the time from our men in uniform :)


If a chick wants to have a proud army wife sticker on her car, a proud army wife shirt on her body, Recruiting for booty undies under her jeans, and carry an ACU bag... That's her damn business. She's not showing off her booty underwear and just maybe her husband likes that she is proud of him. There is a classy way of carrying off your clothing and gear and there is a trashy way of doing it :) Knowing the difference is huge! So if you think I am tacky in my pink Army Wife shirt with camo pants carrying my ACU bag while holding the hand of my toddler wearing her ACU dress.... look the other way we are proud to be in such a unique family. I won't be walking a run way in New York City but I didn't consider your opinion when I was in my closet this morning anyways. Those of you who have something nasty to say about it are the ones that people shouldn't look at when looking at the military wives. 

I saw on Facebook this morning someone said "What i can't stand,gets under my skin like no other..when girls (usually) foam at the mouth about how great their man is because he's a serviceman or cop or firefighter,etc. No no no...an occupation doesn't make a person good. Can't they "brag" about how great he is because he's loving,caring,understanding,accepting,kind, a good dad,funny,etc. Those are brag worthy traits. An occupation is just a check!!" How true is that... I am proud of my husband because he tries to be a good father and husband and he has strong work ethic and takes responsibility seriously... too seriously LOL. Being in the military service for over 24 years shows sacrifice and commitment also traits to be proud of. It IS hard work. Being in the military doesn't make you a good person... Timothy McVey was in the military... He's not a good person and hopefully is burning in hell. There are plenty of Military service people that aren't good people I just snagged one of the good ones :)

Reality

The reality is never say never... I try to share my experiences. I try to share my story and what I've learned in hopes that someone else won't end up like I did. About 10 years ago I got a subpoena telling me that my then husband was dead and his mother wanted to take my son from me. I don't think many women in an abusive relationship marry knowing the man is abusive. I don't think many women who's husband cheat and leave them marry knowing there husband is going to cheat and leave them. Just like people with AIDS say I always said it would never happen to me and it did. I never thought I would run away from my abusive husband to save my daughter and he would die. I didn't think divorce was in my future but death beat him to it. I lost my identity. I was always under my mothers wing them I was Adam's wife and Mackenzie's mom. I did know who Bella was. I didn't know how to be on my own two feet. I was living with a friend of a friend with a 1 year old on my hip at first and $5 no ID to my name... Who can say they've been there? I had no help. At the time of Adam's death I was living with a boyfriend and my baby was 4 months old. I was ready to file for a divorce I had the money... they told me I had to hire a private investigator. So instead of the money going toward the divorce it had to go toward a custody lawyer. I never had much money at one time.. there were times I was in a homeless shelter to times where I was working two jobs. I never had any idea what my future was when I was a 19 year old newlywed then a 23 year old widow. So I share my story about my rise from ashes basically. How I was homeless and broke. People always tell me well I've got a good husband he would never do that... I can always depend on my mom. Unfortuately its not always the way God has planned. I always tell people not to trust a spouse in a seperation that he won't jack you up and screw you over.. Because that DOES happen if he was so great you wouldn't be seperated. Always put your children first and think of the future. Plan for the future. No one wants to be in a Tornado but we have Tornado sirens, drills, weather radios, and tornado shelters. No one wants their house to be on fire but we have Smoke Detectors and plans for that too. Why not think of a future of you on your own and be prepared? No I don't panic everytime my now husband is late. I don't always fear he will leave me. I don't think he would but I can tell you I'd be prepared if he did! Sometimes it doesn't hurt to plan for the What If's because 10 years ago the lives of a nieve 23 year old, a 3 year old boy and a 4 month old girl changed forever....

in 1999 I didn't think when we played this song at our wedding because it was our song of how true it would be...

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. On issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a Black Hawk chopper coming in over a san hill near Mogadishu. When my PTSD starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is me

This is the last time...

An Open letter...
    To the one who broke my heart,

I am so drained and tired of the power you hold over me. I constantly feel myself coming back to you. Coming back just to be abandoned again. Your worthless apologies keep me tied up. I am tired of thinking for once, maybe one day, you will follow through with your apologies and empty promises. The guilt of you brings you back just for you to disappear again. Do you ever think how I broke behind another slammed door? Do you ever think of the tears I shed because you aren't here? I can't keep putting myself through this. Not just for my sanity but for my kids. I have to be a better parent to them and not get caught up in your lies. I fear you hurting my children with the same fantasies and fairy tales you've led me to believe. Over the years the words to tease me and reel me in again. To make me forgive you just once more just for you to fade away. All I ever wanted was for you to be there for me. So many times I lay hurt and alone and you weren't there.  I am sick and tired all of these games. You've ruined your last chance to keep me around you let me down again. After you leave I am back to being a broken child. You leave such a mess for me to clean up time and time again. There is no reason why I shouldn't be on the top of your list yet time and time again for years and years I am left alone. Maybe you never loved me, I think how can that be? How could you not love me? Why am I so unlovable? Why do you continue to abandon my kids and I. At least the other's could stay away once they left....

This is the last time I am asking you this... If I am not on the top of your list then don't come back anymore. If not to spare my feelings and not kick me while I am down. Don't dare break my children like you've broken me. You will never have that power over them. Ever. One day they will know the truth.

                                                                                                                                      Me...

Found myself at your door,
Just like all those times before,
I’m not sure how I got there,
All roads they lead me here.

I imagine you are home,
In your room, all alone,
And you open your eyes into mine,
And everything feels better,

[Both:]
Right before your eyes,
I’m breaking, no past
No reasons why,
Just you and me.

This is the last time I’m asking you this,
Put my name at the top of your list,
This is the last time I’m asking you why,
You break my heart in the blink of an eye.

[Taylor Swift:]
You find yourself at my door,
Just like all those times before,
You wear your best apology,
But I was there to watch you leave,

And all the times I let you in,
Just for you to go again,
Disappear when you come back,
Everything is better.

[Both:]
When right before your eyes,
I’m aching, run fast,
Nowhere to hide,
Just you and me…

This is the last time I’m asking you this,
Put my name at the top of your list,
This is the last time I’m asking you why,
You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye…

This is the last time you tell me I’ve got it wrong,
This is the last time I say it’s been you all along,
This is the last time I let you in my door,
This is the last time, I won’t hurt you anymore.

Oh, oh, oh,

This is the last time I’m asking you this,
Put my name at the top of your list,
This is the last time I’m asking you why,
You break my heart in the blink of an eye.

This is the last time I’m asking you this, (this is the last time I’m asking you this)
Put my name on the top of your list, (name on the top of your list)
This is the last time I’m asking you why, (this is the last time I’m asking you why)
You break my heart in the blink of an eye. (You break my heart…)

This is the last time I’m asking you this,
Time I’m asking you this,
Time I’m asking you this,
Time I’m asking you this..