Affirmation

I have found lately my need, my love language is affirmation. I thought maybe it was a matter of circumstance to that person or a side effect of depression. The lack of affirmation and actions of an individual that isn’t affirming has been really holding me down. It can be something they don’t think is important but I find it important and even heartbreaking that they not only neglect my need of affirmation but they’ve neglected doing or saying whatever it is that bothers me. It actually eats at me. 

Even surface affirmation. I love you, I want to spend time with you, I wanted to see you. All these phrases seem very insincere. I accept they affirmation but my brain can process it as why do they love me, why do they want to spend time with me. Why are they with me? To anything on the spectrum of accusatory mistrust. 

I have been asked how or what can a person do to give affirmation and I have had a hard time with that question as well. I’m not sure how to answer it other then tell me why you love me, tell me what you saw/see in me. Why do you want to see me or spend time with me? I need more details about what a person feels I bring to the table. It’s not that I’m completely clueless of my worth. Sure I’m human I have some insecurities and self doubt. I don’t think that my love language is totally connected to that though. I think a part of affirmation is being sincere and thoughtful and NOT being coached on what I need to hear. Because then it’s as shallow as anything else. 

Is it possible though to have a successful relationship with someone who doesn’t fill your cup?